Author Topic: YOUR OPINION WILL BE DEEPLY APPRECIATED (Read 5210 times)

bigandbrolic · « **on:** January 12, 2007, 01:36:10 AM »

As a christian I am told to forgive and forget which I can and have done many times before but this last one is really bugging me. Here's the story..

I got a new apartment and my 2 best friends(the only 2 guys i consider friends in L.A) were suppose to help me. I asked them 3 weeks earlier and they both said they hate moving but they would help me.

I was moving on the friday and the tuesday night the three of us went to the movies. On wednesday i got a text (a mass text) from one saying that when he was going through stuff no one was there for him( I got him his current job) and he was no longer looking for friends, after going back and forth for a few messages he tells me he is going to movies with best friend number 2.

Long story short no calls or text on thursday from neither of them and friday at the time we were to start moving I got a text from one saying they hate moving and they are at the gym.

How would you respond as a christian, and non christian?

Nordic Superman · « **Reply #1 on:** January 12, 2007, 04:31:24 AM »

From a non-Christian stance I would just bide my time and not let it get to me.

For it would be duly noted for future reference. The "favour" (or lack of) would be reciprocated.

What you don't want to do in any case is whine to him like a big girl, e.g. "I thought I was your friend"

etc

Butterbean · « **Reply #2 on:** January 12, 2007, 06:20:35 AM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 12, 2007, 01:36:10 AM

How would you respond as a christian, and non christian?

I would forgive them if I felt they did me wrong.

But I'd never count on them for anything, plus I'd have a hard time believing things they said...but that's just me.

From your description of the guy you got the job for, if you think he needs help, you should offer to be there for him but I wouldn't pursue a relationship further than that w/him. There are thousands of other people in LA to be friends with.

Quote from: Nordic Superman on January 12, 2007, 04:31:24 AM

What you don't want to do in any case is whine to him like a big girl, e.g. "I thought I was your friend" etc

I also agree w/this.

Lord Humungous · « **Reply #3 on:** January 12, 2007, 06:32:28 AM »

Chalk it up to lessons learned. just wait until they ask you for a favor and pull the old no show, then you can say ohhhhhhh i forgot!

ToxicAvenger · « **Reply #4 on:** January 12, 2007, 08:34:45 AM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 12, 2007, 01:36:10 AM

As a christian I am told to forgive and forget which I can and have done many times before but this last one is really bugging me. Here's the story..

I got a new apartment and my 2 best friends(the only 2 guys i consider friends in L.A) were suppose to help me. I asked them 3 weeks earlier and they both said they hate moving but they would help me.

I was moving on the friday and the tuesday night the three of us went to the movies. On wednesday i got a text (a mass text) from one saying that when he was going through stuff no one was there for him( I got him his current job) and he was no longer looking for friends, after going back and forth for a few messages he tells me he is going to movies with best friend number 2.

Long story short no calls or text on thursday from neither of them and friday at the time we were to start moving I got a text from one saying they hate moving and they are at the gym.

How would you respond as a christian, and non christian?

I HATE people like you...

lemme guess..you asked your 2 friends over beer(movies ..nah you guys had drinks..i dont buy the movies bit)..when yall were relaxing..at a time they woulda agreed to anything...

this has happened to be before..i ws drunk and a former friend asked me to move..i said yes but then didn't show up...

he DARED to call me on it...i just walked away and told him NEVER to contact me again...

the only person i have helped move ws a friend that asked me politely..and when i told him no i wont....he forgot about it..and didn't give me the "i'm soo hurt" bullshit..

so i showed up and helped him...the guy had the decency to have plenty of beer and food around and have movers take the heavy stuff..

you completely revealed your personality with those few words ...i dont like people like you..AT ALL...

Nordic Superman · « **Reply #5 on:** January 12, 2007, 08:46:41 AM »

Wow, you know his whole personality from that... impressive!

