Signs of an abusive personality

[trab]

Definite Signs of an abusive personality here:

Believe it or not, this man is talking to his 11 year old daughter!     ...just lovely. 

Click here to hear how an abusive asshole speaks to his 11 yr. old daughter

Very sad, tragic when relationships go literally to hell, dont take this as defense of him, but I think this is more directed at the mom, and he has no way to lash out. He's lost it. Leaving it on the recorder is extra Crazy .
I'd think that anyone who's worked themself into his postion in Life would have more smarts and self-control.

Im not excusing him, but we all know how terrible it is when it all goes to shit. I feel for them all.
I hope he gets it together, and can salvage the relationship w/ his daughter someday, someway.
Stuff gets way worseN that for many of us at some time in our life. No broken bones, no blood.
Terrible to have your life on display 24/7 like these people do.

[24KT]

Very sad, tragic when relationships go literally to hell, dont take this as defense of him, but I think this is more directed at the mom, and he has no way to lash out. He's lost it. Leaving it on the recorder is extra Crazy .

Or indicative of a megolomaniacal asshole with no clue his behaviour is innappropriate.

I'd think that anyone who's worked themself into his postion in Life would have more smarts and self-control.

You would think so huh? The truth however is some people have no self-control.

Im not excusing him, but we all know how terrible it is when it all goes to shit. I feel for them all.
I hope he gets it together, and can salvage the relationship w/ his daughter someday, someway.

What was his excuse before divorce proceedings and a custody battle set in? He was an arrogant prick then too.

Stuff gets way worseN that for many of us at some time in our life. No broken bones, no blood.

Agreed, ...but that's no excuse. I don't see any justification to say "ok, so I emotionally abused. At least I didn't also hit" The scars of emotional abuse are longer lasting and inflict much more damage.

Terrible to have your life on display 24/7 like these people do.

Yes, it is, ...however, there are some things upon which a spotlight should be shined. For years many of us have known about Alec Baldwin's temper and abusive ways. He reduced Kim Basinger to a shell of her former being. Some of the things he did were absolutely outrageous, ...and when someone does things like he did in public... you can only imagine what he does behind closed doors that cannot be scrutinized. Now he wants to start that same shit on an 11yr. old girl? It's bad enough he can reduce a grown woman into a state of helplessness where she accepts the abuse... an 11 yr. old girl growing up under that kind of influence is quite literally a babe in the woods, and doesn't stand a chance. And to be berated like that by her FATHER, at such a delicate and impressionable age where she is just starting to develop her self image in so many ways is NOT acceptable. I just wish Ireland has the ability to sue the family court judge that insists she be required to spend time with him.  I don't care if he is her father. She should not be required to have a relationship with someone who would call her a disgusting pig of a person and who constantly denigrates her mother.

[tu_holmes]

Definite Signs of an abusive personality here:

Believe it or not, this man is talking to his 11 year old daughter!     ...just lovely. 

Click here to hear how an abusive asshole speaks to his 11 yr. old daughter

I disagree... see my posts on the other thread about this.

[trab]

Or indicative of a megolomaniacal asshole with no clue his behaviour is innappropriate.

You would think so huh? The truth however is some people have no self-control.

What was his excuse before divorce proceedings and a custody battle set in? He was an arrogant prick then too.

Agreed, ...but that's no excuse. I don't see any justification to say "ok, so I emotionally abused. At least I didn't also hit" The scars of emotional abuse are longer lasting and inflict much more damage.

Yes, it is, ...however, there are some things upon which a spotlight should be shined. For years many of us have known about Alec Baldwin's temper and abusive ways. He reduced Kim Basinger to a shell of her former being. Some of the things he did were absolutely outrageous, ...and when someone does things like he did in public... you can only imagine what he does behind closed doors that cannot be scrutinized. Now he wants to start that same shit on an 11yr. old girl? It's bad enough he can reduce a grown woman into a state of helplessness where she accepts the abuse... an 11 yr. old girl growing up under that kind of influence is quite literally a babe in the woods, and doesn't stand a chance. And to be berated like that by her FATHER, at such a delicate and impressionable age where she is just starting to develop her self image in so many ways is NOT acceptable. I just wish Ireland has the ability to sue the family court judge that insists she be required to spend time with him.  I don't care if he is her father. She should not be required to have a relationship with someone who would call her a disgusting pig of a person and who constantly denigrates her mother.

