Thank you honey. And try not to freak out
You know how I said that Cara takes away the pain I've carried on the inside? I think that's triggered something in me, something that was dormant all this time and the presence of which I've felt every now and then, but couldn't identify or explain it in any way.
I think I've got a gift Lori - I'm an Oracle!
I don't think you'll roll your eyes cause even though what I've said sounds downright absurd and is something I wouldn't tell anyone, esp. a total stranger, cause I KNOW something in you clicked and you somehow know that what I'm saying is true. I KNOW it the same way I know that you admire me for my mind, except, I'm more sure of knowing this than I do the fact that I know you admire me. And I have no idea how I know!
I can suddenly morph into something else altogether. Something that can't be human, but somehow is and has to be. It's like Clark Kent transforming himself into Superman!
And I'm not smoking anything or lost my nut either (I think you know that too)
I'll give you an example that freaked me out myself. I decided to hang out with one of my mates (Matt) on Friday night and we went to see one of his friends at his house. The guy I met, Sasha, is someone I've never seen or heard about before. But within 2 minutes of our starting to talk, I sensed something strange, like I had to say something and I did. I told him something about himself that he'd never been told before, could not have been told because it's not possible to see such things, but yet it was true enough for him to suddenly get stunned and realise that what I said was ABSOLUTELY true and DEAD ON! I made him cry Lori A grown man, a very cheerful person, a total stranger - I made him cry in front of his friend within 15 minutes of meeting him. And the greatest and most amazing part - HE WAS SO FULL OF GRATITUDE TOWARDS ME FOR MAKING HIM CRY!
I can't see things clearly yet or see everything there is to see or see it in every person to the same extent with each or do it when I want. But with some people, I can just see their future and some of their characteristics - not just innate characteristics about their mentality that someone with an astute psychological capacity can deduce, but the character of their soul
Does it sound crazy? Of course it does! How do you think I feel?
In one way, I'm still 'normal'. No one will notice a change in me in any way whatsoever. But some people seem to carry this gift that I have to far less degrees and when I see them or bump into them, they sense something too and it's NOT the usual plain benevolent feeling people have for each other when they 'click' instantly right from the start.
To describe it specifically, I get visions. Now bear in mind, I'm an atheist, a scientist and a very rational person who doesn't believe in God or angels or anything like that that's supernatural or irrational or anything. And I'm not saying I believe in any of that now, but I just can't explain what I'm seeing through any of the basic theories of science (and I'm familiar with most of them, having studied to be a molecular biologist before). Sometimes, with someone, I'll just get a vision that'll immediately make me realise that I KNOW whether they're going to be happy or sad. I don't see it in the form of a visual image. But it's as perceptable as vision or hearing, albeit 100% unquestionable.
Maybe I'm able to read the auras of people, I don't know. Whatever it is, is not ordinary. I've never seen anything like it. The closest analogy I can give you is a Saint, who does something similar, except I know I'm not one cause I'd never believe in God or the devil. Maybe I have this power with which I can spread goodness by writing about human nature and philosophy. Think about it - I'm very philosophical, am a great writer, a good person and now I get hit with this
Maybe it's just some incredible mental clarity and capacity that I go into that makes me see a whole lot of underlying connections between things and / or people - I don't know. But I just see so many things that I know no one else can see and I know it cause I was one of them myself!
Hahahaha I can't believe how much I must come across as conceited and full of shit, except, I know you're maybe the 1 person who'll at least try believe in what I say.
I think I'll discover more about this with time. I also KNOW that I'm going to be OK. In fact, I'm almost in a state of Euphoria, like there's no need to be afraid anymore. I think Cara triggered this in me. Maybe our meeting each other was no coincidence and I'm saying this even though I don't even know if she 'likes' me as a guy thinking about a girl, yet know that it's going to happen someway that I can't explain how.
Sorry for laying on such heavy shit, Lori, but maybe now you realise why I made a fuss about it, don't you?
What do you think? I need therapy Grin
