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Author Topic: There's Nothing Wrong Being High-Maintenance  (Read 2200 times)
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« on: April 19, 2007, 10:27:25 PM »

There's Nothing Wrong Being High-Maintenance
Noelle Pennyman

Issue date: 4/20/07 Section: Opinion

It's no secret that many don't like a high-maintenance girl. A lot of men don't like dating them and women don't like them (especially if they aren't high-maintenance themselves.)

But what's so wrong with being high-maintenance if it's on your own dime? If the high-maintenance girl doesn't ask for anything from anyone else to maintain the life she wants, then why does she get so much flack for enjoying the better things in life by her standards?

In an AskMen.com article, high-maintenance women were defined as those who require a lot of things whether it's material items, money or affection, in order to be happy. They enjoy looking their best whenever possible and are obsessed with not only their appearance but their grooming as well. Their environment must be in perfect condition.

The article names high-maintenance women as "perfectionists, overachievers, self-centered, and a bit vain."

Speaking from a high-maintenance point of view, I can agree with part of the definition. I do enjoy looking nice (whenever I have the energy), and I do enjoy material things; however, those attributes shouldn't qualify me as being shallow or vain. I can walk out of the house without makeup melting where I stand.

Since when did being a perfectionist become a negative trait? Would it be better if a person didn't care how they looked or performed in life? Granted, there are extremes to being a perfectionist, but there are worse qualities a person can have.

For the men who don't like dating high-maintenance girls, I find it difficult to understand why they are complaining. They get a gorgeous woman on their arm and they get to reap the benefits of being with her.

I highly doubt those men are a walk in the park to be with either. Would they rather date a girl who's a drug addict or likes to cheat?

I'm high-maintenance but I also pay for everything I have. Whether it's clothes, purses, makeup or perfume, I pay for it all.

In the same article, it claims that high-maintenance women are hard to shop for and tend to return gifts they receive. First of all, no one can say that they've liked every single gift they have received. Remember that ugly sweater hidden in the closet from grandma?

If high-maintenance women are so hard to shop for, here's a tip: Buy a gift card! No one can fail with a gift card, unless they get it from Home Depot. Then it's their fault because, seriously, a gift card from Home Depot?

We might take a little longer to get ready and spend a little more time in the mall then the girl who likes to use blush for eye shadow, but that's just the sacrifice a person has to make to be with them.

There's always going to be something about a person that you don't care for. The purpose of a relationship is to love them in spite of the fact.

With all the things a person could be, I would rather date a high-maintenance guy, as long as he doesn't ask to borrow my lip gloss.
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« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2007, 03:56:25 AM »

As long as a person is high maintainance on their own dime, that's fine. Shopping around to find someone to support your spending habit is another story, that's called being a golddigger (I had another word in mind).

Being emotionally high maintainance is worse because it's always on someone else's dime.

Emotionally high maintainance people are draining and eventually end up alone. I always find it puzzling when a needy or constantly overwraught person gets dumped and can't understand why.

It's always the same thing: "if he/she really loved me they would have stayed".

My answer is always the same: "Someone can love you and not like you anymore".
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« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2007, 06:38:50 AM »

None of us want to be with a slob. Personally, I can't stand it when I see women constantly wearing joggers, hair tied back, no make up, etc. There is nothing wrong with looking your best and feeling your best.

PB
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« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2007, 07:42:12 AM »

High maintenance and looking good are two different things.
My wife is low to medium maintenance and she looks after herself well.
She has the manicures, pedicures and facials but not at the expense of the grocery money
To me a high maintenance woman believes the world should revolve around her irrespective.
A DIVA so to speak.
I also don't like china dolls, I like my woman mentally strong and rational.
Men like REAL WORLD WOMAN!
My 5 cents worth  Smiley
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« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2007, 08:11:36 AM »

its not about money judi...i'll spend the stupid $ and buy her what she needs ..its about time...

lets say i'm supposed to take my girl out at 7 pm..we have dinner reservations for 8

if i walk into your place at 7:15 i expect you to be ready to leave...none of that gimme 5 more mins ie 1/2 hr and then abother 10 searching for the perfect shoe..

ooo that really pisses me off.. Angry
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« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2007, 05:01:03 PM »

None of us want to be with a slob. Personally, I can't stand it when I see women constantly wearing joggers, hair tied back, no make up, etc. There is nothing wrong with looking your best and feeling your best.

PB

that's me on my way to the gym, though.
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« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2007, 05:28:50 PM »

Okay I'll try this one last time. Seems I got someone posting from my account some things I would never post so anyway, High Maintenence is good if you can afford to do it yourself and don't expect someone else to pick up the tab. I'm high maintenance and I'm worth it, but I do it on my own dime. I also need alot of attention from my significant other, which isn't a bad thing. I give them plenty of attention as well.
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« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2007, 05:36:52 PM »

My post is gone too, LOL!

I was wrong, it's on another thread. Sorry.
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« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2007, 06:01:40 PM »

My post is gone too, LOL!

I was wrong, it's on another thread. Sorry.

Haha! Remind me never to let you operate on me or anything Grin
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« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2007, 06:21:24 PM »

Haha! Remind me never to let you operate on me or anything Grin

"Have you seen my keys?" Smiley
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« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2007, 06:22:14 PM »

the problem is that most (99.9999% and that is a real scientific number) women that are high maintenance are not doing it off their own dime.
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« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2007, 06:35:30 PM »

the problem is that most (99.9999% and that is a real scientific number) women that are high maintenance are not doing it off their own dime.

I think you're way off there Migs, no offence.

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« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2007, 09:46:24 PM »

I think you're way off there Migs, no offence.


