Boys and girls I am close to 75 years old. I was a soldier in Korea and won the George Cross and Military Medal. My dear wife Elizabeth died in 1998. I have a son Lewis who I have not spoken to since 1990. My doctor told me last week that I probably have a month to live and then the cancer in my lungs, stomaque and throat will kill me.
I am willing to donate my entire estate to a good cause if you can come up with one and I can change my will in time. My estate is probably worth 3.5 million of your yankee dollars.
I feel really happy and really pissed at the same time right now guys. please cherish each day as it comes.
Jim
After my wife died I moved in with a 32 year old aerobics instructor called Karen. Lewis hated her on sight because he thought I had been giving her a plundering while still seeing his mom. Lewis is a funny guy and I swear he is still a virgin. To think that asshole will get his hands on my Lucre makes me spin in my grave.....
Please guys give me a charity to donate to...
Not sure this adds up Jimmy... the 8 years... but whatever man. If you're on the level then I hope you had a good life and make the most of your remaining days.
1. Make peace with your son. He's your blood and he's going to spend a lot of time thinking about you long after you're dead. It's the right thing to do even if you can't find a selfish reason to do it. Tie up those loose ends as best you can so you haven't left a bunch of shit in your wake (wake...get it?!).
2. Throw your own funeral. No one else wants to plan that shit, it's a drag. Something zany, something traditional, whatever. Get it all planned and paid for, and obviously get all your other affairs in order.
3. Are you sure there isn't something you always wanted to do, whether it costs money or not, but you just never got around to it?
4. Bugger an Englishman. Doesn't matter which one. Most of them have it coming.
5. I like dogs. Cats not so much.
