Dick Cheney would have told the shoes to go fuck themselves.
Donald Rumsfeld would have claimed the shoes were greeting him as a liberator.
Condi Rice would wait to find out how expensive the shoes were before ducking.
Joe Lieberman would get hit by one shoe, then endorse the other shoe for President.
Rudy Giuliani would announce that he was only the American qualified to save the country from having more shoes thrown at it.
Tom Tancredo would insist on building a wall around his head to keep other foreign-made shoes from getting in.
John McCain would respond by claiming that "the fundamentals of not getting hit by a shoe are strong."
Sarah Palin would immediately take steps to prevent Putin's shoes from coming into her headspace.
Howard Dean would proclaim he'd respond by throwing sandals, boots, pumps, sneakers, moccasins, YEAAAARGH!
Bill Clinton would question having been hit by debating what the definition of "shoes" is.
Hillary Clinton would throw more shoes at Bill.
Nancy Pelosi would immediately take the idea of throwing her own shoes off the table.
John Kerry would duck the shoes, then immediately be accused of not ducking fast enough.
Al Gore would use the event to call worldwide attention to the millions of shoes entering Earth's atmosphere every year.
Joe Biden would tell a touching story about getting shoes LITERALLY thrown at his head as a child back in Scranton, God love 'em...
AND
Barack Obama would catch the shoes, dribble twice, then score a three-pointer from half court.
