So what do the women think of this situation...

[Deicide]

As before, my thesis that women are unreliable, untrustworthy and utterly insane stands...

Basically I got a text and I already knew what was going to happen. I got to her place and to make a long story short she said that her feelings for me were too intense and she was thinking about me all the time and it was preventing her from doing her PhD. She said that it's her personal limitation and then she started crying nonstop and couldn't even look at me, kept on saying sorry, I am so sorry, going on about how good a guy I am and that it has nothing to do with me and it's all her fault and then the tears really started coming and she got really bad. I asked her why she was crying and who she was sorry for, me or herself and then I launched into a speech about the fact that it never really is a good time to be in a relationship and we are always busy or always have to do something; there is no optimal moment and asked her what she wants to do when she has a full time job and has kids? I didn't really want to do some kind of 'persuasion' speech but in any event it didn't work, so I asked her to tell me that she never wanted to see me again and she couldn't really say that, just kept on telling me that it was her fault and she can't concentrate when she misses me and I told her that I have a similar problem but I am trying to juggle both as well and I think it is worth it with her but she just kept on weeping and started having a breakdown and said; "just go". So I did. 99% sure I'll never see her again and I am supposed to feel good because I am such a good guy and it has nothing to do with me and it's all her fault; I really liked her. I plan on sending her an e-mail in two weeks time just stating my feelings for the record after having given her some space. What is the general take here?

[Laura Lee]

Maybe I'm not reading that right, or maybe it's missing information...but she sounds a little off?  What is she studying?

[tonymctones]

Esh man first off I wouldnt email her if thats what she wants then let her go man if she doesnt want to put in the time to make it work she probably isnt somebody you will want to be with anyway no matter how you feel about it now...I may be totally off but in all honesty it sounds like she just wasnt that into you, i dont care what you have going on in your life if you WANT to be with somebody then you will do what it takes to be with them.

[Deicide]

Maybe I'm not reading that right, or maybe it's missing information...but she sounds a little off?  What is she studying?

Computational Biology.

[Deicide]

Esh man first off I wouldnt email her if thats what she wants then let her go man if she doesnt want to put in the time to make it work she probably isnt somebody you will want to be with anyway no matter how you feel about it now...I may be totally off but in all honesty it sounds like she just wasnt that into you, i dont care what you have going on in your life if you WANT to be with somebody then you will do what it takes to be with them.

Maybe for a Westerner but she is Korean and they have different neuroses; during the episode it came to light that while doing her MSc two years ago she had a relationship and her grades suffered and she is terrified of it happening again but I would generally agree with you; I am very busy with graduate studies these days myself but this is the first chick I have liked a lot in a long time that seemed sane. It's difficult to let go fo something that seemed so promising.

[tonymctones]

Maybe for a Westerner but she is Korean and they have different neuroses; during the episode it came to light that while doing her MSc two years ago she had a relationship and her grades suffered and she is terrified of it happening again but I would generally agree with you; I am very busy with graduate studies these days myself but this is the first chick I have liked a lot in a long time that seemed sane. It's difficult to let go fo something that seemed so promising.

korean, american, egyptian, doesnt matter if you want to be with somebody you will do what it takes. Im not trying to be an ass bro and i can tell the situation is hard on you and it sucks and im sorry. Im just saying a person who really wanted the relationship would have said im not going to be able to commit as much time to this but if YOU want i will still give this a try.

[Deicide]

korean, american, egyptian, doesnt matter if you want to be with somebody you will do what it takes. Im not trying to be an ass bro and i can tell the situation is hard on you and it sucks and im sorry. Im just saying a person who really wanted the relationship would have said im not going to be able to commit as much time to this but if YOU want i will still give this a try.

That's how I look at it at least. Unfortunately I fear you are right though I see no harm in sending a mail; if she doesn't reply then I know for sure.

[w8m8]

korean, american, egyptian, doesnt matter if you want to be with somebody you will do what it takes. Im not trying to be an ass bro and i can tell the situation is hard on you and it sucks and im sorry. Im just saying a person who really wanted the relationship would have said im not going to be able to commit as much time to this but if YOU want i will still give this a try.

profound sentiment  .. 


