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Author Topic: desperate........girls help please  (Read 5266 times)
kreator
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« Reply #50 on: April 01, 2007, 01:22:35 PM »

I dont think that was Jags intent. Ask her.
I think she was pointing out how youandme's post suggested all that negative thought toward women & thats why a girl has to be extra carefull even saying hello. Face it, chicks got to be carefull. 

Also go back and Take a look at the part where you write how you can be a lot better for her than her guy etc.  Its kind of on the
young dude, not real experienced line of thought. ( I dont want to be rude & say immature; your young enough to be my kid)  But, women do want a guy they can rely on and trust and feel secure, safe etc.  I've also found they respect and treat you better if you also stand up for Yourself with them.
Any 2 people in a relation will start to get on each others nerves and try to push the other to change too far for the others tastes after awhile. Sometime you got to stand up and let another know they are not able to dictate everything.
Several Guys I've seen who let that get going early in a marriage, are all stuck (trapped) in very crappy marriages.

I dont care if it's your dog, your sports car you've had for years, your hunting rifles, your old friends.... any woman who walks into your life and demands you give up stuff thats been important to you long term will tend to keep right on going. I'm thinking of about 3 bad marriages there. They are pointless relationships. The guy showed no balls.  Women respect an assertive guy who fairly stands up for himself, and for her.
Its almost like they will test you like this. Never let a attractive woman control you like that. Its not necessary to think/treat her like a whore/tramp/golddigger etc though. I'd hate to see the kind of woman that will stick around for that.

Don't get all stuck on one hot looking girl that has your head spinning, theres lots more. 


hmm.......i don't recall writing that....ok maybe i went a little overboard with the statement about me being furious if in his shoes.......i just pointed out that when i saw them together she acted like the one with 'the pair'.......... but then when she told me that she wouldn't sit down and have a drink with some guy due to the fact that she didn't want to hurt the boyfriend's feelings by doing something behind his back cause he'd allways ask her things like:where've you been,you should have been here by now  etc.,(now doesn't that sound like 'jealousy overkill'?) that sounded like She was the one being kept on a short leash.Afterall would she act the same way if we ran into eachother somewhere else,say, in a mall,would she refuse to sit down for the same reason?Would she have to call her man and ask him if it's ok to have a drink with somebody she knows and unfortunately turns out to be a male?Does that mean that she's never going to have a drink with somebody if that person turns out to be some other guy she runs into and knows him from the gym, work?Just a thought..........

i didn't exactly tell her that i was in love with her, the exact words where that she'd make my heart rate go through the roof when I'd see her car pull over to the parking lot  and that i liked her very much.
   
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« Reply #51 on: April 01, 2007, 01:52:04 PM »

Afterall would she act the same way if we ran into eachother somewhere else,say, in a mall,would she refuse to sit down for the same reason?Would she have to call her man and ask him if it's ok to have a drink with somebody she knows and unfortunately turns out to be a male?Does that mean that she's never going to have a drink with somebody if that person turns out to be some other guy she runs into and knows him from the gym, work?Just a thought..........

   
Yeah she would sit down with you and remind you she had a boyfriend while still putting ideas in yuour head that she is available, loving the chase, the flirting, and the worshipping. Faithful women avoid situations like that though, with people they know are attracted to them, when they don't it's when they start testing their relationship and the it evolves into an affair. No it doesnt mean she won't ever have a drink with someone while in the relationship, it means you showed her your cards to early in the game, and know you sunk the battleship, cause she knows if she goes to have a drink with you knowing that you intend to charm her, then it becomes infidelity. If you had started out as friends told her "she's funny, cool to hangout with" and gained her trust then you could have turned the tables later. thats why I said you have to associate her with negativity you fell for her too fast and unless she wants to go outsidethe realtionship, or start a fight within her relationship then she won't be giving you a call anytime soon. It's cool and took alot of balls to tell her how you felt right off the bat, but that kinda honesty is too much.
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kreator
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« Reply #52 on: April 01, 2007, 02:43:48 PM »

