everyone is dying around me , people i know on here whos family members are dying , my mothers close friends are dead and dying. Many folks have been there but i am at that point and coming into realization of everything,of what i see as the reality and my fate and intelligence from what i know about the bible and ancient wisdom wich are really the same thing
well anyways from the beginning my life has been to do 'good' by my 70 percent noble definition( you know do most 'shit' the 'rightway' in life) however my whole life has been about how to out do the other man excell at work fitness knowledge or whatever it was i wanted to be the best by the fairest of means as possible, even up until i began my ritcheousness path about a year ago, it has still been always to excell in what i do (but by law and or ancient law its wrong because excelling, is being above someone else, if one seeks this out they can surely expect to 'gain' but must remember the law of the universe because there is great 'failure' with any great gain, and this can either come in failure upon YOURSELF later in life or failure upon SOMEONE else , Because the meaning of the word to "excell' means someone must be second or last to you, IT is NOT even and it is NOT UNITY. The law of the universe has everyone cursed onto the other, such as the animal to humans and us to the animals and the dirt we walk on that we curse is also cursed by us cause we walk on it, its all even give and take and you cannot break the 'law' and expect to be superior and no harm done
No matter what diet or how hard i push, i will exceed but this is only going against my unity and eveness with all and the hand of 'god''s' will out weigh your exceeding efforts to put balance back in the universe, high peaks are followed by great lows, i am feeling this more than ever these days. I could be ungreatful and want to die. Or i can work on as the slaveworker/servant that god's' intended my purpose to be and ALL of our purposes to be *servants of ONLY love/work*. God only garantee's us SAFEFTY and nothing more this is coming straight from the bible, no lofty 'wonderful' promises, only that we be good servants for we shall have safety. I guess this is good enough, i think a true master servant should not ask for anything more than and equal life and equal treatment, anything more will simply cause a downfall of others. God allowed the good and bad to exist that is why we fluctuate in all sorts of way but i think the more we are perfect nobel servants the more sane we become
Latley ive looked at this outlook as very depressing , even when cutting calories and standing up all day and painting walls, then getting so lethargic (because i was trying to exceed by becoming super ripped while keeping moving on minimal calories) i could NOT do my JOB UNLESS i ate food (this would diminish exceeding efforts in becoming in top notch shape above all). So im forced to break my own bond because there is no other way to get the job done and the job must be done. I must be a perfect servant it is the only answer
im embarassed to say it took me nearly 11 years of bodybuilding to come to a point of knowledge where my works were simply over relished in and it was just an temporary wave like illusion of being better than the one for periods of time but following deep emotional and physical lows
i beleive we all get an even life of lows and highs, no need to wonder anymore, its not an easy road ahead for we have to do our best and expect nothing but only safefy by god or our creator's'. For they the 'creator's' are suffering for 'our' wonderful highs for WE must suffer for our creators 'highs' . "God created man in his OWN image" this is from the bible, he or they suffer just like us, i do not beleive in a perfect work free place, work is done in the physical and spirtual planes, and our creators or gods are feeling the pain as much as we do.
the best we can do is be the best of friends possible to help us all cope with what are gods brought us into, we have a choice. Let us be all in good spirits, humor, laughter but most importantly there is work to be done, and life isnt a free pass to do whatever you want because you will suffer in one way or the other
