Here's a method that I use when Stateside...
I put on my thickest Irish brogue, head straight to the DJ box and ask to use the microphone claiming that I have to make an announcement... if you look serious and are polite the DJ will turn down/off the music:
"Eh... hello everybody... sorry to interrupt your evening... (awkward pause... glance at DJ... look around the room of befuddled faces). Not sure how you do this over here, but where I come from... back in Oireland, it's customary to introduce yourself when you're new in town... (another awkward pause, bit of giggling from audience) My name is Luke... staying with my cousins (mention cousins name)... really enjoying myself here in the States, so thank you all for that... (long awkward pause, one guy claps a couple of times but stops when no one else joins in). Thank you, thank you all very much."
Pass the mic back to the DJ... step away in an awkward, self-conscious manner while people throughout the bar/club stifle a laugh.
Now this is the trick... this is the bit that seals the deal.
Just before the DJ turns the music back on... grab the mic back and say the following.
"Oh... forgot to mention, I'm neither married nor bethroed and am available for courting... (awkward pause) if there might be any eligible young ladies who might be..." (trail off, wave and walk away awkwardly)
Works every time.
Just takes about 20 minutes before some horny girl walks over to tell you how much she appreciated your honesty/openness/quaintness/politeness/whatever.... translation: "Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!"
The Luke