Yeah she would sit down with you and remind you she had a boyfriend while still putting ideas in yuour head that she is available, loving the chase, the flirting, and the worshipping. Faithful women avoid situations like that though, with people they know are attracted to them, when they don't it's when they start testing their relationship and the it evolves into an affair. No it doesnt mean she won't ever have a drink with someone while in the relationship, it means you showed her your cards to early in the game, and know you sunk the battleship, cause she knows if she goes to have a drink with you knowing that you intend to charm her, then it becomes infidelity. If you had started out as friends told her "she's funny, cool to hangout with" and gained her trust then you could have turned the tables later. thats why I said you have to associate her with negativity you fell for her too fast and unless she wants to go outsidethe realtionship, or start a fight within her relationship then she won't be giving you a call anytime soon. It's cool and took alot of balls to tell her how you felt right off the bat, but that kinda honesty is too much.


we were having a normal conversation and somewhere in the middle of it i asked her if she'd like to hang out sometime maybe go for a drink or somethin' like that.And only after she refused, i revealed my true intensions.She must have gotten the picture when i brought her those protein bars to the place she works at, damn i just wanted to see her so badly.She could have told me back then:''look, if you're trying to get somewhere with me, oi's not going to happen, i'm allready taken and I can't take anything from you'' but she didn't, she acted and sounded overwhellmed:''ahhh, are these for me, that's so nice.......''

oh boy, this  really resembles a novel.........
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trab
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« Reply #53 on: April 01, 2007, 03:31:59 PM »

Also, Consider she don't know what way shes even going?  Hey its hard to figure sometime. This kind can be telling' you she don't do this or that- while she's unzipping your pants. This would not surprise me.
Or one year from now or 6 months? keep prospects open and carry on.
 
I like what youand me says about showed emotionall cards too early, but we got to keep in perspective different age groups of the people talking here. You and her are both young, shes not a divorced 37 yr old manager in a corporation somewhere. Early emotional stuff will spook that older woman right off. If this girls good looking, and still coming up and talking to you in the gym- other girls are also going to notice and pay attention to you.
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gh15
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« Reply #54 on: April 01, 2007, 09:11:49 PM »

again advice from the gh15 house of love,,erase it when hes done reading,,thanks sisters

".........and i did, i asked her if she would go for a drink or something.She hesitated for a moment and then she replied that she has a serious boyfriend,that he always asks her things like:where've you been etc. and that she would'n want to hurt his feelings by going for a drink with some guy and that she wouldn't like him to do this to her either.She told me that she's very loyal to him and that she's not into messing around anymore"


i got good news for you and not so good news for you,,

1) girl is yours within the next 12 months
2) girl will most likley be someone elses within 24 months

but hey maybe you will be the one that will do it for her and she will stay with you,,see the no controling thing as first rule in keeping a girl when she is yours,,

you did most things right beside revealing your love? you cant love no one without touching them and knowing them and being with them for some time one on one,, and also you should be less up her ass and do your own thing as in make her want to be around you without kissing ass and with out too much talk,,how? thats for you to figure out,,i would send 80$ worth of pink big headed roses yes hot pink not red with other type of flowers,,TO HER WORK PLACE!,, the moment she get single and write on the note hope your day is good or something like that signing it,,your secret admierer,,she is pretty much yours after

enjoy and dont forget to keep showing up when she is single!


*general rules for you guys:

1. a girl that  smile at you is not neccesarily wanting you
2. a girl that smile at you and do everything she can to get your attention,,,as in coming to train beside you,,tellin you that you are strong and lift so much weight etc,,calling you big or huge boy,,starting to talk about her diet and fitness aspirations when you show up,,bennding her ass infront of your face when you bench or squat,,touch your forarms or tricep by "mistake" while talkin to you,, that girl wants you and you simply need to smile and talk to her for her to go with you out
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« Reply #55 on: April 02, 2007, 12:25:28 AM »

I dont think that was Jags intent. Ask her.
I think she was pointing out how youandme's post suggested all that negative thought toward women & thats why a girl has to be extra carefull even saying hello. Face it, chicks got to be carefull. 

Also go back and Take a look at the part where you write how you can be a lot better for her than her guy etc.  Its kind of on the
young dude, not real experienced line of thought. ( I dont want to be rude & say immature; your young enough to be my kid)  But, women do want a guy they can rely on and trust and feel secure, safe etc.  I've also found they respect and treat you better if you also stand up for Yourself with them.
Any 2 people in a relation will start to get on each others nerves and try to push the other to change too far for the others tastes after awhile. Sometime you got to stand up and let another know they are not able to dictate everything.
Several Guys I've seen who let that get going early in a marriage, are all stuck (trapped) in very crappy marriages.

