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Author Topic: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig  (Read 3563 times)

Rearden Metal

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So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« on: February 20, 2008, 03:30:00 PM »
...and there's this 17 1/2 y/o Cate Blanchet looking sweetie over in the corner doing her homework. What's my play?

Keep in mind I'm 30, married and well dressed. Also, I'm a midget with an average cock [edit to say: 3.2"]

Getbiggers, what's my next move!!!
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mass 04

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2008, 03:32:03 PM »
TEAM DJ SANTOS!!!!
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2008, 03:32:45 PM »
Quote from: mass 04 on February 20, 2008, 03:32:03 PM
TEAM DJ SANTOS!!!!

Hahaha!!!

not helpful tho
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kiwiol

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2008, 03:33:55 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:30:00 PM
...and there's this 17 1/2 y/o Cate Blanchet looking sweetie over in the corner doing her homework. What's my play?

Keep in mind I'm 30, married and well dressed. Also, I'm a midget with an average cock.

Getbiggers, what's my next move!!!

Get on top of a table, rip your clothes off (Hulkamania style) and hit some most musculars making sure you're roaring like a lion.

Finish off by thumping your chest once and roaring, "I'm a warrior armed with only a thong and I go to war in the gym". Then visibly mix a Myoplex shake and skull it.

That ought to impress the shit outta her 8)
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Lifter4Life

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2008, 03:34:07 PM »
Knock her out and drag her by her hair back to the cave 8)
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Arthurshall

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2008, 03:34:50 PM »
Either of the last two suggestions will work. Or just offer her some alcohol....
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2008, 03:35:31 PM »
Quote from: kiwiol on February 20, 2008, 03:33:55 PM
Get on top of a table, rip your clothes off (Hulkamania style) and hit some most musculars making sure you're roaring like a lion.

Finish off by thumping your chest once and saying, "I'm a warrior armed with only a thong and I go to war in the gym". Then visibly mix a Myoplex shake and skull it.

That ought to impress the shit outta her 8)

I'm looking rather pale and 15% bf hahaha this should be good.
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mass 04

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2008, 03:35:42 PM »
Quote from: kiwiol on February 20, 2008, 03:33:55 PM
Get on top of a table, rip your clothes off (Hulkamania style) and hit some most musculars making sure you're roaring like a lion.

Finish off by thumping your chest once and saying, "I'm a warrior armed with only a thong and I go to war in the gym". Then visibly mix a Myoplex shake and skull it.

That ought to impress the shit outta her 8)
That's a proven panty peeler. Don't forget to run in the bathroom first to pump up and oil down, coffee shops have notoriously bad lighting.
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Emmortal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2008, 03:35:48 PM »
Quote from: Arthurshall on February 20, 2008, 03:34:50 PM
Either of the last two suggestions will work. Or just offer her some alcohol....

Coke seems to work better these days.
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2008, 03:36:06 PM »
Quote from: Arthurshall on February 20, 2008, 03:34:50 PM
Either of the last two suggestions will work. Or just offer her some alcohol....

Work for what? What are you suggesting I do to this minor?
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benchmstr

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2008, 03:36:43 PM »
Quote from: kiwiol on February 20, 2008, 03:33:55 PM
Get on top of a table, rip your clothes off (Hulkamania style) and hit some most musculars making sure you're roaring like a lion.

Finish off by thumping your chest once and saying, "I'm a warrior armed with only a thong and I go to war in the gym". Then visibly mix a Myoplex shake and skull it.

That ought to impress the shit outta her 8)
agreed,and if it doesnt just show her your ice cream truck covered in human skulls.works for me everytime ;)

bench
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2008, 03:37:31 PM »
Quote from: mass 04 on February 20, 2008, 03:35:42 PM
That's a proven panty peeler. Don't forget to run in the bathroom first to pump up and oil down, coffee shops have notoriously bad lighting.

I just remembered I'm wearing some older Hanes tighty whities with rips and probably stains in them, CK's in the wash. Now what?
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haider

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2008, 03:38:12 PM »
Quote from: mass 04 on February 20, 2008, 03:35:42 PM
That's a proven panty peeler. Don't forget to run in the bathroom first to pump up and oil down, coffee shops have notoriously bad lighting.
hahahahahahahah!
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kiwiol

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2008, 03:38:38 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:35:31 PM
I'm looking rather pale and 15% bf hahaha this should be good.

