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Author Topic: A Chemical Analysis of the Sexes  (Read 1013 times)
24KT
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« on: January 31, 2008, 02:45:01 AM »

Man - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Man
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.
Discoverer : Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)
Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties :
a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God.
c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore... zzzzz).
f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.
h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
i) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.
j) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied

Chemical properties :
a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.
c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red.)
f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
g) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.
h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.
j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

Storage :
a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.

Uses :
a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
b) Can be used in recreational activities.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.

Caution :
a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen.
Otherwise very maleable under correct conditions.
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24KT
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« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2008, 02:47:29 AM »

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas.
Subject to seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties :
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
a) Pure specimens blush profusely when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.
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xxxLinda
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thank you Ron & Getbig, I've had so much fun


« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2008, 05:07:21 AM »

think it's in the chromosones, not sure...


"Chromosomes are arranged randomly in the mid equatorial line,They can switch from this :
Xx to that xX .
Xx Xx
xX Xx
So that the 2 sets of chromosomes formed at the two poles of the cell during late anaphase have numerous possibilities".  (see Google & Winipedikia



either that or it's all 101010101 digital nowadays?
xL
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Playboy
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« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2008, 05:32:28 AM »

Where in God's name do you find these articles?
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xxxLinda
Getbig V
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thank you Ron & Getbig, I've had so much fun


« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2008, 06:03:20 AM »

Google & Winipedikia




Also from friends and family and neighbours.  I've always known about chromosones and pheronomes though. 


& people often email me the most amazing stuff.


xL


go google.  there's a y chromosone...
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24KT
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« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2008, 08:09:37 AM »

Where in God's name do you find these articles?

People email them to me. I used to scream & shout that they just clogged up my eMail... to no avail.
So now rather than complaining or cursing them out, ...I just sigh and accept it. I'm too young for ulcers.

Google: "What will make Playboy scream with fury?" ...and up it pops.  Tongue   Kiss

Even though you hate me   Cry , ...I still love you.  Kiss
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xxxLinda
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thank you Ron & Getbig, I've had so much fun


« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2008, 06:28:03 PM »

Mammals have one pair of sex chromosomes in each cell.

Males have one Y chromosome and one X chromosome, while females have two X chromosomes.
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Hustle Man
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« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2008, 04:04:22 PM »

Hehehe,


* Arguement.jpg (21.76 KB, 482x362 - viewed 173 times.)

* manwomdiff.jpg (61.55 KB, 754x461 - viewed 100 times.)

* mission2gap.jpg (33.81 KB, 483x359 - viewed 109 times.)
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