I dont care if it's your dog, your sports car you've had for years, your hunting rifles, your old friends.... any woman who walks into your life and demands you give up stuff thats been important to you long term will tend to keep right on going. I'm thinking of about 3 bad marriages there. They are pointless relationships. The guy showed no balls.  Women respect an assertive guy who fairly stands up for himself, and for her.
Its almost like they will test you like this. Never let a attractive woman control you like that. Its not necessary to think/treat her like a whore/tramp/golddigger etc though. I'd hate to see the kind of woman that will stick around for that.

Don't get all stuck on one hot looking girl that has your head spinning, theres lots more. 

Bingo!
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« Reply #56 on: April 02, 2007, 12:27:47 AM »

you think i should apologize to her for mistaking her kindness to me with affection?It's just that i've never met a girl so open, nice and talkative in a gym.Hot looking girls usually mind their own business and act like they don't care for others present....Our gym is nowhere near as big as gold's or world's, it's a small one and things like girls touching guys, or leaning forward in front of them on purpose wouldn't be unnoticed, she did introduce herself to me and shake my hand in front of everybody else though............i never thought of the whole thing this way, she probably just wanted to be nice to me......i kinda' feel sorry for her, she must be having guys come on to her all the time for being too nice.
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« Reply #57 on: April 02, 2007, 12:38:34 AM »

you think i should apologize to her for mistaking her kindness to me with affection?It's just that i've never met a girl so open, nice and talkative in a gym.Hot looking girls usually mind their own business and act like they don't care for others present....Our gym is nowhere near as big as gold's or world's, it's a small one and things like girls touching guys, or leaning forward in front of them on purpose wouldn't be unnoticed, she did introduce herself to me and shake my hand in front of everybody else though............i never thought of the whole thing this way, she probably just wanted to be nice to me......i kinda' feel sorry for her, she must be having guys come on to her all the time for being too nice.

If you want to apologize, ...I don't think there's any harm in it.
Infact, it might alleviate any pressure she might feel just being around you.

However, if you do apologize, you need to follow through on your apology with the type of actions that demonstrate your sincerity, by keeping things on a strictly platonic level, ...otherwise it will backfire, ...and youandme only's advice about treating her like shit is useless. You cannot merely simulate such negative hostile feelings about a person without directly shooting that hostility towards them, ...especially if this is someone you come into contact with.

Just do your things, respect the fact that she's currently in a relationship, and who knows, ...she may soon be yours.
Sounds like she's got a jealous one on her hands, ...and it's only a matter of time before he's history.
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« Reply #58 on: April 02, 2007, 03:16:22 AM »

you think i should apologize to her for mistaking her kindness to me with affection?It's just that i've never met a girl so open, nice and talkative in a gym.Hot looking girls usually mind their own business and act like they don't care for others present....Our gym is nowhere near as big as gold's or world's, it's a small one and things like girls touching guys, or leaning forward in front of them on purpose wouldn't be unnoticed, she did introduce herself to me and shake my hand in front of everybody else though............i never thought of the whole thing this way, she probably just wanted to be nice to me......i kinda' feel sorry for her, she must be having guys come on to her all the time for being too nice.

Dude.
Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. Don't feel sorry for her either. She may think it's cute, but she won't respect you if you behave like you don't have a spine.

There's nothing wrong with flirting, or even asking her out, she was probably flattered by it if u did it in a respectful way. Like i said, start chatting/flirting with a lot of girls, you'll get better at reading their intentions.
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« Reply #59 on: April 02, 2007, 11:20:02 AM »

Dude.
Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. Don't feel sorry for her either. She may think it's cute, but she won't respect you if you behave like you don't have a spine.

There's nothing wrong with flirting, or even asking her out, she was probably flattered by it if u did it in a respectful way. Like i said, start chatting/flirting with a lot of girls, you'll get better at reading their intentions.


