Dave
Rules and Regulations to be an official member
1. You must live in North Jersey.
2. You must still live at home with your mommy and daddy in order to save enough money to lease a low end BMW or Mercedes Benz.
THE FOLLOWING RULE IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
3. You must get a Tribal Tatoo on your Bicep Region.
4. You must get a spikey hair dew to look like everybody else.
5. You must wear a ginny tee as often as humanly possible.
6. You must begin juicing in mid February to get in peak balloon condition by Memorial Day Weekend.
7. You must have at least three friends named Anthony, Vinnie, or Joey.
8. You must shave off all body hair (this goes for the girls too.)
9. You must take off your shirt when you hear the bass music and form a man circle A.K.A "The Fist Pumper Circle Jerk Delight."
10. You must pretend to be impressed by the simplistic sound of pulsating bass.
11. You must hook up with your current best friends girlfriend behind his back at least once every summer.
12. You must spend at least 1/3 your weekly paycheck on Water Bottles.
13. You must be or "claim" to be cousins with at least every other person in the club.
THE FOLLOWING RULE IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
14. You must go Tanning as often as humanly possible: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Twice on Friday, Saturday & of coarse Sunday.
15. You must claim to have "connections" with the doorman A.K.A bouncer even though he only knows you as "buddy."
THE FOLLOWING RULE IS THE MOST IMIPORTANT
16. You must kiss ass to anyone with possible "Mob" affiliated connections no matter how pathetic they might even be.
17. When in doubt of "Mob Connections" make something up that could impress a girl so she'll sleep with you.
18. You must never miss an episode of "The Sopranos." You must then report to your nearest diner the following night to discuss it .
19. You must start a local lottery pool to bet on who will get whacked on the Sopranos.
THE FOLLOWING RULE IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
20. You can only watch a sports game if you are betting on it. If your not betting on it you CANNOT watch it because it's just not fun like that.
THE FOLLOWING RULE IS THE 2ND MOST IMPORTANT RULE
21. You must dress like a Guido but talk like a Rapper. Hence the term "Guido Wigger." The two have finally morphed into one.
22. Referring to rule number 21, you must play either hard core Techno music or Rap Music in your car and nothing else even if your have an urge to play something else.........DON'T DO IT or the image will be shot.
23. You must claim to come from a rich family even if your father is a mailman.
24. You must have the latest cell phone.
25. You must have at least one token black friend who you occassionaly bring out to the club.
