Author Topic: May/December union (Read 3646 times)

BayGBM · « **on:** August 19, 2008, 07:16:40 AM »

Most women date and marry a man older than she is, but how much older is too old? Could you be serious with a man 10 years older than you? 20? 25? 30? 40?

Would you ever be too embarrassed to introduce an older man to your friends and family as your lover or fiancé? At what age difference would that embarrassment kick in?

Age differences matter less and less as one gets old, but let's say you are 30 years old. How old would you be willing to go assuming the guy is in reasonable to excellent shape and has very good to superior financial resources?

michael arvilla · « **Reply #1 on:** August 19, 2008, 09:53:43 AM »

this might be pushing it

Butterbean · « **Reply #2 on:** August 19, 2008, 11:04:16 AM »

Quote from: BayGBM on August 19, 2008, 07:16:40 AM

Most women date and marry a man older than she is, but how much older is too old? Could you be serious with a man 10 years older than you? 20? 25? 30? 40?

How old would you be willing to go assuming the guy is in reasonable to excellent shape and has very good to superior financial resources?

It's hard to say for sure but if I were single I would probably date a man up to 15 years older than me....Maybe .....not sure.

Quote from: BayGBM on August 19, 2008, 07:16:40 AM

Would you ever be too embarrassed to introduce an older man to your friends and family as your lover or fiancé? At what age difference would that embarrassment kick in?

Don't think I'd be "embarrassed" no matter what the age.

Quote from: BayGBM on August 19, 2008, 07:16:40 AM

Age differences matter less and less as one gets old,

I don't really agree w/this. From what I've seen in 2 sets of close relatives, as the older man got older the differences really began to show and make an impact on their lives together. It's like the older they get, the faster they get older.

One man's wife is still quite active and pretty healthy, and he is in a nursing home. She visits him every day but can't care for him at home.

The other man's wife started cheating on him because she said he couldn't perform anymore and they got a divorce. She just married her lover a couple weeks ago.

24KT · « **Reply #3 on:** August 23, 2008, 01:34:04 PM »

In my case, I don't think I could really put a number on it. I'd say it really has to depend on the person.

It also depends on what you consider to be "an older man"

I've dated 2 men who'd definitely fall into the "older man" category but based on chronological age only.

I never noticed it. Both were hotter than hot, and fit as a fiddle, and in far better shape than me cardiovascularly.

The 1^st guy (me: 25 he: 56) had a 5^th floor walkup penthouse near his office in Yorkville. He would take those stairs 2 at a time. I'd be winded by the 3^rd floor. He'd always have to stop and wait for me. He was drop dead gorgeous and was used to dating younger women, ...so we never had any conflicts as far as that goes or any "age related" issues between us. I've noticed more age-related or maturity-related issues when dating men far closer to my age.

Andy Griffin · « **Reply #4 on:** August 23, 2008, 06:02:49 PM »

When we were married, my wife was 35 and I was 22. We're still married, but although I'm 39 now, she's still 35. Go figure.

powerpack · « **Reply #5 on:** August 23, 2008, 09:50:00 PM »

Quote from: Andy Griffin on August 23, 2008, 06:02:49 PM

When we were married, my wife was 35 and I was 22. We're still married, but although I'm 39 now, she's still 35. Go figure.

LOL

Laura Lee · « **Reply #6 on:** August 24, 2008, 07:42:55 AM »

If you truly love/care/are interested in the person, what your family or friends think of their age or their appearance shouldn't matter. I could only see someone being embarrased of who they are dating because they are only doing so for what that person could buy/give them.

freespirit · « **Reply #7 on:** August 24, 2008, 11:18:11 AM »

If I was a single, old guy and I would have the chance to date women 20 or 30 years younger than me, do you think I would care about other peoples opinions? The answer= NO!!

Note: I'm not a single old guy.

Butterbean · « **Reply #8 on:** August 24, 2008, 11:19:11 AM »

Quote from: Andy Griffin on August 23, 2008, 06:02:49 PM

When we were married, my wife was 35 and I was 22. We're still married, but although I'm 39 now, she's still 35. Go figure.

Deicide · « **Reply #9 on:** August 24, 2008, 12:11:51 PM »

Quote from: BayGBM on August 19, 2008, 07:16:40 AM

Most women date and marry a man older than she is, but how much older is too old? Could you be serious with a man 10 years older than you? 20? 25? 30? 40?

Would you ever be too embarrassed to introduce an older man to your friends and family as your lover or fiancé? At what age difference would that embarrassment kick in?

