Are You A Republican? (Volume 2)

[Purge_WTF]

You Might Be a Republican If...
(courtesy Enid Goldstein/KNRC, Denver)


1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock,
which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for
your "recovery".

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth
achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to believe that the US should get out of
the UN, and that our highest national priority is
enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4. You have to believe that government should stay out
of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught
having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

5. You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as
it makes a profit.

6. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as
you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

7. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your
workers and moving their jobs to India.

8. You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted
with decisions about her own body, but that large
multi-national corporations can make decisions
affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

9. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus
loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS
victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10. You hate the ACLU for representing convicted
felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out
Oliver North.

11. You have to believe that the best way to encourage
military morale is to praise the troops overseas while
cutting their VA benefits.

12. You believe that group sex and drug use are
degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for
governor of California as a Republican.

13. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out
of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have
condoms they won't have sex.

14. You have to believe that the best way to fight
terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand
their cooperation and money.

15. You have to believe that government medicine is
wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have
your best interests at heart.

16. You have to believe that providing health care to
all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism personified.

17. You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and
global warming are "junk science", but Creationism
should be taught in schools.

18. You have to believe that waging war with no exit
strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

19. You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when
Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war
on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with
him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find
Bin Laden" diversion.

20. You believe that government should restrict itself
to just the powers named in the Constitution, which
includes banning gay marriages and censoring the
internet.

21. You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while
those of Republicans are a "private matter".

22. You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was
right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional
9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.

23. You support state rights, which means Ashcroft
telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he
will allow them to have.

24. You have to believe that what Clinton did in the
1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did
decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".

25. You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because
it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

26. Government should relax regulation of Big Business
and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana
to relieve the pain of illness.

27. And, if you are Bill Janklow, speed limits and stop signs
are for OTHER people, not for yourself.

[Dos Equis]

You Might Be A Liberal If . . .
(courtesy of Beach Bum  )

1.  You are a moral skeptic, believe in moral relativism, and situational ethics.

2.  You believe the government, not hard work, is the key to helping people achieve success.

3.  You believe that the U.S. should negotiate with terrorists. 

4.  You believe the government should stay out of people's private lives, but at the same time that the government should endorse private behavior and believe anyone with a contrary opinion is a bigot. 

5.  You believe a company or individual can profit, but not too much, or those profits must be taken away by the government. 

6.  You believe people with religious viewpoints have no voice in the public sector, the public sector should be cleansed of all religious influences, and people with religious viewpoints should not participate in the political process. 

7.  The government must force employers to pay "living wages," regardless of how this might affect small business and consumers. 

8.  You dehumanize the baby in the abortion issue, always referring to the baby as a "fetus," and completely ignore the fact an unborn baby is involved in the abortion debate.     

9.  You believe anyone who opposes the homosexual lifestyle choice is a bigot and "hates" homosexuals. 

10.  You have no trouble with the ACLU representing and defending pedophiles, including NAMBLA.

11.  You show your support for the troops by highlighting every negative story about our service members and tell the family members of those who have died that their lives were "wasted." 

12.  You have no problem with a mayor who has an affair with his campaign manager's wife, a married governor who has a homosexual affair, and a president who gets a blow job in the oval office from a White House intern,     

13.  You believe it is wise to give condoms to thirteen-year-olds.

14.  You believe the best way to fight terrorism is to negotiate with terrorists.

15.  You believe socialized medicine is the answer to all our healthcare problems. 

16.   You have no regard for the enormous tax implications of socialized healthcare and have learned nothing from the significant problems in places like Canada. 

17.  You completely ignore the significant holes in Darwinism. 

18.  You believe publicly setting a firm deadline for troop withdrawal in Iraq is A-Okay and will not endanger the lives of our troops and embolden the terrorists. 

19.  You believe Iraq and the U.S. committed a war crime by Iraq trying and executing Saddam.       

20.  You believe the Constitution is a "living document" that means whatever some judge says it means based on the flavor of the day, which includes giving pedophiles unfettered access to child porn. 

21.  You justify affairs by Democrats (Newsome, Clinton et al.), and highlight and condemn affairs by Republicans. 

22.  You believe partisan witch hunts trump national security. 

23.  You support states' rights, so long as those rights are consistent with a liberal agenda. 

24.  You believe Clinton dodging the draft is irrelevant, but Bush snorting coke disqualifies him from public office, when both incidents occurred decades ago.

25.  You never met a tax increase you didn't like.   

There is more, but I'll stop here . . .   

[Camel Jockey]

I'll add to Purge's list.

28. You're a fucking hypocrite (Teh party of god) 

[ieffinhatecardio]

You Might Be a Republican If...
(courtesy Enid Goldstein/KNRC, Denver)


1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock,
which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for
your "recovery".

