Okay folks what would you do?

[Hustle Man]

I just found out today that an old Navy buddy (whom used to be my supervisor for 2 years) is now going to be a member of the consultation team I am currently heading up. The guy is already telling sea stories about our relationship in a positive light.

FYI, he did some very rotten things to me while I was second in rank to him, e.g. he tried to keep me from coming home on emergency leave (my eldest child was suffering from epilepsy while I was serving the USA during the Bosnian conflict, he reduced my evaluation while I was in country searching for port side and landing strip explosives and his friend got the nod for the next rank etc. Now he is working for me this go around and realizes the error of his ways.

He keeps bring up our relationship but in a positive manner, should I put his dirt out or keep the peace?

Would you leave it alone and let his conscience punish him?

Or let everyone know how much of a backstabber he really is or was to me?

HMIC

P.S. He is a classic "dimmer" and strives to be on top, i.e. the HMIC (Head MF in Charge

[davidpaul]

I just found out today that an old Navy buddy (whom used to be my supervisor for 2 years) is now going to be a member of the consultation team I am currently heading up. The guy is already telling sea stories about our relationship in a positive light.

FYI, he did some very rotten things to me while I was second in rank to him, e.g. he tried to keep me from coming home on emergency leave (my eldest child was suffering from epilepsy while I was serving the USA during the Bosnian conflict, he reduced my evaluation while I was in country searching for port side and landing strip explosives and his friend got the nod for the next rank etc. Now he is working for me this go around and realizes the error of his ways.

He keeps bring up our relationship but in a positive manner, should I put his dirt out or keep the peace?

Would you leave it alone and let his conscience punish him?

Or let everyone know how much of a backstabber he really is or was to me?

HMIC

P.S. He is a classic "dimmer" and strives to be on top, i.e. the HMIC (Head MF in Charge

How long were you two guys together?

[YoungBlood]

You could probably let everyone know what a backstabber he is/was, but in doing so be 100% sure to come across as the info is not sour grapes!!! Otherwise you will just look like you're trying to stab him in the back!

[Lord Humungous]

stomp on his jimmys!

[Hustle Man]

How long were you two guys together?

13 years

[drkaje]

HM,

After a certain amount of time has passed... who did what starts mattering less. We should learn to be forgiving and so on, but don't let the same dog bite you twice.  

[Hustle Man]

HM,

After a certain amount of time has passed... who did what starts mattering less. We should learn to be forgiving and so on, but don't let the same dog bite you twice.  

I did let it go or else I would not have recommended him for the position. I think he thinks I will smear his name, its his conscience not mine. I hate being asked the question " what happened between you and Cliff"? It really has become a bit redundant but the guy won't let go of the past! I will not have him undermind my authority though. I thought when I gave the nod for him our negative history was in the past. Getting frustrated here!

HMIC

[drkaje]

Tough one. It sort of seems like he may be trying to use te "friendship" with you to elevate himself socially.

But I sort of wonder why you would bring him back into your life. On some level you knew there was a chance this would happen. Forgiving is great, forgettng isn't usually prudent.

[Hustle Man]

Tough one. It sort of seems like he may be trying to use te "friendship" with you to elevate himself socially.

He is the consummate "Dimmer"!

But I sort of wonder why you would bring him back into your life. On some level you knew there was a chance this would happen. Forgiving is great, forgettng isn't usually prudent.

In all honesty I brought him back because he is very good at what he was hired to do and I hate to say this but we are a very good team (we compliment each other beyond measure)! Maybe its me but everyone can feel the tension when we collaborate and together we make things happen and save the Govt a lot of money.

Maybe I am afraid he plays the cutthroat game very well. What the hell was I thinking?!

H

[Princess L]

FYI, he did some very rotten things to me while I was second in rank to him,

He keeps bring up our relationship but in a positive manner, should I put his dirt out or keep the peace?

Would you leave it alone and let his conscience punish him?

Or let everyone know how much of a backstabber he really is or was to me?  Absolutely not.

Be the bigger man.

I hate being asked the question " what happened between you and Cliff"?

That's between you and him and can be answered as such.  You'll be much more respected  if you don't divulge anything.  Besides, no matter what you say or who you say it to, the cirumstances and events will not be interpreted or repeated (among the ranks) accurately.

[Laura Lee]

I agree with the dr and Princess L.  Years have passed, people grow up/change.  It's time to move forward and don't worry about the past.  No one is saying you have to be the best of buddies now and for those who ask what happened, tell them life happened.  It's different for everyone.  I might also suggest you talk to the guy and let him know that you brought him onto this job because you know he can/will be an asset, and you don't with to have the same kind of "relationship" you had with him in the past.

[w8m8]

Laura you hit a great point , why not take the guy out for a friendly chat ? It would be a simple gesture and get things out in the open..

good posts here 

[davidpaul]

Laura you hit a great point , why not take the guy out for a friendly chat ? It would be a simple gesture and get things out in the open..

good posts here 

Is that wise?

What if he wants to get back together with him? They were together for 13 years.

[w8m8]

It could be fate , I still say it's worth the effort


true love has no bounds 

[davidpaul]

It could be fate , I still say it's worth the effort


true love has no bounds 

It would be a waste to throw 13 years away, he should give him a chance.

[Laura Lee]

I believe setting things straight and not playing games or waiting around is the best thing to do.  This way everyone knows whats going on and all cards are on the table.

[Princess L]

His memory of events may be different from yours.

[Rimbaud]

HM,

After a certain amount of time has passed... who did what starts mattering less. We should learn to be forgiving and so on, but don't let the same dog bite you twice.  

Agreed.

[Butterbean]

Lots of good posts here. 

HM, to throw out a few questions, have you noticed if this guy is a person who will be great to people that he can get something from....from people he may feel he "needs" in order to accomplish something for himself?  If so, when he gets what he wants is he "done" with them?  Have you found that he lies about things other than your past experiences with each other?


And Hustle Man, thank you for serving