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Author Topic: The Rules of a Toddler  (Read 970 times)
240 is Back
Getbig V
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« on: July 29, 2008, 08:41:49 PM »


If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be removed.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
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w8m8
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« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2008, 07:35:57 AM »

I love this list  Smiley

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Butterbean
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Getbig V
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« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2008, 10:16:57 AM »

haha Grin
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« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2008, 07:24:53 PM »

I live that list Rob
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X
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« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2008, 10:38:34 PM »

{lol} Great list 240.

Just wait til he turns 2, ...it gets funner & funner.  Grin
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w
Beefjake
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« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2008, 04:00:27 AM »

{lol} Great list 240.

Just wait til he turns 2, ...it gets funner & funner.  Grin

Yep - testing their limits and showing their own personality. 

There have been times when I just stood there and tought to my self - I do not have the tools to handle this.
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Baby_Hercules
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« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2008, 04:54:26 AM »

Quoted for truth. Grin I have a two year old and a 4 year old. I must be a glutton for punishment. The 2 year old does all these things plus terrorize his older brother.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be removed.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

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Dos Equis
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« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2008, 01:07:26 PM »

Funny.   Smiley  I miss those days.  Wait they start believing they are smarter than you.    Undecided
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Beefjake
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« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2008, 01:08:47 PM »

Quoted for truth. Grin I have a two year old and a 4 year old. I must be a glutton for punishment. The 2 year old does all these things plus terrorize his older brother.

Well I have 3 and 1 but they are girls.(you know how it is)  So on top of any toddler stuff they are women underneath. So more random freak outs and all coming up...
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Baby_Hercules
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« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2008, 03:39:22 PM »

A house full of women, I'll keep you in my prayers Grin
Well I have 3 and 1 but they are girls.(you know how it is)  So on top of any toddler stuff they are women underneath. So more random freak outs and all coming up...
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