You know you are a figure competitor when...
1) For a few days each year your toilet seat is brown and this time it isn't your husband's fault.
2) You can honestly say you have spent more on a bathing suit than your wedding dress
3) Six inch clear hooker heels is your footwear of choice in your own home (and not just in the bedroom)
4) Someone asks about the man in your life and you tell them that Gym is fine
5) You have two sections in your wardrobe. Contest and Offseason...they are not mix and match
6) Your top three priorities on any given day: Workout, Eat Clean, Check the fitness forum board (Not necessarily in that order)
7) You can name any pro figure competitor by seeing her butt alone
When someone wants to take your picture, you immediately spread your lats, tighten every muscle in your body, point your fingers and SMILE
9) You take more pills daily than your 80 year old grandmother
10) Your idea of dressing up is taking your hair out of the ponytail its been in for a week
11) You have had someone close to you, hide food from you in your own house.
12) An easy day is lifting and only 1 cardio session
13) Instead of carrying a Gucci purse you accessorize with a Coleman cooler
14) Waking up so sore you can barely move puts a smile on your face
15) You can't do any work because you are to busy counting down the seconds until your next meal
16) The faint smell of Pro Tan gets your heart pumping faster than your man's cologne
17) You leave a little trail of Splenda packets, tupperware, & empty water bottles everywhere you go
18) Your hubby makes you pee in the guest bathroom because every meal includes asparagus
19) You consider Beano an essential part of your supplement regimen
20) Your jaws are sore because you can't stop chewing sugar free gum
21) You spend at least 5 minutes grilling your server at a restaurant, and another five minutes re-writing the menu until you've got a meal that meets your diet's specifications...and then you devour it in less than 60 seconds flat
22) You consider a day when you only have to make ONE trip to the gym a luxury
23) You think about having "relaxed hands" and sticking your butt out while standing in line at the grocery store (Hey, a girl's gotta practice her posing)
