So today at work...

[Cy Tolliver]

.

[Mr. Cortisol]

I work at a small grocery store. Today, although there were quite a few people at the store, us cashiers were still carrying on conversations with each other. On the register next to me was Carrie. I don't know if we would be considered friends, but we talk and joke around a lot. Around her, and around my other friends, I sometimes make jokes or say things that come off as me being gay. I do it for the laughs, i'm not actually like that.
Anyway...
One of the customers that I helped was a guy in his early 20's. After I gave him his change, he walked away. As I looked down to get paper towels to wipe up my register from the water that spilled from the celery he bought, I heard Carrie say "Oh my god, that guy was so hot". Now, at that point, I didn't realize two things:
A: She was talking to the girl working the next register, not me
and
B: The guy hadn't left the store yet, he was standing a few feet away from my register finding his receipt.
Not realizing those things, and thinking she was talking to me, I responded, with a lisp, "Yeah, I'd totally hit that."
As I said that, Carrie and the other cashier looked at me wide eyed with their jaws hanging down. The other cashiers looked at me the same way. The customers looked at me funny and started to laugh. The half retarded bag boy shit himself. And then I saw it: the guy, who had heard what i said, looked at me, smiled, winked at me, and then walked away.
With everyone within a 20 foot radius looking at me, laughing, I ran back into the break room to wait for the customers who had seen the scene to leave. A few minutes after I was in the break room, I heard, over the intercom, my manager's voice: "Come on, we know you're not gay, come back to your register."
Hearing an eruption of laughter from the store, I swiped my card to leave my shift and left out the back door. I walked home.
That was about 4 hours ago. I'm still contemplating whether or not to go back to work tomorrow. I need a drink.

terrible story.

unfunny.

try again.

[chaos]

Get your ass back to work, fag.

[McFarland]

I work at a small grocery store. Today, although there were quite a few people at the store, us cashiers were still carrying on conversations with each other. On the register next to me was Carrie. I don't know if we would be considered friends, but we talk and joke around a lot. Around her, and around my other friends, I sometimes make jokes or say things that come off as me being gay. I do it for the laughs, i'm not actually like that.
Anyway...
One of the customers that I helped was a guy in his early 20's. After I gave him his change, he walked away. As I looked down to get paper towels to wipe up my register from the water that spilled from the celery he bought, I heard Carrie say "Oh my god, that guy was so hot". Now, at that point, I didn't realize two things:
A: She was talking to the girl working the next register, not me
and
B: The guy hadn't left the store yet, he was standing a few feet away from my register finding his receipt.
Not realizing those things, and thinking she was talking to me, I responded, with a lisp, "Yeah, I'd totally hit that."
As I said that, Carrie and the other cashier looked at me wide eyed with their jaws hanging down. The other cashiers looked at me the same way. The customers looked at me funny and started to laugh. The half retarded bag boy shit himself. And then I saw it: the guy, who had heard what i said, looked at me, smiled, winked at me, and then walked away.
With everyone within a 20 foot radius looking at me, laughing, I ran back into the break room to wait for the customers who had seen the scene to leave. A few minutes after I was in the break room, I heard, over the intercom, my manager's voice: "Come on, we know you're not gay, come back to your register."
Hearing an eruption of laughter from the store, I swiped my card to leave my shift and left out the back door. I walked home.
That was about 4 hours ago. I'm still contemplating whether or not to go back to work tomorrow. I need a drink.

Gym stories!  

[rocket]

You must be terribly fragile if you can't even handle people thinking you're gay.

[McFarland]

You must be terribly fragile if you can't even handle people thinking you're gay.

Yeah people think Rocket's gay all the time and he doesn't even sweat it. 

[flexingtonsteele]

And ill never get those 2 minutes of my life back that it took me to read this story 

[rocket]

I'm surprised we're 6 posts in and still not comments about his job position.

[YoungBlood]

If you're making jokes about being gay, but melt under the pressure when actually busted...perhaps you should try a new routine.....

[BFP]

If you're making jokes about being gay, but melt under the pressure when actually busted...perhaps you should try a new routine.....

...Like not blowing dudes   You should also hump the cashier girl.  At Work.  In front of others just to validate your non gayness.

Jason

[french mistake]

Why did you say it with a lisp?

The bodybuilders I know say it without one.

[Eric2]

I work at a small grocery store. Today, although there were quite a few people at the store, us cashiers were still carrying on conversations with each other. On the register next to me was Carrie. I don't know if we would be considered friends, but we talk and joke around a lot. Around her, and around my other friends, I sometimes make jokes or say things that come off as me being gay. I do it for the laughs, i'm not actually like that.
Anyway...
One of the customers that I helped was a guy in his early 20's. After I gave him his change, he walked away. As I looked down to get paper towels to wipe up my register from the water that spilled from the celery he bought, I heard Carrie say "Oh my god, that guy was so hot". Now, at that point, I didn't realize two things:
A: She was talking to the girl working the next register, not me
and
B: The guy hadn't left the store yet, he was standing a few feet away from my register finding his receipt.
Not realizing those things, and thinking she was talking to me, I responded, with a lisp, "Yeah, I'd totally hit that."
As I said that, Carrie and the other cashier looked at me wide eyed with their jaws hanging down. The other cashiers looked at me the same way. The customers looked at me funny and started to laugh. The half retarded bag boy shit himself. And then I saw it: the guy, who had heard what i said, looked at me, smiled, winked at me, and then walked away.
With everyone within a 20 foot radius looking at me, laughing, I ran back into the break room to wait for the customers who had seen the scene to leave. A few minutes after I was in the break room, I heard, over the intercom, my manager's voice: "Come on, we know you're not gay, come back to your register."
Hearing an eruption of laughter from the store, I swiped my card to leave my shift and left out the back door. I walked home.
That was about 4 hours ago. I'm still contemplating whether or not to go back to work tomorrow. I need a drink.

