Author Topic: Was I wrong? Part II (Read 4267 times)

Hustle Man · « **on:** September 28, 2007, 09:16:08 AM »

Ok I posted a few months ago about my Daughter and her driving lessons well the saga continues. Check this, tell me what you would do or think about this issue.

My daughter has until March to get her "Provisional" drivers license (She can drive alone or with family members and not after midnight until she turns 18 which is next Sept). Well, she uses her mom's (my ex) Van to drive around in most of the time (with her permit she has to have a lic'ed driver >18 in the passenger seat) well she backed into a tree and broke the right rear tail light lense this means she cannot use that vehicle to take her provisional driver's license test with the lense broken (I won't get it fixed my daughter works she can get it fixed besides that, it's not my vehicle) Anyway here is the issue, my fiance' and I both drive manual transmissions and I told her she could use one of our cars to take the test but she refuses to become proficient driving manual transmissions so her mom (my ex) decide that they want me to rent an automatic transmission for her to take her test with. I said NO she needs to learn to drive all the different types of vehicles available to her (why should I rent a car for her to take the test?)

My question to you;

Do you think I am wrong or being to strict for mandating that she learn to drive the different transmission types before she get's her provisonal license even thought she could very well pass the test with her mom's van (keep in mind they refuse to get the van fixed ($80 at the most)? I told her regardless of whether they fix it or not she needs to learn to drive all the vehicles first before she get's her prov lic. And no I am not going to fix the van light she broke it she works she should fix it (I told her when she backs out of the driveway, to watch the trees behind her)

Hustler out!

~flower~ · « **Reply #1 on:** September 28, 2007, 09:29:42 AM »

I don't think you should have to pay to fix the tailight or rent another car for her.

Tell you ex when she gets a ticket for the broken taillight she will be paying that AND having to pay for it to be fixed. (and you won't be paying for the ticket either!!)

Your daughter and ex can come up with the $80 or the car rental money, IMO.

Wait- missed part- I don't think she should have to learn to drive a manual to get her license unless they refuse to fix the van or pay for a rental. If they won't do that, then she'll have to learn to drive manual.

I drive manual. I bought a car that way before I knew how to drive it and so I had to learn!!

My car after that and my current one is a manual too.

Hustle Man · « **Reply #2 on:** September 28, 2007, 09:39:44 AM »

Quote from: ~flower~ on September 28, 2007, 09:29:42 AM

I don't think you should have to pay to fix the tailight or rent another car for her.

Tell you ex when she gets a ticket for the broken taillight she will be paying that AND having to pay for it to be fixed. (and you won't be paying for the ticket either!!)

Your daughter and ex can come up with the $80 or the car rental money, IMO.

Wait- missed part- I don't think she should have to learn to drive a manual to get her license unless they refuse to fix the van or pay for a rental. If they won't do that, then she'll have to learn to drive manual.

I drive manual. I bought a car that way before I knew how to drive it and so I had to learn!! My car after that and my current one is a manual too.

They refuse to get the tail light fixed or they keep putting it off.

My daughter may have to drive one of my vehicles to school in the winter so she needs to learn to drive a manual transmission before I let her drive by herself. BTW I bought a manual tranny before I knew how to drive one too lol liek you I had to learn!

~flower~ · « **Reply #3 on:** September 28, 2007, 09:47:02 AM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 09:39:44 AM

They refuse to get the tail light fixed or they keep putting it off.

My daughter may have to drive one of my vehicles to school in the winter so she needs to learn to drive a manual transmission before I let her drive by herself. BTW I bought a manual tranny before I knew how to drive one too lol liek you I had to learn!

If they refuse or don't get it fixed and won't pay for a rental (they could fix the taillight instead of getting a rental!) then she'll have to learn to drive a standard.

Or she can get a bus pass!!

knny187 · « **Reply #4 on:** September 28, 2007, 10:14:54 AM »

Question.....

if your daughter backed up your vehicle & broke a tail light.....would the ex pay for it? I seriously doubt it..so no....do not pay for it.

Ok...here's my thoughts on this. Driving is a privilege...it's not a right. For your daughter...it's a start of responsibility for herself. You guys (you & your ex) have vehicles she can borrow OR she can get her own. If she doesn't want to use one of your vehicles...then she doesn't want her drivers license bad enough.

When I was growing up....I taught myself how to drive & bought my own piece of shit truck with a manual transmission. It was something I wanted bad enough & when it came to obstacles...I eliminated them. Now...it's not because I'm a guy....cuz my sister was the same way. Although, she borrow my parents car to learn (manual transmission) they were very happy she bought a reliable beater with a auto transmission which my father helped her find.

Otherwise....if she doesn't have a job that pays enough...she needs to take what is offered to her & not be so picky.

