I doubt this is being sexually assertive, Remember we live in the US, not Brazil or Europe. in the US sex is focused on as some big deal to do but never talked about. I have dated said types of women and have delved into their heads. it ain't pretty.
Sowing wild oats...Ha. That I guess is why a lot of married men don't get the sex they want (or need), because their wives are sexually spent (hence more cheating).
Or the reason why women "settle down" (settling for a lower model) because that man will accept the fact that this hot woman was a whore and he won't run away. One of the reaons why women in studies pick the average dude's guy's pictures to marry, but the hot guys pictures to date.
Wow!!! There's a lot of anger in your post. I'm not saying that you're angry with women, but perhaps with the culture.
yes, in the US, we make a bigger deal about sex. And a lot of women do have issues with their own perceived or real "sluttiness." But I think that you are making a bigger deal about these issues than they really are.
A lot of the issues stem from the fact that a lot of American men are not ready to deal with sexually assertive women. perhaps sexually assertive women undermine certain aspects of the culture that has produced the United States, but the plain fact is that the 60s did happen. Feminism happened, for better or for worse.
Men need to get over their own self-esteem issues/feelings of inadequacy and accept that they are probably not going to wind up with some shrinking violet who is both beautiful and "pure" in the nineteenth century sense of the word.
I believe that there are a variety of reasons why men and women cheat, and low self-esteem is not always the cause.
And women marrying "average" guys doesn't necessarily equate to women settling. Good looking people may be more shallow, irritating, egotistic, or have a greater variety of other issues that make them poor long-term prospects. So maybe the women are just being smart by avoiding them as spouses and choosing people they can actually live with?