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Author Topic: Brutal Owning at Walmart  (Read 2414 times)

Board_SHERIF

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Brutal Owning at Walmart
« on: May 12, 2007, 04:43:01 PM »
I just finished an 18 hour shift "owning" people on GetBig. My white Haynes Undershirt was covered in  Pizza,coffee,dough nut,chocolate milk, and sweat stains.  I went to my bedroom and opened the top drawer of my childhood bedroom set that my parents let me keep, all 38 of my white Haynes Undershirts were in the dirty laundry - time to go out !

I jumped in my 1986 K car and drove down to Walmart.  I walked into Walmart and was greeted with "Hey Squadfather back for some more 10lbs bags of chicken ?" I replied "Not today tiger, just need some new threads". I made my way to the mens clothing section and saw the last package of white Haynes Undershirts, "Damn its a medium size !" I flagged down a 15 year old female employee and asked her to check in the back for more shirts. She said "Sir there is a three pack of undershirts right on the shelf". I quickly lost my patience and yelled in her face "What the Fuck is your problem you little skinny bitch ?", She looked puzzled and I continued my owning - "Are you implying I am a fucking medium bitch ? - look at these !" I flexed my nearly 18 inch arms in her face ! Problem was I tucked my white Haynes Undershirt into my grey track pants which showcased  my 48 inch waist ! oh shit ! she stared at my obese belly and not at my 18 inch pythons.  I had to get out of there ! I said "forget it bitch" and quickly walked to the checkout counter with my belly jiggling.

I scooped up a box of Krispy Kreemes and 6-pack of cola, paid and drove home.  Finally I was back in my one bedroom apartment with my best friends - my pc and Getbig...life is good...
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Camel Jockey

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2007, 04:45:23 PM »
Lame attempt..

Sarcasm's supposed ownings are actually funny. While you imitation just isn't the real McCoy.

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Board_SHERIF

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2007, 04:46:44 PM »
Quote from: Camel  Jockey on May 12, 2007, 04:45:23 PM
Lame attempt..

Sarcasm's supposed ownings are actually funny. While you imitation just isn't the real McCoy.



Ok Tiger  :'(
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CQ

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2007, 04:50:30 PM »
Quote from: Board_SHERIF on May 12, 2007, 04:46:44 PM
Ok Tiger  :'(

I will give you an A for effort though!

But yes, the attempt fell flat :-\
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Board_SHERIF

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2007, 04:54:19 PM »
Quote from: CQ on May 12, 2007, 04:50:30 PM
I will give you an A for effort though!

But yes, the attempt fell flat :-\

It will be good enough for FatFather to get angry etc...and have a chubby meltdown....
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CQ

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2007, 04:56:26 PM »
Quote from: Board_SHERIF on May 12, 2007, 04:54:19 PM
It will be good enough for FatFather to get angry etc...and have a chubby meltdown....

Cool.

Next time I suggest more brevity, and possibly paragraph breakdowns 8)

Edit: I see you have split it up a bit. Good work!
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Board_SHERIF

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2007, 04:57:12 PM »
Quote from: CQ on May 12, 2007, 04:56:26 PM
Cool.

Next time I suggest more brevity, and possibly paragraph breakdowns 8)

Feel free to edit it  ;)
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Camel Jockey

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2007, 04:58:11 PM »
Quote from: Board_SHERIF on May 12, 2007, 04:46:44 PM
Ok Tiger  :'(

Mine is better:

So I wake up in the morning and drinking a shake with 2 scoops of whey. After a 30 minute owning session of internet posers with brutal 12.75 inch arms I was gonna prepare my usual oatmeal. I then remembered that today = satuday, which just happens to be CHEAT DAY! So I drive down to the local McDonalds and order 4 Egg McMuffins. Some mexican was ringing me up and just as he was punching the keys on the register his sleeves rolled upwards and I noticed his brutal 11 inch arms. As he told me the total and I summoned my most manliest voice and said "HEY TIGER DID YOU GET THOSE PYTHONS BY CURLING THE 5 POUND MOP HANDLE?" Once his face rang up with confusion I knew he was demoralized beyond belief and that he'd probably suffer from clynical depression for the rest of his life. I payed and picked up my McMuffins and before I walked out, I shouted "HEY BIGMAN WANNA FIX UP MY MOM'S GARDEN? I'LL PAY YOU IN CORONAS!!" Hahaha This line was even more demoralizing, for it didn't focus on his puny arms, but his ethnicity. Now he'll probably hate himself because he's a mexican ahahaha!
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canadaphiliac

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2007, 05:00:14 PM »
If Squadfather were anything like Old Rooster, he would have tried propositioning that employee. Just an observation.
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Board_SHERIF

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2007, 05:01:30 PM »
Quote from: canadaphiliac on May 12, 2007, 05:00:14 PM
If Squadfather were anything like Old Rooster, he would have tried propositioning that employee. Just an observation.

LOL - yes true, but I would not resort to that....
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Camel Jockey

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2007, 05:04:39 PM »
Quote from: garraeth on May 12, 2007, 04:59:10 PM
...seriously...did you guys learn about line breaks in school?

Do you want indents too?  ::)
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SirTraps

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2007, 05:07:50 PM »
CQ, are there any pics of you anywhere ?  ;)
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davidpaul

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2007, 05:33:40 PM »
Sirtraps any pics of you anywhere? ;)
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SirTraps

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2007, 05:39:30 PM »
 
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davidpaul

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2007, 05:41:05 PM »
look big there man.
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SirTraps

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2007, 05:43:44 PM »
Just a bulking up phase, ill start cardio and coconut oil with some carnitine next month.
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Board_SHERIF

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2007, 06:17:46 PM »
Quote from: SirTraps on May 12, 2007, 05:43:44 PM
Just a bulking up phase, ill start cardio and coconut oil with some carnitine next month.

just like fatfather  ;)
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bassmaster

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2007, 07:16:29 PM »
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mdgkmg

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2007, 08:55:06 PM »
ok here's fatfather for ya

so its sunday and about noon i'm ready to prepare my 12th meal of the day, turkey on rye with a little mustard and mayo. but today is a day to praise.

so i jump in my ford(f*cked over rebuilt dodge) flex my 13 inch python and check it out in the rearview. then a chest shot and i realized i forgot to put on a bra. so i head back in grab a DD and put it on to cover up my "safety fat". get back in the car flex my guns again. then i head down to the krispy kreme stand for my praising time.

i go to order 3 dozen donuts and a half gallon of choco milk, and i was served by canadian with 12 inch arms. so i ask him hey where do train? he said "i don't its lifting orders for fatasses like you that builds guns like these". then he laughed and walked away. man did i own him.


lame attempt at being the fatfather but its an attempt at least. and a slight throw in of other posts. hope ya get a good laugh cuz my mind ain't real creative right now.
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gtbro1

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #19 on: May 12, 2007, 11:10:34 PM »
 :-\
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Mr. Cortisol

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #20 on: May 13, 2007, 01:20:01 AM »
Board_SHERYL,


Your story was crap.
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Addicted to the Steal

UK Gold

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Re: Brutal Owning at Walmart
« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2007, 02:45:35 AM »
Quote from: mdgkmg on May 12, 2007, 08:55:06 PM
i go to order 3 dozen donuts and a half gallon of choco milk, and i was served by canadian with 12 inch arms. so i ask him hey where do train? he said "i don't its lifting orders for fatasses like you that builds guns like these". then he laughed and walked away. man did i own him.


That made me laugh!
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