ToxicAvenger · « **Reply #6 on:** January 12, 2007, 09:11:04 AM »

Quote from: Nordic Superman on January 12, 2007, 08:46:41 AM

Wow, you know his whole personality from that... impressive!

yes i do

and i'm never wrong...

Jeff Miller · « **Reply #7 on:** January 12, 2007, 09:24:24 AM »

Forgive them, but don't forget. I don't mean bring it up all the time or hold a grudge, but remember how untrustworthy they are for future reference.

To forgive is Christian; to forget is foolish. "Fool me once....."

ToxicAvenger · « **Reply #8 on:** January 12, 2007, 11:46:44 AM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 12, 2007, 11:26:45 AM

Toxic-

I am that guy that really don't have friends (especially guys who are single because I am a married man, single men and married men have a different approach to life) so when i do claim a friend is because I really feel like they won't disrespect my belief system.

I don't drink and I asked them while we were at work. they said they hate moving and so do I but i am the kind of friend that would do anything for a friend. and from being my friend for almost a year they knew that they could have said no and i would have been cool with that, on tuesday night I asked them again and they said jut text them an hour before I moved. i feel like hey just flaked on me and that is what is bugging me.

a true friend would NEVER ask something of his friends that he himself hates doing

got it?

Parker · « **Reply #9 on:** January 12, 2007, 03:30:14 PM »

Quote from: STella on January 12, 2007, 06:20:35 AM

I would forgive them if I felt they did me wrong.

But I'd never count on them for anything, plus I'd have a hard time believing things they said...but that's just me.

From your description of the guy you got the job for, if you think he needs help, you should offer to be there for him but I wouldn't pursue a relationship further than that w/him. There are thousands of other people in LA to be friends with.

I also agree w/this.

Treu, I would forgive them, and if they needed something realy bad, i would stilll help them, showing that you a true friend, and it will eat at them that screwed you over. It always works like that.

It will go like this:

Friend: "Thanks, man, it is good you were there for me."

You: "anytime, you really needed help. And I was there.'

Friend: "I'm sorry for not heping you move."

Or, if this doesn't happened or you don't want to go thru with this spiel, the next time they need something, remind the jackass that they left you hanging, and Roll Out.

Then they will call you and sheepishly say, "I'm sorry'

Dos Equis · « **Reply #10 on:** January 12, 2007, 04:00:17 PM »

Quote from: STella on January 12, 2007, 06:20:35 AM

I would forgive them if I felt they did me wrong.

But I'd never count on them for anything, plus I'd have a hard time believing things they said...but that's just me.

From your description of the guy you got the job for, if you think he needs help, you should offer to be there for him but I wouldn't pursue a relationship further than that w/him. There are thousands of other people in LA to be friends with.

I agree with Stella.

GroinkTropin · « **Reply #11 on:** January 12, 2007, 07:36:02 PM »

Just forgive and forget, and if they need something in the future, do it. It's not like one of them banged your wife, you're making this a huge dilemma when it really isn't.

wes mantooth · « **Reply #12 on:** January 12, 2007, 09:19:19 PM »

Quote from: ToxicAvenger! on January 12, 2007, 11:46:44 AM

a true friend would NEVER ask something of his friends that he himself hates doing

got it?

disagree toxie..

a true friend would help anyway...even if it sucks. this is a perfect example, come on tox, NO ONE likes to move. however, a true friend would understand that although it blows...sometimes we have to do things we dont particularly dont like.

i fucking hate fair weather mother fuckers like that. if they didnt want to help...just say no. dont leave the guy hanging until the last minute and then not show up....thats fucked. its called integrety

christian or not...you know who to trust now if youre in a bind

wes mantooth · « **Reply #13 on:** January 14, 2007, 09:20:08 PM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 14, 2007, 06:34:55 PM

wes
I agree, i would and have done everything these guys asked me to do. I never do things expecting any thing in the future but it was the one time i really needed them and they left me hanging.

