Porn is one of the worst things a guy could ever use as a sex education tool.
{shudder}
There are countless things we can learn from porn:When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
Women moan uncontrollably when orally pleasuring men.
Women always orgasm when men do.
Orally pleasuring will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
All women are noisy love-makers.
A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
Double penetration makes women smile.
Asian men don't exist.
Nurses orally pleasure their male patients.
When your girlfriend busts you being orally pleasured by her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before joining both of you.
Women never have headaches.
When a woman is orally pleasuring a man, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it' lest she forget.
Anuses are clean.
A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a penis there.
When standing during oral pleasure, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.