i DO have psych problems, man. 
lol. i was a cocaine addict and spent a month in locked down rehab facility. i spent another two months in an open doors rehab facility. i go to psychiatrist every week.
BUT
this is what i love to do
i have an image in my head of what i want my body to look like
ill stop at nothing till i achieve it
looks like you have everything it takes to be a real IFBB pro!!
Low self esteem = check
use drugs to overcome feeling small = check
use other drugs to fell good = check
use drugs for cutting = check
crazy/idiotic enough to kill/seriously harm youself for getting bigger on drugs = check
suck cock for a living = check
there's nothing in your way champion, go for it!!