Im not making excuses for him. The public THINKS they know celebs. But they dont. I dont just accept what the media prints, I dont even read it. Fact is, I'd never listened to this if you didnt post it. I do think you do have a fair idea about him.
I wouldn't want the life of a celeb regardless of the $z.

Look@ Pitt and Angie, Kid Rock and Pam, Brittany... the list goes on. Yes, I'm sure  they may have flaws, but that kind of pressure and constant scrutiny is a load I wouldn't want to carry.

He comes across as a brainless ass, but relationship breakdown will bring out the worst.

[24KT]

Im not making excuses for him. The public THINKS they know celebs. But they dont. I dont just accept what the media prints, I dont even read it. Fact is, I'd never listened to this if you didnt post it. I do think you do have a fair idea about him.
I wouldn't want the life of a celeb regardless of the $z.

Look@ Pitt and Angie, Kid Rock and Pam, Brittany... the list goes on. Yes, I'm sure  they may have flaws, but that kind of pressure and constant scrutiny is a load I wouldn't want to carry.

He comes across as a brainless ass, but relationship breakdown will bring out the worst.

Trab, I normally keep away from stuff like this as well. I see many stories written about many people who I have met, encourntered, gotten to know etc., Some of it is true, ...some of it is false... and I pretty much try not to fuel the fire because I believe they have a right to privacy ...even if they are assholes, ...but when I see the abuse being transfered to children... a spotlight needs to be shed on it. I'm glad Kim and her attorney leaked that message. She is in a battle to protect her child from a monster... even if that monster happens to be the child's father.

[trab]

Trab, I normally keep away from stuff like this as well. I see many stories written about many people who I have met, encourntered, gotten to know etc., Some of it is true, ...some of it is false... and I pretty much try not to fuel the fire because I believe they have a right to privacy ...even if they are assholes, ...but when I see the abuse being transfered to children... a spotlight needs to be shed on it. I'm glad Kim and her attorney leaked that message. She is in a battle to protect her child from a monster... even if that monster happens to be the child's father.

Even if they are assholes is prolly very often true.

This guy deserves it. "Leaked"?  My God, what did he expect? He wins a big stupid prize.
No way for ANY lawyer to talk this one away for him.

I allways suspect 90%+ the stuff we see about stars is extremely distorted at best. I Don't follow it.

[24KT]

Even if they are assholes is prolly very often true.

This guy deserves it. "Leaked"?  My God, what did he expect? He wins a big stupid prize.
No way for ANY lawyer to talk this one away for him.

I allways suspect 90%+ the stuff we see about stars is extremely distorted at best. I Don't follow it.

On a good note... a judge has ordered him NOT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WHATSOEVER WITH HIS DAUGHTER!

[BuffGoddess]

Oh Thank GOD!!!!

[Rhino290]

History of Battering or Sexual Violence
Very rarely is abuse or violence a one-off event: a batterer will beat any woman he is with; a sexually abusive person will be abusive toward all his intimate partners. Situational circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality. Sometimes friends or family may try to warn you about the abuser. Sometimes the abuser may tell you himself/herself that he/she has hit or sexually assaulted someone in the past. However, they may further go on to explain that "she made me do it by ..." or in some other way not take responsibility and shift the blame on to the victim. They may tell you that it won't happen with you because "you love them enough to prevent it" or "you won't be stupid enough to wind me up that much". Once again, this is denying their own responsibility for the abuse, and shifting the responsibility for the relationship to remain abuse-free on to you. Past violence is one of the strongest pointers that abuse will occur".

I agree with this 100%.

past violence is def. the strongest sign. If a person had never been abusive in the past, he/she is not likely to be abusive in the future.

