http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/santa/index.asp
mine:
Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,
This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled little girl. I have compulsively pillaged, and I have always helped my grandma with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big brother, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some coupons.
Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants beer coozies, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.
Breathlessly,
~flower~
PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.
PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Geo? He has been a really perverted weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in their stocking. Thanks!
