Moose, your comment - "I think I have too many docs and they are actually looking at me like an experiment and forgetting that I want out of this fucked up, physically disarrayed situation" reminds me of a story that may break the serious "ice" here for a couple of minutes at least.
Back about 30 years ago, there was a local clinic that was studying/experimenting with steroid usage and their contribution to athletic performance. I knew one of the individuals who was selected to be the "genie pig". He was one of three individuals who trained seriously with weights for competitive purposes. One was a body builder, one was a powerlifter, and the other was an olympic lifter and each received a monthly paycheck while they were in the "program".
I don't know about the other two but the bodybuilder cheated a bit by taking ever pill and shot under the program and also by using his own source and supply as he himself saw fit.
All three made phenominal gains but the bodybuilder progressed way beyond the powerlifter and the olympic lifter in strength, muscular gain, and loss of body-fat.
His gains were so impressive that he was asked to remain in the program after the initial phase was complete while the other two were simply paid a decent amount of cash and released from the program.
One doctor in particular was so impressed by this individual's progress that he decided to "up the dosage" and see where it would lead.
Eight months later the bodybuilder was definitely a freak of nature. Even now he is super impressive (he still trains) and often speaks about the good old days when he was the Frankenstein Experiment way back when. And he believes that many foreign countries employ similar programs even now and are probably even more successful today they they were when he was seeing "Dr. Frankenstein".
In this case, there was no damage, but there could have been because one doctor wanted to increase the dosage to see where it would lead.
Must be a lesson there someplace.
