Got a question for the ladies of Getbig.....hope you can help

[Man of Steel]

My best friend and his wife (my other best friend) have been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years and have been unsuccessful.    They've finally resorted to doctors that specialize in pregnancies to help them get pregnant and as of this Monday he called me from the doctor's office to tell me they got the results and she was pregnant!!!  HOORAY!!!   Well, I just had lunch with him and another friend and I got back to the office and he got just word that his wife had a miscarriage.       Now, my wife and I have been trying for a few months, but I don't know much about this stuff.   


Have y'all had personal experiences or friends that have had difficulties getting pregnant, finally got pregnant, miscarried and were later able to successfully have a baby?


FYI ~ have no fear, Squad mode is completely off at the moment 


MOS

[nzmusclemonster]

I know a bird that had 3 miscarriges then went on to have 4 kids.

[trab]

It happens Mon just keep practicing
I get a kick out of people who whine cant get pregnant and hes a sales rep travels crosscountry all the time, and she's got a long hours high stress job @ some company. These 2 adopted after years of trying - Then she got pregnant right after the adoption!

[Butterbean]

Sorry to hear about that MOS

I'm no expert as I've never been pregnant, but I have heard that it is not unusual for a first-time pregnancy to end in miscarriage. 

I've also known several women who have experienced miscarriages but later got preg and had no problems.

I have an aquaintance that did the in-vitro thing for her first 2 children and then had the last 2 w/o in-vitro. 

[knny187]

Yes....sometimes it can be VERY common to have a difficult time to get pregnant....mis carriage & then go on & have a bunch of kids.

There are many girls in my family that experienced this problem.  What's funny...one they finally get pregnant & have (1) child....#2, #3, #4, etc...come real easy.

[drkaje]

Best thing you can do is be a good friend and shut up. They've already heard the "everything happens for a reason" and "you'll get luck next time" speeches. More talk will only lead to greater hard feelings. Letting them know you're available to lisen is all you can do.

[Deedee]

Used to teach stretching at a physio center... one of the classes was for pregnant women.  There were quite a few who were there after years of trying, finally adopting, and then suddenly finding themselves pregnant. Maybe sometimes trying too hard, and the stress of it interferes with natural functions.    There was also a woman there who after desperately wanting a child for years, went the fertility drug route, had triplets, then a year later found herself pregnant again. Lol. The sad thing about that experience was that twice, I was approached by couples who asked if I would consider being a surrogate mother.  I guess people really do become desperate.

[tu_holmes]

I myself was my parents 3rd try at a child... 2 miscarriages before me, and then I happened along.

I also have a younger brother and a younger sister.

I have been fortunate enough myself to not have any of those issues and have two great kids the only two times I was even trying to have kids... I wish all families the best.

[Deedee]

I was a total accident.  Made my parents nuts throughout my childhood, my sister hated me beyond passion... I was a gift! 

[trab]

Used to teach stretching at a physio center... one of the classes was for pregnant women.  There were quite a few who were there after years of trying, finally adopting, and then suddenly finding themselves pregnant. Maybe sometimes trying too hard, and the stress of it interferes with natural functions.    There was also a woman there who after desperately wanting a child for years, went the fertility drug route, had triplets, then a year later found herself pregnant again. Lol. The sad thing about that experience was that twice, I was approached by couples who asked if I would consider being a surrogate mother.  I guess people really do become desperate.

I think the couple I know that adopted, finally made more home time together because of the new child, then along came their own child. Surprise.

[tu_holmes]

I was a total accident.  Made my parents nuts throughout my childhood, my sister hated me beyond passion... I was a gift! 

To whom?

[24KT]

Man of Steel, my girlfriend had 3 miscarriages before she had her son.

My sister also had 2 1^st. trimester miscarriages before she gave birth to her first child.
Infact, she didn't tell anyone she was pregnant with Crystal until her 5^th month... just to be sure.
She had no problems while pregnant with Crystal or with her 2^nd child Candace.

It happens. A miscarriage doesn't mean a life without kids.

[Deedee]

I think the couple I know that adopted, finally made more home time together because of the new child, then along came their own child. Surprise.

Funny.  All the women at the physio place were professionals along with their husbands.  But supposedly there are all kinds of reasons, including stress which can change the body's chemical balance, so it isn't always necessarily not spending enough "quality" time together, but that the body shuts down the necessary conditions.

[Deedee]

To whom?

Still trying to convince the man.  So far it's working. 

[Man of Steel]

Thanks to everyone that posted......good information and suggestions......my friends are hurtin and I've been kinda at a loss for words......something that rarely happens with me, but I just don't know anything about these situations.    It's good to know all hope isn't lost, but I think the 3+ year struggle for them tryin to get pregnant, the final success of gettin pregnant under medical supervision and then the immediate miscarriage just took its toll.....I didn't know what to say or suggest.   


Now, my wife and I are finally tryin after just shy of 8 years of marriage and I'm just hopin my gear works good enough to get the job done LOL!!!   

[xxxLinda]

great thread.  thanks.

but i doubt you'll really get any real help on this board



nice thread though
How many ladies answered?

[trab]

I remembered Ive got a relative who has 5 or 6 kids now. But they went 7 years at one point trying.
They have one set of twins also now. It's one Busy crowded big house. There's  No telling Mon, just try an make your friend feel ok.  Good luck w/ everything.