Author Topic: New Gym Sitcom test trailer! (Read 5111 times)

hpac · « **on:** December 06, 2006, 07:48:19 PM »

Hey guys,

I have shot a 5 minute test trailer for my show entitled LIFT THIS! which I pitch as Cheers in the gym.

I have also written three episodes for this half-hour sitcom and am trying to get it off the ground.

Former WWE Champion Chris Jericho makes an appearance as Vernon. I am aware the sound and acting could have been better. (I play Hershel - lol)

Lift This! began as a feature movie script PUSHIN' WEIGHT which I then reformatted into this show.

My background:

1995 Teenage Heavyweight Champion
Former Fitness Editor for three magazines
Former IFBB Official

I moved to LA from NYC 2 years ago in pursuit of this dream.

I welcome all comments.

Hollis
hllpac@sbcglobal.net

MisterMagoo · « **Reply #1 on:** December 06, 2006, 07:55:50 PM »

it's a great start. not a huge fan of the southern character, but other than that it's got potential.

THE BAD GUY · « **Reply #2 on:** December 06, 2006, 08:00:36 PM »

i don't know dude maybe if u put Serena in that thong instead of that fat ass ppl might watch.

youandme · « **Reply #3 on:** December 06, 2006, 08:23:13 PM »

Could turn into something good. I liked it.

Needs more racism

pumpster · « **Reply #4 on:** December 06, 2006, 08:35:00 PM »

Good luck. You need to hear the truth in order to improve a weak product:

Horrible music & mediocre writing. Poorly delivered, unfunny lines. Nothing at all to hold interest. It's a far less good version of The Gym.

As a result, badly in need of nudity and as mentioned, some racism.

AussieMuscle · « **Reply #5 on:** December 06, 2006, 08:35:52 PM »

Its a good start and has potential, good stuff!

SteelePegasus · « **Reply #6 on:** December 06, 2006, 08:44:09 PM »

that yoga teach has a nice thick lower half

Vince G, CSN MFT · « **Reply #7 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:01:17 AM »

Quote from: hpac on December 06, 2006, 07:48:19 PM

Hey guys,

I have shot a 5 minute test trailer for my show entitled LIFT THIS! which I pitch as Cheers in the gym.

I have also written three episodes for this half-hour sitcom and am trying to get it off the ground.

Former WWE Champion Chris Jericho makes an appearance as Vernon. I am aware the sound and acting could have been better. (I play Hershel - lol)

Lift This! began as a feature movie script PUSHIN' WEIGHT which I then reformatted into this show.

My background:

1995 Teenage Heavyweight Champion
Former Fitness Editor for three magazines
Former IFBB Official

I moved to LA from NYC 2 years ago in pursuit of this dream.

I welcome all comments.

Hollis
hllpac@sbcglobal.net

It's not good. Its not the writing....its the actors. Professional actors would make this so much better.

MAXX · « **Reply #8 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:10:59 AM »

Quote from: Vince G, CSN MFT on December 07, 2006, 05:01:17 AM

It's not good. Its not the writing....its the actors. Professional actors would make this so much better.

i hate to say this. But i agree with VVV

dovidov · « **Reply #9 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:24:54 AM »

Vernon's the SHIZNIT! Agree that the yoga instructor is bangin

pumpster · « **Reply #10 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:44:51 AM »

Quote from: Vince G, CSN MFT on December 07, 2006, 05:01:17 AM

It's not good. Its not the writing....its the actors. Professional actors would make this so much better.

Nope, everything needs a rework including the writing.

MAXX · « **Reply #11 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:52:08 AM »

Quote from: pumpster on December 07, 2006, 05:44:51 AM

Nope, everything needs a rework including the writing.

yeah i agree on that to. its a sitcom but there is nothing funny about it.

nice juggs on the yoga instreuctor though she's a keeper

Figo · « **Reply #12 on:** December 07, 2006, 08:13:56 AM »

Good idea.

Difficult to judge wether script is funny due to "actors" not being pros in comedic delivery.

Polish it up, and dont give up.

jwb · « **Reply #13 on:** December 07, 2006, 12:14:08 PM »

A sitcom in a gym setting is a tough one imo...

A twist could make it funny...

like a fresh off the bus personal trainer who mistakenly gets a job in a gay gym without realizing it is gay and spending the rest of his time being mistaken for being "one of the boys"

problem being he really needs the money for whatever his real dream is and being mistaken for a gay trainer makes him way more money than coming out as actually being straight...

complicates his lovelife too in obvious ways...

more of a cable show though i guess...

hpac · « **Reply #14 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:11:41 PM »

Hey guys,

Thanks for your feedback.

This trailer is just a test.

The three scripts I have written have fully developed characters. I had put this trailer together to show interested parties what my show could possibly be.

The pilot "Beauty and the Stink" sets up the show's premise - in a similar fashion to CHEERS.

I have been a huge fan of our sport since I was 13. (31 now) and my dream episode would involve Mr. Olympia visiting the gym. Serving in the IFBB was one dream come true.

I first wrote Pushin' Weight - sort of a Rocky meets Clerks and from that developed Lift This! I have about 50 episodes in some stage of writing and a highly detailed character bible.

I am told you must work in TV to make a new show such as this. SO I am now writing another feature (my 7th) and then if that goes I will represent my show.

My humor is 2Pac meets Dice Clay and this show, the way I would like to see it done would probably best play on Spike TV, USA, SHowtime, HBo or Fx.