yeah...because they are spineless pussies. 10 years ago i would have walked up to them and punched them in the face without saying a word.....but now

just forget it and know they arent dudes you can count on

Butterbean · « **Reply #14 on:** January 15, 2007, 06:26:51 AM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 14, 2007, 06:34:55 PM

my intentions were not to force my friends into doing something i hate (i specifically told them that I will load the truck with everything that i can carry myself but i needed help with my fridge, t.v, couch and bed) i feel really hurt because they could have told me NO and i would have asked other people, but by the time the day came i could not ask anyone else because of the timing.

bigandbrolic, you can't let this eat at you. People are fallible and make mistakes and can also sometimes just be asses. Is this the first time they've done something like this? If you remain friends, be prepared for something like this to happen again. I had 2 different friends that I see as "wishy-washy" people that would flake out on plans occasionally. After they did it the first couple times, the rest of us realized we could never really count on them, but we were still "friends."

Everyone will disappoint you at sometime or another. There are just some people that can be better friends than others. I'd say you need some new friends....not that you need to cut off these other guys, but I wouldn't pursue a relationship w/either of them. Have either of them apologized?

Quote from: wes mantooth on January 14, 2007, 09:20:08 PM

yeah...because they are spineless pussies. 10 years ago i would have walked up to them and punched them in the face without saying a word.....but now

this made me laugh

Quote from: wes mantooth on January 14, 2007, 09:20:08 PM

just forget it and know they arent dudes you can count on

agree

ToxicAvenger · « **Reply #15 on:** January 15, 2007, 12:22:45 PM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 14, 2007, 06:34:55 PM

my intentions were not to force my friends into doing something i hate (i specifically told them that I will load the truck with everything that i can carry myself but i needed help with my fridge, t.v, couch and bed) i feel really hurt because they could have told me NO and i would have asked other people, but by the time the day came i could not ask anyone else because of the timing.

wes
I agree, i would and have done everything these guys asked me to do. I never do things expecting any thing in the future but it was the one time i really needed them and they left me hanging.

i dunno..i dont ..never ask my friends to do stuff like that...no matter what...

ToxicAvenger · « **Reply #16 on:** January 15, 2007, 12:25:20 PM »

Quote from: wes mantooth on January 12, 2007, 09:19:19 PM

disagree toxie..

a true friend would help anyway...even if it sucks. this is a perfect example, come on tox, NO ONE likes to move. however, a true friend would understand that although it blows...sometimes we have to do things we dont particularly dont like.

i fucking hate fair weather mother fuckers like that. if they didnt want to help...just say no. dont leave the guy hanging until the last minute and then not show up....thats fucked. its called integrety

christian or not...you know who to trust now if youre in a bind

look man..have you had that 'friend' that hangs around ya...and you call him a friend but you never kinda really knew at what point it attached itself to ya.....and ya never really wanted to be mean..so ya let it tag along everywhere..yet small things he did anoyed ya to no friggin end..

yanno the same one that wont stop whining about how he never gets laid..or how everyones always kinda mean to him...

this guy is giving me that vibe..

i think that ws those guys telling him politely...they dont wanna be friends..

Forbidden · « **Reply #17 on:** January 15, 2007, 07:45:01 PM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 12, 2007, 01:36:10 AM

As a christian I am told to forgive and forget which I can and have done many times before but this last one is really bugging me. Here's the story..

I got a new apartment and my 2 best friends(the only 2 guys i consider friends in L.A) were suppose to help me. I asked them 3 weeks earlier and they both said they hate moving but they would help me.

I was moving on the friday and the tuesday night the three of us went to the movies. On wednesday i got a text (a mass text) from one saying that when he was going through stuff no one was there for him( I got him his current job) and he was no longer looking for friends, after going back and forth for a few messages he tells me he is going to movies with best friend number 2.

Long story short no calls or text on thursday from neither of them and friday at the time we were to start moving I got a text from one saying they hate moving and they are at the gym.

How would you respond as a christian, and non christian?

