Subject: Blonde's Year In Review
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... Helllloooo!!! Bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got really excited! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ... box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid ... wrong instructions on packet ... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!
June - Tried to go water skiing ... Bummer ... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition ... learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm ... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??
October - Hate M &M's ... they are so hard to peel.
November - Burned turkey. Baked it for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911 .."duh" ... like there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
What a year!!
