Wow, I was feeling sympathetic towards you for the flaming you're receiving til I saw that picture titled "whose the retard now retard". You know its really a shame how exquisitely simple minded some people are about others with real disabilities, like the man with Downs Syndrome in that picture. That "retard" as you might like to dub him was born with a problem(s) he can never change.
Look at yourself, I mean really look. You are enormously overweight, so fat that you apparently have to keep your mouth open to breath because your nasal cavity lacks the proper strength required to draw air to inflate your lungs which are buried under mounds of whale blubber. And to think you speak of steroids....
Why dont you try this new-age training concept called more cardio and less calories. For a long time you need to worry more about losing something than gaining anything. In fact the word "bulking" should not even be in your vocabulary until after you LOSE a good 50 pounds.