Here in Ca....you can drive on campus & tell who the students are....& who the teachers are. The parents out here give their kids everything & the kids don't give two shits when they back over or run into objects.

Princess L · « **Reply #5 on:** September 28, 2007, 10:49:02 AM »

IMO it's your duty as a father to teach her how to drive stick. It's just one of those father - daughter things that must be done. There are too few of "those moments" left in your lives. Trust me

she will thank you (someday)

Hustle Man · « **Reply #6 on:** September 28, 2007, 10:58:15 AM »

Quote from: Princess L on September 28, 2007, 10:49:02 AM

IMO it's your duty as a father to teach her how to drive stick. It's just one of those father - daughter things that must be done. There are too few of "those moments" left in your lives. Trust me she will thank you (someday)

Oh yes I have made it a daily requirement for her to get on the road with me so I can instruct but she is very reluctant however she is getting there and understands that I will not budge on this.

She get's frustrated with the multi-tasking required to drive a manual transmission lol! What a sight, I should video the lessons LMAO!

Princess L · « **Reply #7 on:** September 28, 2007, 11:23:49 AM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 10:58:15 AM

Oh yes I have made it a daily requirement for her to get on the road with me so I can instruct but she is very reluctant however she is getting there and understands that I will not budge on this.

She get's frustrated with the multi-tasking required to drive a manual transmission lol! What a sight, I should video the lessons LMAO!

My dad’s stipulation for owning a car was that I had to know how to change the oil and change a flat along with paying the insurance; so I took auto shop (only girl in the class)

(and only 1 of 2 to get an A).

I was a tenacious little brat and made damn sure my drivers test was scheduled on my 16th birthday. Passed it with flying colors and went out that night and bought a car from a private owner. WTF??? Here’s a 16 year old girl with a couple of her buddies buying a car – No adult. I can’t believe the seller got away with that. Got home later with my hot wheels and dad was PISSED. I was only able to keep it for a week or so until he found something more suitable for a girl in high school.

Trust me! She'll thank you one day~
just like I am

Thanks Dad!
(RIP)

Laura Lee · « **Reply #8 on:** September 28, 2007, 11:32:08 AM »

I agree with Flower and Knny. Driving is a privilege and not "owed" to your daughter. She needs to own up to the responsibilities that come with achieving a license and that is to repair YOUR own mistakes (accidents). Your ex should make her pay for the damages and tell her that she cannot take the test UNTIL this damage is fixed. Yes, your ex will end up with a ticket and what does she think she's going to do with it? Hand it to you to pay? I think not!

When I first got my license I took my mothers car out to work one night and ended up lost. I had to turn around in someone's yard and I banged into a pole. She made me pay for the damages before ever using the vehicle again. It's part of having such a privilege and being responsible.

As far as teaching your daughter to drive a stick, no, I wouldn't push it. I think she should know how to in case of such issues as this one, but if she refuses....then so be it. When she's ready to learn...she'll ask.

~flower~ · « **Reply #9 on:** September 28, 2007, 11:45:41 AM »

Now I can obviously drive a standard without thinking about it, but when I first learned, lol!!! I HATED coming to a light and wondering if it was going to turn red before I got there and then I was going to have to stop and then try and get going again without stalling! When do I put it in what gear? And watching the rpm instead of the road! I was in tears and ready to give the car up quite a few times!! I still had my other car on lease so I had 1 or 2 months to learn how to drive it. It was a Honda Accord EX and it was NICE!! It had 2300 miles on it and I got it for a steal because it was used, but to me it was brand new, which is why I bought it even though it was a stick. It shifted like buttah!! My RAV4 is not as smooth.

I remember once I stalled and these 2 guys then yelled at me to learn how to drive! I flipped them off and told them to kiss my ass it was a stick!! (I had gotten going again pretty quick, I guess it wasn't fast enough for them

) And hills

Now I amuse myself by not using the brake when stopped and doing a back and forth thing!!

How to Drive a Car with Manual Transmission
http://www.ehow.com/how_3234_drive-car-with.html

Hustle Man · « **Reply #10 on:** September 28, 2007, 11:57:02 AM »

Quote from: Princess L on September 28, 2007, 11:23:49 AM

My dad’s stipulation for owning a car was that I had to know how to change the oil and change a flat along with paying the insurance;

Same applies here and she knows how to change the oil, brakes, spark plugs etc. but she also needs to be able to drive each vehicle that is available to her, IMO! I will not rent a car for her to take the test with!

Quote from: ~flower~ on September 28, 2007, 11:45:41 AM

Now I can obviously drive a standard without thinking about it, but when I first learned, lol!!! I HATED coming to a light and wondering if it was going to turn red before I got there and then I was going to have to stop and then try and get going again without stalling!

LMAO, yes she hates when that happens she get's flustered and forgets what I taught her but some days are better than others! I need her to learn to drive the manual because that may be what she will have to drive when she starts college in Jan.