It sort of depends if you want to retain their "friendship". If you do then I would not mention a thing more about it and let them know that you had another couple of friends help and they werent really needed anyway. If you dont want to retain their "friendship" just give them a wide berth and forget about them.

Personally I would hate them forever, kinda sounds like they were playing games with you as far as I can read. How is your new place anyway??

wes mantooth · « **Reply #18 on:** January 15, 2007, 08:32:57 PM »

Quote from: ToxicAvenger! on January 15, 2007, 12:25:20 PM

look man..have you had that 'friend' that hangs around ya...and you call him a friend but you never kinda really knew at what point it attached itself to ya.....and ya never really wanted to be mean..so ya let it tag along everywhere..yet small things he did anoyed ya to no friggin end..

yanno the same one that wont stop whining about how he never gets laid..or how everyones always kinda mean to him...

this guy is giving me that vibe..

i think that ws those guys telling him politely...they dont wanna be friends..

LOL...funny post tox. i hear ya

ToxicAvenger · « **Reply #19 on:** January 15, 2007, 08:41:00 PM »

Quote from: wes mantooth on January 15, 2007, 08:32:57 PM

LOL...funny post tox. i hear ya

maybe i've been scarred in the past by a few of that typa 'friends'

how did i get rid of em..

i just shat on em till they stopped calling me or inviting themselves along..

i mean some of em knew where and what bar i'd be at on what day and would show up..hell 1 would fucking show up at my gym and then hit the bars with me after(which i used to when i took ephedrine to train...jager calms the jitters..

)..and ask me to hook him up with my friends..

i can introduce him to my girly friends...but i cant very well undress her for him

slacker · « **Reply #20 on:** January 16, 2007, 08:44:03 AM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 12, 2007, 01:36:10 AM

As a christian I am told to forgive and forget which I can and have done many times before but this last one is really bugging me. Here's the story..

I got a new apartment and my 2 best friends(the only 2 guys i consider friends in L.A) were suppose to help me. I asked them 3 weeks earlier and they both said they hate moving but they would help me.

I was moving on the friday and the tuesday night the three of us went to the movies. On wednesday i got a text (a mass text) from one saying that when he was going through stuff no one was there for him( I got him his current job) and he was no longer looking for friends, after going back and forth for a few messages he tells me he is going to movies with best friend number 2.

Long story short no calls or text on thursday from neither of them and friday at the time we were to start moving I got a text from one saying they hate moving and they are at the gym.

How would you respond as a christian, and non christian?

I always say if you have to question your friendships its prolly already lost. I would never leave a friend hangin like that and I hate moving. but the truth is the more people the easier it is. also once you are moved in thats when the real work begins. and that you will no doubt have done on your own. I wouldnt say dump them as friends and I wouldnt expect you to lie to them with some lame ass excuse the next time they need your help. when they call from now on just Let teh machine get it and get back to them on your own time. They will catch on quickly and youll never have to say a word

Forbidden · « **Reply #21 on:** January 16, 2007, 06:32:28 PM »

Quote from: bigandbrolic on January 16, 2007, 03:54:26 PM

guys thanks for your input.

TOXIC
i am not that guy!

honestly i will just move on, i have way too much on my plate to have 2 that i thought were friends bug much longer.

Thinking out loud.
we are all actors and i shot 4 national commercials within a 3 month period and they haven't done anything yet do you guys think that may have something to do with it?

Prolly jealousy is a curse in many situations!!

Wombat · « **Reply #22 on:** January 16, 2007, 10:34:47 PM »

Forgive them but then move on...Real friends help each other...These two aren't your friends...And they proved it by trying to make it someone else's fault for not showing up helping you..

All they could have said was they had something they had to do that day...It would have been forgoting...But they had to make you feel like an ass over this...

Or maybe i'm not reading it right and you in the past have blown them off when they needed you...In the end it really doesn't matter...

Forgive them but just move on...Even if it means you don't have any friends in LA..So be it...The guy must really not like you if he stated "he is no longer looking for friends" thats just weird to me..

Sounds like a Seinfeld episode..