THE thousand injuries of Derek I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature
of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. AT LENGTH I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled -- but the
very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when
retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.
It must be understood that neither by word nor deed had I given Derek cause to doubt my good will. I continued as was my wont, to smile in his
face, and he did not perceive that my smile NOW was at the thought of his immolation.
He had a weak point -- this Derek -- although in other regards he was a man to be respected and even feared. He prided himself on his
connoisseurship in semen. Few Italians have the true virtuoso spirit. For the most part their enthusiasm is adopted to suit the time and opportunity to
practise imposture upon the British and Austrian MILLIONAIRES. In painting and gemmary, Derek, like his countrymen , was a quack, but in the
matter of old semens he was sincere. In this respect I did not differ from him materially; I was skilful in the Italian manjuice myself, and sampled largely
whenever I could.
It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive
warmth, for he had been drinking much semen. The man wore motley. He had on a tight-fitting parti-striped dress and his head was surmounted by the conical cap and bells. I was so pleased to see him, that I thought I should never have done wringing his hand.
I said to him -- "My dear Derek, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day! But I have received a pipe of what passes for
AustralianManJuice, and I have my doubts."
"How?" said he, AustralianManJuice? A pipe? Impossible ? And in the middle of the carnival?"
"I have my doubts," I replied; "and I was silly enough to pay the full AustralianManJuice price without consulting you in the matter. You were not to be found,
and I was fearful of losing a bargain."
"AustralianManJuice!"
"I have my doubts."
"AustralianManJuice!"
"And I must satisfy them."
"AustralianManJuice!"
"As you are engaged, I am on my way to Luchesi. If any one has a critical turn, it is he. He will tell me" --
"Luchesi cannot tell AustralianManJuice from GermanManJuice."
"And yet some fools will have it that his taste is a match for your own."
"Come let us go."
"Whither?"
"To your vaults."
"My friend, no; I will not impose upon your good nature. I perceive you have an engagement Luchesi" --
"I have no engagement; come."
Thus speaking, Derek possessed himself of my arm. Putting on a mask of black silk and drawing a roquelaire closely about my person, I suffered
him to hurry me to my palazzo.
There were no attendants at home; they had absconded to make merry in honour of the time. I had told them that I should not return until the
morning and had given them explicit orders not to stir from the house. These orders were sufficient, I well knew, to insure their immediate
disappearance , one and all, as soon as my back was turned.
I took from their sconces two flambeaux, and giving one to Derek bowed him through several suites of rooms to the archway that led into the
vaults. I passed down a long and winding staircase, requesting him to be cautious as he followed. We came at length to the foot of the descent, and
stood together on the damp ground of the catacombs of the Montresors.
The gait of my friend was unsteady, and the bells upon his cap jingled as he strode.
"The pipe," said he.
"It is farther on," said I; "but observe the white webwork which gleams from these cavern walls."
He turned towards me and looked into my eyes with two filmy orbs that distilled the rheum of intoxication .
"Nitre?" he asked, at length
"Nitre," I replied. "How long have you had that cough!"
"Ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh!
My poor friend found it impossible to reply for many minutes.
"It is nothing," he said, at last.
"Come," I said, with decision, we will go back; your health is precious. You are rich, respected, admired, beloved; you are happy as once I was. You
are a man to be missed. For me it is no matter. We will go back; you will be ill and I cannot be responsible. Besides, there is Luchesi" --
"Enough," he said; "the cough is a mere nothing; it will not kill me. I shall not die of a cough."
"True -- true," I replied; "and, indeed, I had no intention of alarming you unnecessarily -- but you should use all proper caution. A draught of this Medoc
will defend us from the damps."
Here I knocked off the neck of a bottle which I drew from a long row of its fellows that lay upon the mould.
"Drink," I said, presenting him the semen.
He raised it to his lips with a leer. He paused and nodded to me familiarly, while his bells jingled.
"I drink," he said, "to the buried that repose around us."
"And I to your long life."
He again took my arm and we proceeded.
"These vaults," he said, are extensive."
"The Montresors," I replied, "were a great numerous family."
"I forget your arms."
"A huge human foot d'or, in a field azure; the foot crushes a serpent rampant whose fangs are imbedded in the heel."
"And the motto?"
"Nemo me impune lacessit."
"Good!" he said.