. You have to believe that government should stay out
of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught
having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

6. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as
you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

9. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus
loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS
victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10. You hate the ACLU for representing convicted
felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out
Oliver North.

11. You have to believe that the best way to encourage
military morale is to praise the troops overseas while
cutting their VA benefits.

12. You believe that group sex and drug use are
degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for
governor of California as a Republican.

13. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out
of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have
condoms they won't have sex.

17. You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and
global warming are "junk science", but Creationism
should be taught in schools.

18. You have to believe that waging war with no exit
strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

19. You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when
Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war
on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with
him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find
Bin Laden" diversion.

21. You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while
those of Republicans are a "private matter".

26. Government should relax regulation of Big Business
and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana
to relieve the pain of illness.

27. And, if you are Bill Janklow, speed limits and stop signs
are for OTHER people, not for yourself.

These were the best ones. Excellent post. 

You might want to add one for all those hate filled conservatives that condone the killing of anyone with different views than they have or the ones that tell anyone that criticizes the US to "move if you don't like it here".

[Mr. Intenseone]

You Might Be A Liberal If . . .
(courtesy of Beach Bum  )

1.  You are a moral skeptic, believe in moral relativism, and situational ethics.

2.  You believe the government, not hard work, is the key to helping people achieve success.

3.  You believe that the U.S. should negotiate with terrorists. 

4.  You believe the government should stay out of people's private lives, but at the same time that the government should endorse private behavior and believe anyone with a contrary opinion is a bigot. 

5.  You believe a company or individual can profit, but not too much, or those profits must be taken away by the government. 

6.  You believe people with religious viewpoints have no voice in the public sector, the public sector should be cleansed of all religious influences, and people with religious viewpoints should not participate in the political process. 

7.  The government must force employers to pay "living wages," regardless of how this might affect small business and consumers. 

8.  You dehumanize the baby in the abortion issue, always referring to the baby as a "fetus," and completely ignore the fact an unborn baby is involved in the abortion debate.     

9.  You believe anyone who opposes the homosexual lifestyle choice is a bigot and "hates" homosexuals. 

10.  You have no trouble with the ACLU representing and defending pedophiles, including NAMBLA.

11.  You show your support for the troops by highlighting every negative story about our service members and tell the family members of those who have died that their lives were "wasted." 

12.  You have no problem with a mayor who has an affair with his campaign manager's wife, a married governor who has a homosexual affair, and a president who gets a blow job in the oval office from a White House intern,     

13.  You believe it is wise to give condoms to thirteen-year-olds.

14.  You believe the best way to fight terrorism is to negotiate with terrorists.

15.  You believe socialized medicine is the answer to all our healthcare problems. 

16.   You have no regard for the enormous tax implications of socialized healthcare and have learned nothing from the significant problems in places like Canada. 

17.  You completely ignore the significant holes in Darwinism. 

18.  You believe publicly setting a firm deadline for troop withdrawal in Iraq is A-Okay and will not endanger the lives of our troops and embolden the terrorists. 

19.  You believe Iraq and the U.S. committed a war crime by Iraq trying and executing Saddam.       

20.  You believe the Constitution is a "living document" that means whatever some judge says it means based on the flavor of the day, which includes giving pedophiles unfettered access to child porn. 

21.  You justify affairs by Democrats (Newsome, Clinton et al.), and highlight and condemn affairs by Republicans. 

22.  You believe partisan witch hunts trump national security. 

23.  You support states' rights, so long as those rights are consistent with a liberal agenda. 

24.  You believe Clinton dodging the draft is irrelevant, but Bush snorting coke disqualifies him from public office, when both incidents occurred decades ago.

25.  You never met a tax increase you didn't like.   

There is more, but I'll stop here . . .   

Nice.........and very true!

[Dos Equis]

Nice.........and very true!

Thanks mang.   

[Straw Man]

you are "both" the same thing

"you" just don't realize it

[gcb]

You might be brainwashed if:

1. You believe everything your side says.

2. Make excuses for all the mistakes your side make.

[Mr. Intenseone]

You might be brainwashed if:

1. You believe everything your side says.

2. Make excuses for all the mistakes your side make.

So you admit your brainwashed..........goo d for you, it's a start !

[gcb]

Nah, I just don't like either side. The party in government just gets the most flak because, well ... thier in government.

[Mr. Intenseone]

Nah, I just don't like either side. The party in government just gets the most flak because, well ... thier in government.

Ha.........I agree !

[gcb]

Nooooooooo - this isn't happening

[gtbro1]

  You might be a republican if:

   1) You are a fucking idiot
   2)  You suck


   





     hope this helps.

[GroinkTropin]

You might be brainwashed if:

1. You believe everything your side says.

2. Make excuses for all the mistakes your side make.

+1

[w8tlftr]

  You might be a republican if:

   1) You are a fucking idiot
   2)  You suck

     hope this helps.