I had a freind who was in a realtionship in which the girlfreind actually called his ex-wife, to see if he was abusive to her...after being reassured that he had never been abusive, in any manner. Of course, some people only listen or read the information that supports their individual agenda. We must be very careful about these traits, and our interpretation.

[tu_holmes]

On a good note... a judge has ordered him NOT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WHATSOEVER WITH HIS DAUGHTER!

Oh Thank GOD!!!!

Actually, it's terrible. I don't see how you guys can see he's abusive... You don't know him, and his statement to his daughter was very accurate given the situation.  Why don't you ask Kim B. why she decided to leak this to the press in the first place? hmmm?

[24KT]

Actually, it's terrible. I don't see how you guys can see he's abusive... You don't know him, and his statement to his daughter was very accurate given the situation.  Why don't you ask Kim B. why she decided to leak this to the press in the first place? hmmm?

Are you sure about that?

[tu_holmes]

Are you sure about that?

I can ask you the same question? Unless you've lived with someone day in and day out, you don't know them.

[24KT]

I can ask you the same question? Unless you've lived with someone day in and day out, you don't know them.

Working on a film set with someone 16 hr days for months on end, you can "know someone" pretty well.

The bottom line is that is NOT how you talk to an 11 yr. old girl.

[tu_holmes]

Working on a film set with someone 16 hr days for months on end, you can "know someone" pretty well.

The bottom line is that is NOT how you talk to an 11 yr. old girl.

I disagree... if the 11 year old girl is acting like a brat, she needs to be told so.

[24KT]

I disagree... if the 11 year old girl is acting like a brat, she needs to be told so.

Her cell phone was turned off.

[tu_holmes]

Her cell phone was turned off.

As a parent, when I give a kid a cell phone, it's for me to contact them... It's not supposed to be "off".

You're acting like this 11 year old girl is an adult... She's not. She has to answer to her parents... I'm not a hard ass by any stretch, but there are rules.

He may have given her that phone with the understanding that it is to be on at all times in case he calls.

How do we know the rules that were in place?

I don't know if you have children, but if you do,  do you worry about them?

That cell phone is probably his only means of communicating with her, and it was effectively taken away... You might be a little miffed too.

[24KT]

As a parent, when I give a kid a cell phone, it's for me to contact them... It's not supposed to be "off".

You're acting like this 11 year old girl is an adult... She's not. She has to answer to her parents... I'm not a hard ass by any stretch, but there are rules.

He may have given her that phone with the understanding that it is to be on at all times in case he calls.

How do we know the rules that were in place?

I don't know if you have children, but if you do,  do you worry about them?

That cell phone is probably his only means of communicating with her, and it was effectively taken away... You might be a little miffed too.

You're simply trying to make excuses for him, ...and there is no excuse for him.
It's obvious he was not worried about her safety... he was pissed because he wanted to talk to her,
and she wasn't there. Big whoop. You leave a message, and let her call you back. You don't cuss her out like that.
Maybe she was in a bad area, where the signal couldn't get through, maybe the battery died, maybe she was in the bathroom, maybe she was taking a nap... Could have been 6 of this, half a dozen of the other,... the bottom line is that's no way to talk to your 11 yr. old daughter.

Spin it any way you want... it won't change the fact that HE WAS DEAD WRONG!

[tu_holmes]

You're simply trying to make excuses for him, ...and there is no excuse for him.
It's obvious he was not worried about her safety... he was pissed because he wanted to talk to her,
and she wasn't there. Big whoop. You leave a message, and let her call you back. You don't cuss her out like that.
Maybe she was in a bad area, where the signal couldn't get through, maybe the battery died, maybe she was in the bathroom, maybe she was taking a nap... Could have been 6 of this, half a dozen of the other,... the bottom line is that's no way to talk to your 11 yr. old daughter.

Spin it any way you want... it won't change the fact that HE WAS DEAD WRONG!

Actually, you are voicing your opinion... there is no fact in it what so ever.

