Memorial day is here in my life...the official start of summer and possibly the beginning of one of the most exciting adventures I will ever go on. All around me, people are taking part in summer celebrations and festivities. Yet here I sit in my apartment waiting for the day to end. I've been cooped up here in my cave for way too long. Earlier in the day I drank a chilled bottle of water on my window perch and gazed outside at everything that was going on. I can feel the summer breeze on my face. The cars go speeding by my apartment, and I often wonder if they know I am watching them. I can see my neighbors doing stuff and things down below me on the street...I wonder if they know I am watching them. I can hear my neighbors conversations going on next door through the walls...I wonder if they know I am an unintentional part of their lives.
My fingers are worn down...my joints ache and my body truly needs a reprieve from the daily torment I inflict upon it. I know that if I were just to rest for a bit, I would lose nothing. But there is no chance of me giving up control of the wheel. Fate's painful knife of necessity is slowly and deliberatly slicing my flesh at a pace that I cannot keep up with. I can understand the reasoning behind the unrelenting destruction, but there is not a chance that I will push the knifeman away. The time to accept the blood and wounds is here, and my body remains strong amidst the constant barrages of percieved inhumanity. Others may view it as a self destruction...some may view it as a way of escaping the reality I need to adress...I simply see it as a rocky beginiing to a hopefully peaceful and fulfilling outcome.
Stay with me and belive that the season of change is slowly approaching on my calendar. The date is circled in the lost blood from my body's rejection of escape.
The horizon is bright and glowing...my eyes sense the vibrant glow of time's master plan.
My sunglasses are now on my head and my hands are ready to open the curtains.