Age differences matter less and less as one gets old, but let's say you are 30 years old. How old would you be willing to go assuming the guy is in reasonable to excellent shape and has very good to superior financial resources?

I think 10 years difference is the cut off. At least for me...I am 31ish...so no younger than 21...also no older than 31...

BayGBM · « **Reply #10 on:** August 25, 2008, 09:36:41 AM »

Quote from: Laura Lee on August 24, 2008, 07:42:55 AM

If you truly love/care/are interested in the person, what your family or friends think of their age or their appearance shouldn't matter. I could only see someone being embarrased of who they are dating because they are only doing so for what that person could buy/give them.

If you are 30 years how likely are you to come into contact with someone who is 50-60+ that you truly love/care/are interested in? I suppose it can happen but I am dubious when I see unions like these. Would this young person give this older person a second look if he (often it is a he) were broke or made a low to average income? Is the young person incapabe of finding someone his/her own age they are interested in? Can a may/december couple really interact as equals in a relationship?

Laura Lee · « **Reply #11 on:** August 25, 2008, 10:29:41 AM »

Quote from: BayGBM on August 25, 2008, 09:36:41 AM

If you are 30 years how likely are come into contact with someone who is 50-60+ that you truly love/care/are interested in? I suppose it can happen but I am dubious when I see unions like these. Would this young person give this older person a second like if he (often it is a he) were broke or made a low to average income? Is the young person incapabe of finding someone his/her own age they are interested in? Can a may/december couple really interact as equals in a relationship?

Hence my statement: "I could only see someone being embarrased of who they are dating because they are only doing so for what that person could buy/give them."

Deicide · « **Reply #12 on:** August 25, 2008, 11:44:11 AM »

Quote from: BayGBM on August 25, 2008, 09:36:41 AM

If you are 30 years how likely are come into contact with someone who is 50-60+ that you truly love/care/are interested in? I suppose it can happen but I am dubious when I see unions like these. Would this young person give this older person a second like if he (often it is a he) were broke or made a low to average income? Is the young person incapabe of finding someone his/her own age they are interested in? Can a may/december couple really interact as equals in a relationship?

What about 10 years difference Bay? What do you think?

Hustle Man · « **Reply #13 on:** August 28, 2008, 02:48:33 PM »

A great man once said the best match would be half his age plus 7, unless she is past 35!

Example: Him 30 she should be no younger than 22. If she is 35 or older he should be no more than 10 years older than her.

If I was in the race again I would go no more than 5 years in either direction.

HM (About to get hitched again and she is 4 yrs my junior)

Deicide · « **Reply #14 on:** August 28, 2008, 03:13:18 PM »

Quote from: Hustle Man on August 28, 2008, 02:48:33 PM

A great man once said the best match would be half his age plus 7, unless she is past 35!

Example: Him 30 she should be no younger than 22. If she is 35 or older he should be no more than 10 years older than her.

If I was in the race again I would go no more than 5 years in either direction.

HM (About to get hitched again and she is 4 yrs my junior)

Divorce is a costly endeavour.

~weed~ · « **Reply #15 on:** September 02, 2008, 10:57:46 AM »

I have been the December, and I have been the May.

powerpack · « **Reply #16 on:** September 02, 2008, 12:42:43 PM »

Quote from: ~weed~ on September 02, 2008, 10:57:46 AM

I have been the December, and I have been the May.

So you have been the MILF and the marshmellow

BayGBM · « **Reply #17 on:** January 01, 2010, 05:59:20 AM »

Quote from: Deicide on August 25, 2008, 11:44:11 AM

What about 10 years difference Bay? What do you think?

I think ten years is a good limit. Much past that and red flags start to fly: inequality of goals, experience, income, life stage, etc. It is the rare couple that has a healthy relationship with a 20 year age difference.

drkaje · « **Reply #18 on:** January 01, 2010, 07:38:24 AM »

For serious dating I'd say 10 years is the logical limit unless people want to have kids then it should be closer. I've always felt it was selfish and risky for folks to have kids beyond a certain age.

Just for banging it really shouldn't matter too much.

Parker · « **Reply #19 on:** January 02, 2010, 12:12:32 PM »

Quote from: Laura Lee on August 25, 2008, 10:29:41 AM

Hence my statement: "I could only see someone being embarrased of who they are dating because they are only doing so for what that person could buy/give them."

Which is why most women date older men, the sugardaddy effect.