Chris Cormier:
1 p.m. - Wake up (Partied hard last night at gay bar, danced my ass off in a cage). Eat Captain Crunch w/Crunchberries for breakfast.
1:30 - Turn on Playstation 3, and begin playing Madden 09 online.
4:30 - Turn off Playstation 3, after getting in an argument with some nerd over Jimmy Johnson's hair.
4:35 - Shoot myself up, swallow drugs.
5:00 - Drive thru McDonald's for lunch (damn, that McRib is good shit). Next head over to Blockbuster to rent "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" (I need ideas for my posing routines).
6:00 p.m. - Head over to Gold's Gym Venice (supposedly there's a big shot schmoe in town, with lots of money to spend, and he loves black men with muscles). I do some curls, talk on the cell phone. Some fool had to the nerve to tell me to "get off the phone, and train". Shit, I'm a pro athlete mothafucka! I gots to deal with the baby mama drama, ya hear?!
7:35 - No schmoe in sight - DAMN!
7:55 - Arrive at local porn store (I heard they just got some new sparkley thongs in stock, so I better get in there before Rodney St. Cloud buys them all).
8:55 - I manage to get to Toys R Us just before closing (I need some baby oil, all out). While checking out, the girl at the register asks me, "why do you need some much baby oil for?" I respond, Bitch, I'm a pro athlete! I put this all over my body and flex my muscles for a crowd of male fans! Shit, ain't you ever heard of Chris Cormier? Th Rainbow? The Cormier Crunch?
9:15 - Get back home, and play a little more Madden. Damn, why is it so hard to get a running game goin'?
10:00 p.m. - Ingest more drugs....
10:10-30 - Answer E-mails from schmoes.
10:30 - Check out Getbig. Phew....another day without being outed. Man....that Kamali is crazy!
12:55 a.m. - Put on make-up and Sailor Boy outfit.
1:35 a.m. - Arrive at my job at Gay bar.
