Jesus.
He'd clean shit up in our country in no time.
...no one would recognize him.
According to several Apocryphal sources the Romans issued a wanted poster for Jesus including the only (semi) contemporary physical descriptions that have survived.
Apparently, Jesus was a 4'6'' hunchback with a patchy beard and a prognathous facial appearance such that "might give fright to a child", add to this the fact that he had been ceremonially trepanned (look it up) in the manner of a Nazorite (Jesus was supposedly a member of the Nazorite group, NOT a Nazorean as the town of Nazareth wasn't even founded till the third century AD).
So think less Jim Caviezel... more Danny DeVito (if he was a troll-like hunchback Arab).
The Luke