BBC3 - 10th April 2006 9pm
Last year I was invited by the BBC to investigate the existence of ‘bug-chasers’ here in the UK for their documentary ‘I Love Being HIV+’. ‘Bug-chasing’ is the term used to describe gay men who deliberately seek out HIV+ sexual partners with the intention of becoming infected themselves. It was an irresistible opportunity and I felt compelled to seek out a truth to this controversial subject.
Everyone over the age of thirty remembers the apocalyptic advertisements the government ran in the eighties. Those images are long gone and the youth of today seem to have less fear of HIV. Could it be that prevention campaigns seem to no longer scare those who actually pay heed to them? Have they become softer? I believe so.
Whether ‘bug-chasing’ exists as a reality or an urban myth it is still being talked about. As a new generation of young people become sexually active it is important that our messages about safe sex get stronger. The youth have access to the internet everywhere they turn and can seek out only those messages they want to hear if they so wish.
A young gay man, who recently came out, entering an internet chat room where unsafe sex is being talked up, may pay more attention to those in the community they have recently joined than to the corporate messages on TV and magazines. As individuals as well as a society we have a responsibility to educate at every opportunity.
In the US articles in the media and on the internet talked of ‘conversion parties’. HIV- men would attend these sex parties with the sole purpose of becoming positive or ‘pozzed-up’, as they call it, by having unprotected anal sex with multiple HIV+ partners. Some chasers would tattoo ‘HIV-’ on their skin in the hope of one day being able to add the extra line to change the ‘-’ to a ‘+’. A few HIV+ men would tattoo themselves with the biohazard symbol, this meant never having to utter the words “I am positive, what about you?” I had never seen or heard of such behaviour in the UK but was determined to explore this further.
Recent estimates state that the number of men in the UK who openly admit to having sex with other men is upwards of 600,000. In 2004 around 26,500 of those were carrying the HIV virus; half of them were living in London. It is also estimated that two thirds of these HIV+ men were unaware of their status. It has also become apparent that since the 90’s the number of openly gay men that admitted to having unprotected anal sex has increased, although it is important to note that safe-sex is still the norm for the majority. Perhaps bug-chasing does play a part in these figures.
The only logical place to start my research into ‘bug-chasing’ was the internet. I used various guises and profiles in numerous chat-rooms. I often posed as a ‘gift-giver’ the term used to describe a positive man who will willingly infect someone who is negative. I was dismayed at the amount of messages and attention I received from chasers.
As well as exchanging frank and disturbing banter with men claiming to be chasers I was pleased and relieved to receive copious amounts of abusive messages from positive and negative men alike who were horrified at my ‘gift-giver’ profile.
So guys in the UK were claiming to be chasing HIV, but what motivated them? No two stories were ever exactly alike but some claimed to enjoy the ‘Russian Roulette’ element of unsafe anal sex; the added thrill of the risk. Others stated that they felt contracting HIV was inevitable and by chasing the virus they were controlling their destinies. There were references to peer pressure, the hatred of condoms and the feeling of intimacy that unsafe anal sex gave them. A few mentioned ‘breeding’ the virus, that taking the HIV ‘seed’ from another man was the closest thing they could get to becoming pregnant.
A number of the men I spoke with on-line had stories which will stay with me for a very long time.
Adam lives in Glasgow and attended a conversion party with a friend. Both boys were under twenty and were bound and gagged and had unsafe sex with numerous HIV+ men. Adam told me his friend cried and thrashed about during the whole process but the positive men wouldn’t stop. “My friend knew what he was getting himself into” Adam told me. “It’s his own fault if he made a mistake, but I think I’m positive now and I can’t wait to be tested”.
Daniel in Belfast told me he was a gift-giver and was deliberately infected by a casual partner who sabotaged a condom with a pin. Daniel now willingly passes on HIV to others. He said he interviews them to put his mind a rest that they are aware of the consequences. If he is satisfied that they are making an informed and educated decision he has no problem with having unsafe anal sex with them. Some of his sexual partners have actually come back to him to try again if they have tested negative after their first encounter with Daniel.
Eldred chased the virus and was successful in becoming HIV+. “I chased the bug and got it” he typed. “Now chasing re-infection with HIV strains to go full blown with AIDS”
After weeks of conversations on the internet similar to these I needed more information. Something wasn’t right; I was getting too much information from too many people far too easily. I needed to meet with these so-called chasers and givers. I came clean with many of my new chat-room pals and explained I was researching a TV programme. Every time I tried to arrange meetings with guys they would log off or simply disappear back into the ether. I put this down to the fact that I was working for the BBC and that they were obviously not thrilled at the exposure this would bring them.
Yet again I donned a new guise on-line. Posing as a different gift-giver I took my research to another level. Could I convince a chaser to meet me for a sex date? This time I would keep my connection to the BBC a secret. Yet again as soon as meetings were discussed they logged off. So many men were willing to be labelled a bug-chaser when hiding behind their computers but in the real-world it was a different story.
It was clear to me at this point that a very high percentage of chasers were purely fantasists. They were taking the risk of HIV infection and turning it into a solitary fetish and using the internet as a way of satisfying their fantasy.
‘Barebacking’ is the name used for unprotected anal sex. I found a website devoted to barebacking and started a poll on one of their message boards. 80% of the men who took part in the poll agreed with me that ‘bug-chasing’ is all fantasy and some of them had even fantasized about it themselves but hoped it would never happen to them.
A few HIV+ men I spoke to during my investigation had been approached on-line by bug-chasers, but again they were unable to tell me whether these chasers were the real deal or just fantasizing. Some positive men are still coming to terms with their status and others have lost those they love. Being approached by a chaser who says they are aspiring to be positive can be offensive and upsetting.
One of the most distressing things for me was the amount of young men I spoke to about chasing. The youngest was 16. Surely we are failing the younger generation in regards to HIV education if boys who have not yet left school are talking on-line about their desire to become HIV+. So where does the fault lie? Not all HIV prevention campaigns will hit a chord with everyone and each campaign targets differing sections of the community, straight or gay. I believe it is the youth we need to focus our attention on with a harder hitting message than we have seen in recent years.
Of course HIV is not the death sentence it once was for those of us lucky enough to have access to drug treatments. I remember when I first came out as gay in the late eighties the running joke was that gay stood for “Got Aids Yet?” Or that AIDS stood for “Ass Injected Death Sentence”.
HIV medication has played a huge part in so many lives but I believe these drugs should not be used as a reason for high-risk sexual behaviour. Combinations therapies should not be seen as our right, but as a privilege. I don’t need to remind anyone of those thousands who suffer with HIV and AIDS without them.
HIV is a global concern and an issue which affects everyone. Whenever someone becomes infected with HIV it is a tragedy for that person, their friends and family. Bug-chasing and barebacking are symptoms of a society where I feel we have become far too complacent about HIV. Whether straight or gay, promiscuous or in a loving committed relationship we should all care about HIV globally and at home. Like all pandemics the more people that are infected the greater the risk of the virus spreading. I believe we are all responsible for our own sexual health and well-being, don’t throw yours away.
Ricky J Dyer - April 2006