True he has "nothing to apologize for", ...however it would be a considerate gesture that would at least re-open the door to dialogue to enable him to get things back on the right track. Sometimes you can win the battle... but lose the war.
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« Reply #60 on: April 02, 2007, 11:24:43 AM »

True he has "nothing to apologize for", ...however it would be a considerate gesture that would at least re-open the door to dialogue to enable him to get things back on the right track. Sometimes you can win the battle... but lose the war.
I say just move right along and go pick up and or meet new women. Time is money and so is time spent on wondering what would have been. To much energy is wasted here. Move on and forget about this headache. Its one less asperin saved.

PB

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Faust
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« Reply #61 on: April 02, 2007, 11:32:43 AM »

True he has "nothing to apologize for", ...however it would be a considerate gesture that would at least re-open the door to dialogue to enable him to get things back on the right track. Sometimes you can win the battle... but lose the war.
Well, it's an option. I wouldn't do it, but a little sorry could put things back in "neutral" mode, if there's any tension right now, and he still wants to keep her as an "option"...

But this is probably getting over-analysed.
I say just move right along and go pick up and or meet new women. Time is money and so is time spent on wondering what would have been. To much energy is wasted here. Move on and forget about this headache. Its one less asperin saved.
Easier said than done but probably the best thing to do.
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« Reply #62 on: April 02, 2007, 04:16:13 PM »



Second...so she has a boyfriend.  Do you realize how many girls today have boyfriends & tomorrow they're single?  My best advice is to just 'let it go'.....but....still remain friendly & keep with the normal "Hi" & "Bye's" in the gym.  Do Not ask ever how her & the boyfriend is doing.  If she's interested...she'll let you know when things go sour.  If it was me...I may apologize for not knowing she had a boyfriend...."but it doesn't hurt to ask" kind of attitude as you say it.  I do think you went a little overboard with the "In love with you" statement.  Seriously....you're 25 right?  Can you tell me what it is being "In Love" with someone w/o even really talking with that person?  Small chit chat (gym chatter) doesn't constitute seriously talking with a woman.  You may be seriously infatuated & she may perceive the same thing.


remember....this is what I said
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« Reply #63 on: April 02, 2007, 07:51:18 PM »

you think i should apologize to her for mistaking her kindness to me with affection?

Never apologize! Never apologize for being nice!!
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« Reply #64 on: April 02, 2007, 10:32:50 PM »

Don't apologize, just treat her like a friend and nothing else. Remember that when you're in the gym, you're there to work out. If you treat it like a meat market you'll definitely attract the wrong type of girl. It sounds to me that she's a little overly flirtatious, that would tend to cause problems with you later. Best to forget about a relationship with that one, it sounds like nothing but trouble for you.
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kreator
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« Reply #65 on: April 03, 2007, 06:32:53 AM »

there's one more thing i'd like to get straight,.......well a minute or so, after i asked her out and got turned down, she asked me what my zodiac sign was and told me that she was really into that horoscope 'stuff'.......btw it turned out that my sign was ''cancer'' and hers was ''taurus''...........so can somebody explain what was all that about?I'm as clueless as it gets regarding horoscope.......any ideas?
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« Reply #66 on: April 03, 2007, 10:47:28 AM »

there's one more thing i'd like to get straight,.......well a minute or so, after i asked her out and got turned down, she asked me what my zodiac sign was and told me that she was really into that horoscope 'stuff'.......btw it turned out that my sign was ''cancer'' and hers was ''taurus''...........so can somebody explain what was all that about?I'm as clueless as it gets regarding horoscope.......any ideas?

It means at least you have that going for you at this point... since cancer and taurus are compatible.  Cheesy

It means she was sizing you up, trying to decide who you are. People who believe in astrology believe there are certain personality traits common to each sign. For instance, if you had been an aquarius, she'd never look at you again.
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kreator
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« Reply #67 on: April 11, 2007, 02:21:23 PM »

finally,first confrontation after the turn down,it took place in the gym offcourse,after she streched the first thing she did she came over asking me how i was doing, if everything was okay, then we talked for a minute about some other general stuff............., i was so relieved..........for a while i thought she'd be avoiding me...........this girl is pure gold


btw, she mentioned something about going on vacation for a month to USA with her boyfriend in the near future, I'd like to put a hit on him, anybody interested?JOKE Grin Grin Grin   
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