I don't think he was wrong at all... There's your fact.

I don't "feel" he was wrong... More fact.

You saying "he's wrong", is opinion... Many will not agree with you.

There's no spin what so ever.

She is a CHILD... she is HIS responsibility... If she goes off and does stupid shit and gets herself in trouble, or worse, dead... Everyone will be saying, "Where were the parents?"

He's being NORMAL parent. Did he lose his temper? Maybe, but hell, you don't? Who on this planet NEVER loses their temper? Especially at a child.

Sounds like you think life is some storybook fairy tale... It's not.

You're making excuses for her, and frankly I don't see how you can.

See how this whole "opinion" thing works?

You seem to have some sort of personal agenda when it comes to the guy... Certainly any normal parent would think similarly to him. I know I would.

Which I guess in your mind, would make me abusive too... which, by the way, would be a retarded thing for someone to say.

[24KT]

Actually, you are voicing your opinion... there is no fact in it what so ever.

I don't think he was wrong at all... There's your fact.

I don't "feel" he was wrong... More fact.

You saying "he's wrong", is opinion... Many will not agree with you.

There's no spin what so ever.

She is a CHILD... she is HIS responsibility... If she goes off and does stupid shit and gets herself in trouble, or worse, dead... Everyone will be saying, "Where were the parents?"

He's being NORMAL parent. Did he lose his temper? Maybe, but hell, you don't? Who on this planet NEVER loses their temper? Especially at a child.

Sounds like you think life is some storybook fairy tale... It's not.

You're making excuses for her, and frankly I don't see how you can.

See how this whole "opinion" thing works?

You seem to have some sort of personal agenda when it comes to the guy... Certainly any normal parent would think similarly to him. I know I would.

Which I guess in your mind, would make me abusive too... which, by the way, would be a retarded thing for someone to say.

Tu, she was in California... he was in NYC. This was not a safety issue or him trying to parent her.
He wanted to talk to her. Don't tell me he was worried about her safety. He was concerned about his ego.

He might be her parent, but he does not have the right to speak to her that way.
You want respect... as a parent? The easiest way to get it, is to show yourself worthy of it.

[tu_holmes]

Tu, she was in California... he was in NYC. This was not a safety issue or him trying to parent her.
He wanted to talk to her. Don't tell me he was worried about her safety. He was concerned about his ego.

He might be her parent, but he does not have the right to speak to her that way.
You want respect... as a parent? The easiest way to get it, is to show yourself worthy of it.

You can give respect to kids all day long and they will still step out of line.

Do you have kids?

[CQ]

You can give respect to kids all day long and they will still step out of line.

Do you have kids?

Imo, best way to teach them respect is to show them respect.

Ranting at your child that they are a "thoughtless little pig" is simply unacceptable.

[trab]

THe guy totally came unglued. He feels powerless and alone, angry and every other bad emotion at once.

If he lost it, I can see past it. If this is his standard operating procedure, I cant.

Every businessman I know w/ a minute % of his wealth and power is smarter that do a phone rant like that.  Also, the fact he was able to have this recording (what a idiot) "gaged" rapidly enough after his screwup speaks volumes  about the corruption in the power structure. This is a guy who is accustomed to being able to bend the rules severely and get away with it IMO.

My gut tell me hes a skunk, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I hope he and the Daughter can get past it even if he's not the greatest person.

[Laura Lee]

NO child should ever be spoken to in such a manner.     If you are pissed...that's fine, but you don't call a child a pig and you don't threaten them either.  All he needed to say was that he was upset with her for not being available to take his call as planned.  That he was disappointed that he could not speak with her and that he missed her.  Instead, he ranted like a crazed lunatic and should be embarrassed by his actions. 

And although this should have remained private and should have been handled by Kim and Alec as adults, he (Alec) may not have realized the damage his actions could have caused to his daughter if it were not broadcasted in such a way.   

I find it strange that he can come out with a book on how fathers should deal with divorce/child custody issues and dealing with them, when he himself some is in need of anger management classes.