Sounds like you need SEVASTE a.k.a semeneater-taster/bald-fuck

[SS]

Why did you say it with a lisp?

The bodybuilders I know say it without one.

Cause he's a thuper dupper kind of guy.

[pluck]

You have 2 options.

A) Suicide (most honorable option)

B) Get a job slanging burgers at McDonalds


hahahahahahahaha

Notice how he refers to the bag boy as half retarded. I guess being a cashier you get more respect and money right??? Since it involves intensive training I suppose.

[BFP]

You have 2 options.

A) Suicide (most honorable option)

B) Get a job slanging burgers at McDonalds


hahahahahahahaha

Notice how he refers to the bag boy as half retarded. I guess being a cashier you get more respect and money right??? Since it involves intensive training I suppose.

Best ownage Ive read all day.  I feel a Stage IV meltdown coming soon.

Jason

[Cleanest Natural]

Sounds like you need SEVASTE a.k.a semeneater-taster/bald-fuck

  ERIC 2 GEMS :



 "  Cheesy Another gem : "  I friend of mines dad trained with Bruce Lee back in the 1960's at the University Of Washington in Seattle. He said he was very fast and had some good power for such a little man."   Cheesy



 Cheesy    "  reminds me of the time back in 1989 when I bought two whores, one white bitch and one black one. That black sista got on top of me and her hips tilted back and forth so godamn fast and hard she nearly srewed my dick right off at the base before I exploded into my Trojan........."




 Shocked Shocked Shocked and the 500 carat diamond :

: No need to post a pic of me do not care to make you happy either. Know this I am 6'2 240 pounds, not like your fat ass. I am a former Marine, also practiced martial arts for years, yes even kicked some ass in a few low grade tournies. Lips sealed



 Shocked :High school was fun. I powerlifted a lot throughout it. I had no problems from anyone in high school. that is to say.........I had one once. I was a freshman and had a senior push me away from a drinking fountain. He said it was for seniors only. I said tough shit and started to drink from it again. He pushed me again and said " have you ever had your ass kicked by a senior?" I said no................"    Have you ever had your ass kicked by a freshman" He started for me and I grabbed him and flipped him to the floor. He got up tried it again, I knocked the snot out of him with one hard punch square to the nose. He grabbed his nose blood poured from it and ran away with his friends. The word soon got out that I was no push over.
    As for chicks I dated girls from other high schools cause they where easy and, I did not have to see them everyday.  Roll Eyes


 Lips sealed " On any given day with the right timming I could knock the f**k out of anybody on this here fuckin planet. "





HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Cleanest Natural]

Are u for real ?....I

[PANDAEMONIUM]

I work at a small grocery store. Today, although there were quite a few people at the store, us cashiers were still carrying on conversations with each other. On the register next to me was Carrie. I don't know if we would be considered friends, but we talk and joke around a lot. Around her, and around my other friends, I sometimes make jokes or say things that come off as me being gay. I do it for the laughs, i'm not actually like that.
Anyway...
One of the customers that I helped was a guy in his early 20's. After I gave him his change, he walked away. As I looked down to get paper towels to wipe up my register from the water that spilled from the celery he bought, I heard Carrie say "Oh my god, that guy was so hot". Now, at that point, I didn't realize two things:
A: She was talking to the girl working the next register, not me
and
B: The guy hadn't left the store yet, he was standing a few feet away from my register finding his receipt.
Not realizing those things, and thinking she was talking to me, I responded, with a lisp, "Yeah, I'd totally hit that."
As I said that, Carrie and the other cashier looked at me wide eyed with their jaws hanging down. The other cashiers looked at me the same way. The customers looked at me funny and started to laugh. The half retarded bag boy shit himself. And then I saw it: the guy, who had heard what i said, looked at me, smiled, winked at me, and then walked away.
With everyone within a 20 foot radius looking at me, laughing, I ran back into the break room to wait for the customers who had seen the scene to leave. A few minutes after I was in the break room, I heard, over the intercom, my manager's voice: "Come on, we know you're not gay, come back to your register."
Hearing an eruption of laughter from the store, I swiped my card to leave my shift and left out the back door. I walked home.
That was about 4 hours ago. I'm still contemplating whether or not to go back to work tomorrow. I need a drink.

No way in hell am I gonna read this shit, but I'll guess that is a good way to sum it up.

[nycbull]

monster living in a small town, going for easy lisp jokes, and then showing your an ignorant homophobe.

If you going to act campy for laughs then you should at least respect the community that invented camp. 

Maybe getting an education would help.

[ironneck]

haha i love getbig

[candidizzle]

0what the fuck> you left work because of that???!! dude you are such a pussy..


honestly; your work probably does think your gay now....the only plausible reason for a sane person to leave work at that moment would have been if you truley were gay and you were running off to go find that guy..

[KillerMonk]

My immediate family think im gay because of my love affair with the top BBs in the world.

Water off a ducks back.Even though i have a girlfreind.

[Palpatine Q]

Hahahahahahahaha

That dude owned the shit out of you, but you'll get over it.

PS  if this is a made up story, not bad

[The Squadfather]

Hahahahahahahaha

That dude owned the shit out of you, but you'll get over it.

PS  if this is a made up story, not bad

hey Groink what would you do if you ran into these two little twinks on the street?

[Spread Eagle II]

my chocolate man Steven would get mad.