Laura Lee · « **Reply #11 on:** September 28, 2007, 12:00:30 PM »

Let's just say I never really learned how to drive a manual. One of my ex's brother let us borrow his car at one time. It was a Nissan, but I don't remember the model. Really nice little sports car. Anyway, my ex wanted me to run to the store and I was like "I can't drive a stick". He talked me into driving the damn thing based on just watching how others drive. I was driving pretty good if I must say all the way to the store. I parked in front of it and went inside. When I came out a car parked in front of me and another behind me. I was like "how the hell am I gonna get outta here?" lmao. I kept stalling out and grinding the gears <laughing right now remembering> until finally I just said "F" it!!! and waited until the person in front of me left. When they did I drove off and the kids hanging out in front of the store cheered.

I have never drove another standard since.

Hustle Man · « **Reply #12 on:** September 28, 2007, 12:03:33 PM »

Quote from: Laura Lee on September 28, 2007, 11:32:08 AM

I agree with Flower and Knny. Driving is a privilege and not "owed" to your daughter. She needs to own up to the responsibilities that come with achieving a license and that is to repair YOUR own mistakes (accidents). Your ex should make her pay for the damages and tell her that she cannot take the test UNTIL this damage is fixed. ..

As far as teaching your daughter to drive a stick, no, I wouldn't push it. I think she should know how to in case of such issues as this one, but if she refuses....then so be it. When she's ready to learn...she'll ask.

I think you should talk to my ex because she never listens to me!

I don't look at my requirement to learn how to drive the stick as pushing her but part of the process she will not always have access to the automatic and my other kids or even her friends will be passengers and I need her to be confident if she has to drive the stick. But I understand what you are saying and I am being as patient as a Hustle Man can be!

Hustle Man · « **Reply #13 on:** September 28, 2007, 12:05:49 PM »

Quote from: Laura Lee on September 28, 2007, 12:00:30 PM

Let's just say I never really learned how to drive a manual. One of my ex's brother let us borrow his car at one time. It was a Nissan, but I don't remember the model. Really nice little sports car. Anyway, my ex wanted me to run to the store and I was like "I can't drive a stick". He talked me into driving the damn thing based on just watching how others drive. I was driving pretty good if I must say all the way to the store. I parked in front of it and went inside. When I came out a car parked in front of me and another behind me. I was like "how the hell am I gonna get outta here?" lmao. I kept stalling out and grinding the gears <laughing right now remembering> until finally I just said "F" it!!! and waited until the person in front of me left. When they did I drove off and the kids hanging out in front of the store cheered.

I have never drove another standard since.

I will have to talk to Mike about revoking your driving priviledges until you learn to drive a stick LOL!

Laura Lee · « **Reply #14 on:** September 28, 2007, 12:07:21 PM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 12:03:33 PM

I think you should talk to my ex because she never listens to me!

I don't look at my requirement to learn how to drive the stick as pushing her but part of the process she will not always have access to the automatic and my other kids or even her friends will be passengers and I need her to be confident if she has to drive the stick. But I understand what you are saying and I am being as patient as a Hustle Man can be!

I would probably smack the crap outta your ex HustlerMan, no offense.

~flower~ · « **Reply #15 on:** September 28, 2007, 12:16:45 PM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 12:05:49 PM

I will have to talk to Mike about revoking your driving priviledges until you learn to drive a stick LOL!

Quote from: Laura Lee on September 28, 2007, 12:07:21 PM

I would probably smack the crap outta Mike

Laura Lee · « **Reply #16 on:** September 28, 2007, 12:19:13 PM »

Quote from: ~flower~ on September 28, 2007, 12:16:45 PM

Hustle Man · « **Reply #17 on:** September 28, 2007, 03:07:43 PM »

Quote from: Princess L on September 28, 2007, 11:23:49 AM

My dad’s stipulation for owning a car was that I had to know how to change the oil and change a flat along with paying the insurance; so I took auto shop (only girl in the class) (and only 1 of 2 to get an A). I was a tenacious little brat and made damn sure my drivers test was scheduled on my 16th birthday. Passed it with flying colors and went out that night and bought a car from a private owner. WTF??? Here’s a 16 year old girl with a couple of her buddies buying a car – No adult. I can’t believe the seller got away with that. Got home later with my hot wheels and dad was PISSED. I was only able to keep it for a week or so until he found something more suitable for a girl in high school.

Trust me! She'll thank you one day~
just like I am Thanks Dad!
(RIP)

Forgot to mention that is a nice car PL!

Hustle Man · « **Reply #18 on:** September 28, 2007, 03:13:38 PM »

Quote from: Laura Lee on September 28, 2007, 12:07:21 PM

I would probably smack the crap outta your ex HustlerMan, no offense.