Hollis

BigSexy50 · « **Reply #15 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:14:05 PM »

Quote from: hpac on December 07, 2006, 05:11:41 PM

Hey guys,

Thanks for your feedback.

This trailer is just a test.

The three scripts I have written have fully developed characters. I had put this trailer together to show interested parties what my show could possibly be.

The pilot "Beauty and the Stink" sets up the show's premise - in a similar fashion to CHEERS.

I have been a huge fan of our sport since I was 13. (31 now) and my dream episode would involve Mr. Olympia visiting the gym. Serving in the IFBB was one dream come true.

I first wrote Pushin' Weight - sort of a Rocky meets Clerks and from that developed Lift This! I have about 50 episodes in some stage of writing and a highly detailed character bible.

I am told you must work in TV to make a new show such as this. SO I am now writing another feature (my 7th) and then if that goes I will represent my show.

My humor is 2Pac meets Dice Clay and this show, the way I would like to see it done would probably best play on Spike TV, USA, SHowtime, HBo or Fx.

Hollis

Great idea. Good luck.

BigSexy50 · « **Reply #16 on:** December 07, 2006, 05:16:26 PM »

Quote from: hpac on December 06, 2006, 07:48:19 PM

Hey guys,

I have shot a 5 minute test trailer for my show entitled LIFT THIS! which I pitch as Cheers in the gym.

I have also written three episodes for this half-hour sitcom and am trying to get it off the ground.

Former WWE Champion Chris Jericho makes an appearance as Vernon. I am aware the sound and acting could have been better. (I play Hershel - lol)

Lift This! began as a feature movie script PUSHIN' WEIGHT which I then reformatted into this show.

My background:

1995 Teenage Heavyweight Champion
Former Fitness Editor for three magazines
Former IFBB Official

I moved to LA from NYC 2 years ago in pursuit of this dream.

I welcome all comments.

Hollis
hllpac@sbcglobal.net

Would you create an episode about Goodrum? A quasi-retard that thinks he's a bber.

pumpster · « **Reply #17 on:** December 07, 2006, 07:03:11 PM »

Quote from: BigSexy50 on December 07, 2006, 05:16:26 PM

Would you create an episode about Goodrum? A quasi-retard that thinks he's a bber.

Great concept; it would apply to 2/3s of getbig members.

youandme · « **Reply #18 on:** December 07, 2006, 07:53:58 PM »

Quote from: BigSexy50 on December 07, 2006, 05:16:26 PM

Would you create an episode about Goodrum? A quasi-retard that thinks he's a bber.

Good Idea, that has potential.

Special Ed · « **Reply #19 on:** December 07, 2006, 08:29:47 PM »

Holla Hollis,

Good to see you giving your take on things to the biz. Let me know if you need a comedy writer. I think your idea has potential. There is an unlimited amount of comedy to mine in a gym setting. It all comes down to making that script reader laugh. Trust me, I used to read scripts.

Keep up the good work!

Special "Crunch NYC" Ed

jwb · « **Reply #20 on:** December 07, 2006, 08:44:51 PM »

I would concentrate on getting the pilot perfect before worrying too much about a full season and beyond.

Don't forget if it got picked up by a production company/tv network it would be assigned writers to come up with new story ideas each week.

I would concentrate on a strong protagonist who is definitely NOT from the gym world to start with.

Might be a straight laced guy who inherits a gym from his dead uncle or something. In the pilot he has no plans to stick around but be the end he decides to stay and run the place... might be because he falls for the hot manager or he can't sell the building unless there is an ongoing, profitable tenant.

His plan is to stay for a short while but he never leaves - until the show gets cancelled obviously.

The audience would see this world through his eyes each week as an outsider since most couch potatoes aren't gym people lets face it.

Every independant gym struggles in most markets so the corporate gyms rate a mention as a big brother figure hanging over the gym.

The fish out of water angle makes the most sense to me otherwise its a show about gym people for gym people and who really cares about that?

hpac · « **Reply #21 on:** December 08, 2006, 09:09:26 AM »

jwb,

interesting idea.

My protgagonsit, Marty "The Diamond" Calloway is a former up and coming athlete - bodybuilder who's career was cut short. Diamond's Gym is his home. Much like Sam Malone was an ex-athlete in Cheers.

They are a family so-to-speak and it is Serena who is the outsider.

The show pits Marty and Serena together. Whereas Marty is a meat-eater, Serena is a vegan. Whereas Marty is into weight training, Serena is into yoga. Marty is OCPD and Serena has fun playing with that.

Hershel is Marty's best friend and jealous of his friend's former bodybuilding success. A white guy trying to be a rapper and picking up girls.

Vernon still lives with his mother. He is ripped year long and drinks and smokes. He is prejudice and negative.

Candace has the face of Halle Berry and the body of Nel Carter.

Magda is the Polish model.

Telly is the gay Yoda of trainers.

Shelly is the hick maintenance man - the Woody character.

pumpster · « **Reply #22 on:** December 08, 2006, 09:12:30 AM »

It would work better with 10-15 getbig regulars in the roles..

hpac · « **Reply #23 on:** December 08, 2006, 09:21:02 AM »

Special Ed,

Thanks for your kind words.

Forgive me, have we met?

Hollis

Eyeball Chambers · « **Reply #24 on:** April 07, 2009, 08:11:42 PM »

Bump!