In that case, replace the Myoplex with Cell-Tech and you should be fine
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w8m8

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2008, 03:40:48 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:30:00 PM
...and there's this 17 1/2 y/o Cate Blanchet looking sweetie over in the corner doing her homework. What's my play?

Keep in mind I'm 30, married and well dressed. Also, I'm a midget with an average cock [edit to say: 3.2"]

Getbiggers, what's my next move!!!

Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:37:31 PM
I just remembered I'm wearing some older Hanes tighty whities with rips and probably stains in them, CK's in the wash. Now what?

WAIT , how much hair do you have ? can you make the fakechestguy face ? do you tweeze your eyebrows ?
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TrueGrit

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2008, 03:43:06 PM »
Coffee shops are hard to get it going on in - unless you're some kind of Adonis hunk on HGH like Scott Alexander.

I would try to catch her eye and if she does any of the following I'd just drink my appalling tasting franchise coffee and not bother with the stupid bitch :

Look away instantly

Look away with an irritated expression

Look away with an insulted and angry look

Look away with a revolted and shocked expression

Look away and never look back
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #16 on: February 20, 2008, 03:43:48 PM »
Quote from: w8m8 on February 20, 2008, 03:40:48 PM
WAIT , how much hair do you have ? can you make the fakechestguy face ? do you tweeze your eyebrows ?

I have like no hair.
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #17 on: February 20, 2008, 03:44:27 PM »
Quote from: TrueGrit on February 20, 2008, 03:43:06 PM
Coffee shops are hard to get it going on in - unless you're some kind of Adonis hunk on HGH like Scott Alexander.

I would try to catch her eye and if she does any of the following I'd just drink my appalling tasting franchise coffee and not bother with the stupid bitch :

Look away instantly

Look away with an irritated expression

Look away with an insulted and angry look

Look away with a revolted and shocked expression

Look away and never look back

Yes! this is good advice!!1
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w8m8

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2008, 03:49:14 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:43:48 PM
I have like no hair.

Then I believe True Grit has your best advice , try that face in the mens room first , you wouldn't want someone to think you're about to go postal and break out an AK47

that package that you pack has got to be suspicious already
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HowieW

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #19 on: February 20, 2008, 03:50:33 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:30:00 PM
...and there's this 17 1/2 y/o Cate Blanchet looking sweetie over in the corner doing her homework. What's my play?

Keep in mind I'm 30, married and well dressed. Also, I'm a midget with an average cock [edit to say: 3.2"]

Getbiggers, what's my next move!!!
Take a cell phone pic and go home and jerk off.
That way you won't risk getting put on MSNBC's To Catch a predator....good luck
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #20 on: February 20, 2008, 03:51:47 PM »
Yes but I've got on a custom tailored shirt, cashmere sweater and Prada shoes. Should I just tell her I'm an internet millionaire?
Also, we're in Aspen so she's probably worth 17M herself.
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w8m8

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2008, 03:55:00 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:51:47 PM
Yes but I've got on a custom tailored shirt, cashmere sweater and Prada shoes. Should I just tell her I'm an internet millionaire?
Also, we're in Aspen so she's probably worth 17M herself.

sing some John Denver too that should work  ;D
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #22 on: February 20, 2008, 03:56:33 PM »
Quote from: w8m8 on February 20, 2008, 03:55:00 PM
sing some John Denver too that should work  ;D

Just did some work on the house he used to live in here...
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Rearden Metal

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2008, 03:58:55 PM »
Closing time....gonna hafta follow her home  :-*
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benchmstr

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Re: So I'm in a Coffee Shop playing Poker and Trolling Getbig
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2008, 04:00:38 PM »
Quote from: Rearden Metal on February 20, 2008, 03:51:47 PM
Yes but I've got on a custom tailored shirt, cashmere sweater and Prada shoes. Should I just tell her I'm an internet millionaire?
Also, we're in Aspen so she's probably worth 17M herself.
after several years of law enforcement i have come to a conclusion based on what i have seen

"beat the shit out of her,and quit your job and she will love you forever"

give it a try,it works for 110% of trailer park dwellers.

bench
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