Deicide my thinking is you should do as you're planning and e-mail her in a few weeks.. I would start writing it now..take your time and consider what you are willing to contribute to make it work and start there .. then ask yourself what you're willing to accept from her to keep her in your life in some capacity

I think if you re-assure her that you understand and can wait she will be receptive , if she thinks she's hurt you badly she may feel guilty for that , so you may want to take that into consideration

It doesn't have to be a complete break .. does it ?I can't tell that what what you've said thus far

So far it seems like you two are really attracted to each other and she's got her reasons according to what you've said to feel the way she does right now

I think if she has this time she asked for and you let her be , she may figure out she doesn't want it "over" , and you find during this time what you can live with and feel like it's OK

I wish you all the best

[Deicide]

profound sentiment  .. 


Deicide my thinking is you should do as you're planning and e-mail her in a few weeks.. I would start writing it now..take your time and consider what you are willing to contribute to make it work and start there .. then ask yourself what you're willing to accept from her to keep her in your life in some capacity

I think if you re-assure her that you understand and can wait she will be receptive , if she thinks she's hurt you badly she may feel guilty for that , so you may want to take that into consideration

It doesn't have to be a complete break .. does it ?I can't tell that what what you've said thus far

So far it seems like you two are really attracted to each other and she's got her reasons according to what you've said to feel the way she does right now

I think if she has this time she asked for and you let her be , she may figure out she doesn't want it "over" , and you find during this time what you can live with and feel like it's OK

I wish you all the best

Thing is, we only saw each other twice or three times a week; I can't help it if I am on her mind.

She does seem terrified of not getting through her PhD in part because her last relationship affected her grades. She kept going on about 'her last chance'.

I'll see...not getting my hopes up...

[w8m8]

Thing is, we only saw each other twice or three times a week; I can't help it if I am on her mind.

She does seem terrified of not getting through her PhD in part because her last relationship affected her grades. She kept going on about 'her last chance'.

I'll see...not getting my hopes up...

The amount of time you see each other isn't defining of how she and/or you feel , the way you feel about someone defines how much or how little you think of them


she has a real concern , as she sees this , what she's seen as a goal is being placed in jeopardy , albeit unintentional , it's actually a commendable attitude if you consider she's got priorities

very many young people don't have any have goals , let alone priorities


not getting your hopes up can also keep you from truly exploring options that may work out very well in the end

peace

[Deicide]

The amount of time you see each other isn't defining of how she and/or you feel , the way you feel about someone defines how much or how little you think of them


she has a real concern , as she sees this , what she's seen as a goal is being placed in jeapordy , albeit unintentional , it's actually a commendable attitude if you consider she's got priorities

very many young people don't have any have goals , let alone priorities 


not getting your hopes up can also keep you from truly exploring options that may work out very well in the end

peace

She's Korean; Koreans always have their priorities; work, work, work...and more work...

[tonymctones]

That's how I look at it at least. Unfortunately I fear you are right though I see no harm in sending a mail; if she doesn't reply then I know for sure.

ya definitly no harm in emailing her as a just seeing how your doing but the problem i see that might come in is you getting your hopes up or her giving you false hope unintentionally and keeping you hanging on to hope. A clean break is much easier than a drug out process of going over every "what if" scenario your mind can come up with in my opinion.

[Hereford]

Esh man first off I wouldnt email her if thats what she wants then let her go man if she doesnt want to put in the time to make it work she probably isnt somebody you will want to be with anyway no matter how you feel about it now...I may be totally off but in all honesty it sounds like she just wasnt that into you, i dont care what you have going on in your life if you WANT to be with somebody then you will do what it takes to be with them.

I already told you this dude.

[tonymctones]

I already told you this dude.

huh?

[Hereford]

I already mentioned to him what you had said.

so..... x2   

[Deicide]

I already mentioned to him what you had said.

so..... x2   

I'm stupid; I need reinforcement.