I use to like clowns -- sort of. I mean, I was suppose to like them because they were suppose to liven things up and give the aura of fun. I actually thought they were kind of creepy with all that loud make up. That blazing white face with all that red lip stick plastered across there face just weirded me out as a kid. I was at a party once that had a bunch of clowns. It was outdoors on a ranch. They had farm animals with chickens, goats, horses and cows. The gang of clowns, maybe about five of them, were doing there usual routine. The whole balloon thing where they make little animals and then give it to you by sticking it in your face. One clown made a balloon that look like a bird and then started chasing one of the chickens with it. Kind of poking the poor thing with the balloon. It kind of looked like the bird balloon was trying to hump the chicken. Cute. At one point he cornered the chicken and the chicken just started wailing in terror. Fun.
Anyway, when we were having cake the clowns disappeared, presumably to go on their break. I went around back to checked them out. I was peering through the bushes wondering what clowns do on their break. There they were all sitting around all smoking cigarettes. One clown had his hat off and I could see his gray balding head. He would blow his nose by putting his thumb to close one nostril and expelling the snot from the other nostril right on the ground. No tissue or anything. Another one had his leg crossed. At least he crossed it like how a man should cross their legs with their ankle on their knee and not drape across their whole leg like women do so you can't look up their skirt. Notice how guys on talk shows always cross their legs like women? I hate that. Anyway, what creeped me out was when this guy had his leg cross was he was rocking his foot back and forth. He was wearing this big, red, round tip two feet shoes. And he was smoking and spitting and rocking that big clown shoe back and forth. Another clown, also smoking, had the front of his shirt open revealing his pale chest with tuffs of gray hair. He commented on how "Fvcking hot it is."
I left because I started getting scared that they would catch me spying on them. The way they were going on I figure it wasn't long before they start complaining about the little pricks they have to try to entertain for a few extra shekels in their pockets. And if they caught me I'm sure they would have kidnapped me and taken me to their clown lair and torture me in the most brutal and perverse way. Smear red lip stick on my face, put a pink bow on my head and make me crawl around on all fours ... sick shiit like that.
Really destroyed my image of clowns.