None taken! She is only difficult with me these days, maybe because I moved on but I didn't divorce her she divorced me, I never wanted that! You probably would like her she is very cool towards everyone but me!

But as always I was blamed!

Samourai Pizzacat · « **Reply #19 on:** September 28, 2007, 05:08:13 PM »

driving at 16 is silly, most 18-20 year old aren't mature enough to drive a ton of steel at 60+ MpH. Be strict, the lack of a mandatory car checkup has the US filled with cars that are downright dangerous. the tricky part of driving is automising the clutch and manual shifting of a car, automatics are much less of a hassle.

knny187 · « **Reply #20 on:** September 28, 2007, 05:20:25 PM »

Quote from: Princess L on September 28, 2007, 11:23:49 AM

My dad’s stipulation for owning a car was that I had to know how to change the oil and change a flat along with paying the insurance; so I took auto shop (only girl in the class) (and only 1 of 2 to get an A). I was a tenacious little brat and made damn sure my drivers test was scheduled on my 16th birthday. Passed it with flying colors and went out that night and bought a car from a private owner. WTF??? Here’s a 16 year old girl with a couple of her buddies buying a car – No adult. I can’t believe the seller got away with that. Got home later with my hot wheels and dad was PISSED. I was only able to keep it for a week or so until he found something more suitable for a girl in high school.

Trust me! She'll thank you one day~
just like I am Thanks Dad!
(RIP)

Too bad you didn't keep it.....

It's worth some $$$ now

Princess L · « **Reply #21 on:** September 28, 2007, 09:41:43 PM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 12:03:33 PM

I don't look at my requirement to learn how to drive the stick as pushing her but part of the process

I think we're on the same page on this one

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 11:57:02 AM

I will not rent a car for her to take the test with!

Well, that is just an asinine thought in the first place

Quote

LMAO, yes she hates when that happens she get's flustered and forgets what I taught her but some days are better than others!

and someday she'll be sharing the stories laughing her a$$ off

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 28, 2007, 03:07:43 PM

Forgot to mention that is a nice car PL!

Yes it was

Too bad I didn't realize how nice at the time.

Quote from: knny187 on September 28, 2007, 05:20:25 PM

Too bad you didn't keep it.....

It's worth some $$$ now

I probably would've killed myself in it and my dad knew it. He gave me many lame excuses (which I bought) for not keeping it. He (MANY YEARS later) admitted it was hard for him to make me get rid of it, even though it was for my own good.

24KT · « **Reply #22 on:** September 29, 2007, 01:19:25 AM »

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. $80 to fix the tail light, ...and she has until March?
Either one of them can fix it. Also too, she has until March to learn to drive a stick, ...it's not like the test is coming up in a week. That's just my perspective, ...which is really irrelevant. What matters the final decision makers POV. It doesn't look lke yours is going to change, so if I were you, I'd find a way to gently persuade her of her options. if she wants to take the test in the van, one of them needs t fix that taillight. if not, the test takes place on a manual. she had better make up her mind real fast which one she wants to do, 'cause learning a manual on short notice might be tough.

on a side note: If my sister can learn a stick... anyone can.

Hustle Man · « **Reply #23 on:** September 29, 2007, 11:00:12 PM »

Quote from: jaguarenterprises on September 29, 2007, 01:19:25 AM

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. $80 to fix the tail light, ...and she has until March?
Either one of them can fix it. Also too, she has until March to learn to drive a stick, ...it's not like the test is coming up in a week. That's just my perspective, ...which is really irrelevant. What matters the final decision makers POV. It doesn't look lke yours is going to change, so if I were you, I'd find a way to gently persuade her of her options. if she wants to take the test in the van, one of them needs t fix that taillight. if not, the test takes place on a manual. she had better make up her mind real fast which one she wants to do, 'cause learning a manual on short notice might be tough.

on a side note: If my sister can learn a stick... anyone can.

LOL we see eye to eye on this one!

24KT · « **Reply #24 on:** September 30, 2007, 01:53:29 AM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on September 29, 2007, 11:00:12 PM

LOL we see eye to eye on this one!

We do, ...but I'd caution you about having infinite patience if you're going to teach her to drive stick.

The 3^rd time I had ever gotten behind the wheel of a car when I was 21 (The 1^st 2 X's and only 2 X's I had ever previously been behind the wheel of a car, was when I was 17 and "borrowed" my Mom's car

) my boyfriend attempted to teach me to drive a manual transmission.

After about 10 minutes of being yelled at for grinding the gears and not shifting smoothly enough,
...I announced the lesson was over, and that I was not going to be taught to drive a stick by him.

You're going to need the patience of a saint, ...no harsh words, ...no eyeball rolls, ...no sighs,
...and if she backs over a garbage can and busts your tail light, ...smile, say "That's ok honey" and pay to fix it.