 

[240 is Back]

This list did nothing for me.

holy crap, I am honestly losing interests in politics.  I watched sports and played guitar all week... couldn't stomach MSNBC or FOX. 

Far right folks - you guys are cowards and in denial.

Far left folks - you don't understand the energy needs for war - and you sure wouldn't pay $17 a gallon for gas to leave iraq.


I'd like to invite both groups of uneducated clods to do what I'll be doing - nothing

The larger US interests are at work to 1) make their own money, and 2) put a lot of oil and position in US hands to keep our economy intact.

I'm off to see the end of the utah/golden state game. 

[OzmO]

This list did nothing for me.

holy crap, I am honestly losing interests in politics.  I watched sports and played guitar all week... couldn't stomach MSNBC or FOX. 

Far right folks - you guys are cowards and in denial.

Far left folks - you don't understand the energy needs for war - and you sure wouldn't pay $17 a gallon for gas to leave iraq.


I'd like to invite both groups of uneducated clods to do what I'll be doing - nothing

The larger US interests are at work to 1) make their own money, and 2) put a lot of oil and position in US hands to keep our economy intact.

I'm off to see the end of the utah/golden state game. 

I did that same.......

F-ing jazz.

[gtbro1]

 

[Old_Rooster]

You Might Be a Republican If...
(courtesy Enid Goldstein/KNRC, Denver)


1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock,
which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for
your "recovery".

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth
achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to believe that the US should get out of
the UN, and that our highest national priority is
enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4. You have to believe that government should stay out
of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught
having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

5. You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as
it makes a profit.

6. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as
you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

7. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your
workers and moving their jobs to India.

8. You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted
with decisions about her own body, but that large
multi-national corporations can make decisions
affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

9. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus
loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS
victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10. You hate the ACLU for representing convicted
felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out
Oliver North.

11. You have to believe that the best way to encourage
military morale is to praise the troops overseas while
cutting their VA benefits.

12. You believe that group sex and drug use are
degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for
governor of California as a Republican.

13. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out
of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have
condoms they won't have sex.

14. You have to believe that the best way to fight
terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand
their cooperation and money.

15. You have to believe that government medicine is
wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have
your best interests at heart.

16. You have to believe that providing health care to
all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism personified.

17. You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and
global warming are "junk science", but Creationism
should be taught in schools.

18. You have to believe that waging war with no exit
strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

19. You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when
Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war
on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with
him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find
Bin Laden" diversion.

20. You believe that government should restrict itself
to just the powers named in the Constitution, which
includes banning gay marriages and censoring the
internet.

21. You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while
those of Republicans are a "private matter".

22. You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was
right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional
9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.

23. You support state rights, which means Ashcroft
telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he
will allow them to have.

24. You have to believe that what Clinton did in the
1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did
decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".

25. You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because
it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

26. Government should relax regulation of Big Business
and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana
to relieve the pain of illness.

27. And, if you are Bill Janklow, speed limits and stop signs
are for OTHER people, not for yourself.

I believe in all of that!

[w8tlftr]

 

[Decker]

19.  You believe Iraq and the U.S. committed a war crime by Iraq trying and executing Saddam.   

No no.  The invasion is the ongoing war crime.

[w8tlftr]

19.  You believe Iraq and the U.S. committed a war crime by Iraq trying and executing Saddam.   

No no.  The invasion is the ongoing war crime.

And yet no one has arrested Bush and Co. for this alleged crime.

Maybe the UN can do it? What did Dave Chappelle (Black President Bush) say?

"UN, you have a problem with that? You know what you should do? You should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh!! Wait a minute! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up! That's what I'd do if I didn't have no army. I would shut the fuck up. [speaks each word into a different microphone] Shut. The. Fuck. Up!! That's right!"

 

[Decker]

...I'd like to invite both groups of uneducated clods to do what I'll be doing - nothing

.... 

In your thinking, you are building traction by going backward to move forward.

Are the others clods because they are not 'at' your current cognitive impasse?

[Decker]

And yet no one has arrested Bush and Co. for this alleged crime.

Maybe the UN can do it? What did Dave Chappelle (Black President Bush) say?

"UN, you have a problem with that? You know what you should do? You should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh!! Wait a minute! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up! That's what I'd do if I didn't have no army. I would shut the fuck up. [speaks each word into a different microphone] Shut. The. Fuck. Up!! That's right!"

 

That is amusing.  I've heard good things about Chapelle.  I don't have cable tv so I haven't seen his work. 

But the UN is the best geopolitical organization we have for keeping international peace in all its aspects.

My allegations against the president are substantial. 

I have yet to see anyone counter the argument that the invasion is illegal.

[headhuntersix]

Based on what.....Congress went along with the use of force. I guess if no war is declared..then your technically right.