Worse thing a girl ever said to me...

[fathead]

let's get married

[tommywishbone]

I love when I hear how women 'decide' if they were assaulted, even weeks, months or years later....if things don't work out for them, sometimes its even 'rape'.

Just to be clear... people were "assaulted", but she wasn't one of them. 

[Moosejay]

Just to be clear... people were "assaulted", but she wasn't one of them. 

did you really do time?

[elite_lifter]

did you really do time?

Time in jail an interest to you. Thoughts of gang rape excite you. Thought so. Freak.

[Moosejay]

Time in jail an interest to you. Thoughts of gang rape excite you. Thought so. Freak.

You are lint

You do not matter

Sleep in tomorrow

like everyday

fatso

[tommywishbone]

did you really do time?

It's funny, in my youth, from time-to-time the law and I just couldn't seem to get along. Times change.

[elite_lifter]

You are lint

You do not matter

Sleep in tomorrow

like everyday

fatso

O.K. Chiropractor.

[Ex Coelis]

You are lint

You do not matter

Sleep in tomorrow

like everyday

fatso

that's the worst haiku you've ever posted

at least from a technical stand point

[JohnnyVegas]

What about the time your old girlfriend said you had no dick moose? That had to sting the ego just a bit no?

 

[Moosejay]

What about the time your old girlfriend said you had no dick moose? That had to sting the ego just a bit no?

Nah, I think I am a bit above average...never had a prob there

[Moosejay]

that's the worst haiku you've ever posted

at least from a technical stand point

 

doesn't a haiku have to be 14 syllables?

[Camel Jockey]

Moose's ex-girl said:

"Moose, you shouldn't dig a pit in your basement to trap your newphew in! You shouldn't lower a bottle of lotion and a bottle of Everclear via a bucker and rope to the bottom of the pit screaming, 'IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN! I WISH I HAD ANOTHER MORPHINE SHOT! I WISH I HAD KIDS! I WISH I HADN'T WORN GLITTERING VELVET MAN PANTIES EARLIER IN MY LIFE TO IMPRESS A FEW HOMOS! GOD HELP ME!' Leave the boy Moose, or I'll leave you! You sacless old homo! You wont fuck me, but you'll fuck and live through your poor old newphew!"

[elite_lifter]

Nah, I think I am a bit above average...never had a prob there

a discovery after watching gay porn?

[Moosejay]

Moose's ex-girl said:

"Moose, you shouldn't dig a pit in your basement to trap your newphew in! You shouldn't lower a bottle of lotion and a bottle of Everclear via a bucker and rope to the bottom of the pit screaming, 'IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN! I WISH I HAD ANOTHER MORPHINE SHOT! I WISH I HAD KIDS! I WISH I HADN'T WORN GLITTERING VELVET MAN PANTIES EARLIER IN MY LIFE TO IMPRESS A FEW HOMOS! GOD HELP ME!' Leave the boy Moose, or I'll leave you! You sacless old homo! You wont fuck me, but you'll fuck and live through your poor old newphew!"

At 44, I guarantee I look younger than most of you guys posting here

[Camel Jockey]

At 44, I guarantee I look younger than most of you guys posting here

lol

Probably do. 

[Moosejay]

lol

Probably do. 

or, these recent days, maybe not

[Camel Jockey]

Eating less, working out = looking younger in your 40's and usually no belly!

[Moosejay]

Eating less, working out = looking younger in your 40's and usually no belly!

one thing I do not cover is adequate sleep.

Luckily, I don't seem to need much.

On average, getting adequate sleep keeps you younger.

Def eating less, training smarter and a bit lighter, watching blood hormone levels, etc

[Brutal_1]

...out of all my girlfriends, this one was the most evil.

And I mean evil.

Within earshot of my mother and father (about 20 years ago, I was 22) she said:

"If I ever get pregnant, I hope, when the baby is coming down my birth canal, it gets strangled to death by the umbilical cord...I never want kids

I shit you not.

Try to beat that

Moose, was it remarks like this that have led you to hate women?

[elite_lifter]

Moose, was it remarks like this that have led you to hate women?

[LittleJ]

moose what did your parents say?

[gordiano]

At 44, I guarantee I look younger than most of you guys posting here

I wouldn't be surprised, if that were true. After all, you don't have a "wife" sucking the life out of you....and I imagine you taken care of yourself all these years.

[240 is Back]

I wouldn't be surprised, if that were true. After all, you don't have a "wife" sucking the life out of you....and I imagine you taken care of yourself all these years.

ya got that right.  Wifing will age the hell outta you.

[elite_lifter]

ya got that right.  Wifing will age the hell outta you.

I guess your wife is the boss in your house. Too bad!! Grow some balls.

[JohnnyVegas]

I guess your wife is the boss in your house. Too bad!! Grow some balls.

Who's the boss at your house-you or Hubby???