Migs needs to expand his social milieu a bit. The only women he knows are those who dance around poles,
...and they're guaranteed to extract the cash from his wallet, ...unless they're not doing it right.  Wink
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« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2007, 12:08:51 PM »

Migs needs to expand his social milieu a bit.

Well with such a high percentage given by him it's obvious his experiences have been negative. For myself, I am somewhat high maintenence, and all on my own dollar, my preference and at this stage of life a non-issue to do so. I think in most cases whether one looks for someone to fund their 'high maintenence lifestyle' is indicative of their levels of expendable income.
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« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2007, 01:01:04 PM »

Migs needs to expand his social milieu a bit. The only women he knows are those who dance around poles,
...and they're guaranteed to extract the cash from his wallet, ...unless they're not doing it right.  Wink

Low blow  Angry
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« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2007, 01:08:27 PM »

the best looking girls look great without makeup or fancy clothes

E
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« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2007, 01:57:58 PM »

Low blow  Angry

If it means anything to you, I think you're cool as hell Wink

75% of the time  Cheesy
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« Reply #17 on: April 22, 2007, 02:06:39 PM »

the best looking girls look great without makeup or fancy clothes

E

true.
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« Reply #18 on: April 22, 2007, 04:24:52 PM »

Look at the words - HIGH MAINTENANCE. To make an analogy, would you buy a car that is "High Maintenance?" NO!!! Who wants something that requires so much attention, time, money, and effort? Thats what comes to my mind when I hear a woman say that she is high maintenance. Someone here made a distinction between materialistic high maintenance women and emotionally needy high maintenance women. There is a thin line between the two. Usually high maintenance women are self centered, selfish, and emotionally unstable. They want all attention to be focused on them at all times. To me the most beautiful women are the ones who don't have to wear make up and fancy clothes to look good.
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« Reply #19 on: April 22, 2007, 05:59:17 PM »

Look at the words - HIGH MAINTENANCE. To make an analogy, would you buy a car that is "High Maintenance?" NO!!! Who wants something that requires so much attention, time, money, and effort? Thats what comes to my mind when I hear a woman say that she is high maintenance. Someone here made a distinction between materialistic high maintenance women and emotionally needy high maintenance women. There is a thin line between the two. Usually high maintenance women are self centered, selfish, and emotionally unstable. They want all attention to be focused on them at all times. To me the most beautiful women are the ones who don't have to wear make up and fancy clothes to look good.

hear hear!
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« Reply #20 on: April 23, 2007, 04:09:18 AM »

I think it can depend on what one considers high maintenence.

You guys are saying you don't like high maintenence, but something tells me your first preference in women may not be the 220lb, acne face, wrinkled, dry frizzy hair female wearing a trash bag Wink

High maintenence, in my perception, includes diet/training, haircare, skincare et al. A very low percentage of women can look really beautiful while never dieting, exercising, skincare, nice clothes, hair or some type of effort. The rest of us must work at it Grin

I, and I would bet most girls here, don't see high maintenence as being some air headed moron who piles on a shovel of makeup to go the store, or is fantatical about appearence, just someone who puts in time and effort to look decent.
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« Reply #21 on: April 23, 2007, 06:20:53 AM »

I think it can depend on what one considers high maintenence.

You guys are saying you don't like high maintenence, but something tells me your first preference in women may not be the 220lb, acne face, wrinkled, dry frizzy hair female wearing a trash bag Wink

High maintenence, in my perception, includes diet/training, haircare, skincare et al. A very low percentage of women can look really beautiful while never dieting, exercising, skincare, nice clothes, hair or some type of effort. The rest of us must work at it Grin

I, and I would bet most girls here, don't see high maintenence as being some air headed moron who piles on a shovel of makeup to go the store, or is fantatical about appearence, just someone who puts in time and effort to look decent.

Here is where the difference in what women say and what men hear comes into play. ( Grin )  Your definition is diet/training, general hygiene and some effort in looking put together.  High-Maintenance for men regarding women, generally entails expensive jewelry, prada shoes, DG sunglasses weekly $100 mani/pedi's, facials spa treatments, only high end restaurants with luxury cars etc.  I don't wnat a sloppy looking woman, i want one that takes pride in there self and their looks, without having to be top shelf material all the time.
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« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2007, 07:14:01 AM »

I think it can depend on what one considers high maintenence.

You guys are saying you don't like high maintenence, but something tells me your first preference in women may not be the 220lb, acne face, wrinkled, dry frizzy hair female wearing a trash bag Wink


Is there anyone around here that looks like that Huh  I'm trying to get a visual.  Someone have any pics?
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« Reply #23 on: April 23, 2007, 07:23:46 AM »

Here is where the difference in what women say and what men hear comes into play. ( Grin )  Your definition is diet/training, general hygiene and some effort in looking put together.  High-Maintenance for men regarding women, generally entails expensive jewelry, prada shoes, DG sunglasses weekly $100 mani/pedi's, facials spa treatments, only high end restaurants with luxury cars etc.  I don't wnat a sloppy looking woman, i want one that takes pride in there self and their looks, without having to be top shelf material all the time.
Ditto. You took the words out of my mouth.
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« Reply #24 on: April 23, 2007, 07:28:30 AM »

Here is where the difference in what women say and what men hear comes into play. ( Grin )  Your definition is diet/training, general hygiene and some effort in looking put together.  High-Maintenance for men regarding women, generally entails expensive jewelry, prada shoes, DG sunglasses weekly $100 mani/pedi's, facials spa treatments, only high end restaurants with luxury cars etc.  I don't wnat a sloppy looking woman, i want one that takes pride in there self and their looks, without having to be top shelf material all the time.

That's all $$$ maintenance related and I agree.  But there is also the emotional/drama queens that suck the life out of you.  They are not happy unless there is some crisis that you have to solve for them. 
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