Author Topic: Jesus as a boy (Read 5323 times)

Tre · « **on:** December 21, 2008, 05:57:45 PM »

It's xmas week. Share some of your favorite stories.

This 'Infancy of Jesus' stuff is pretty funny.

The GodFather · « **Reply #1 on:** December 21, 2008, 06:00:26 PM »

WTF has that to do with BB or anything Moosejay???Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm

benz · « **Reply #2 on:** December 21, 2008, 06:00:51 PM »

Quote from: Tre on December 21, 2008, 05:57:45 PM

It's xmas week. Share some of your favorite stories.

This 'Infancy of Jesus' stuff is pretty funny.

I can tell you that jesus visited whorehouses back in the days before he decided to live the dream as the son of god.

just_a_pilgrim · « **Reply #3 on:** December 21, 2008, 06:15:12 PM »

I heard the real reason they were after Jesus was he was passing out free servings of Cell-Tech.

That stuff will make the masses huge.

ManBearPig... · « **Reply #4 on:** December 21, 2008, 06:53:08 PM »

i like jesus' life as described in the bible from age 12 to 33.

Oh wait....

Bast000 · « **Reply #5 on:** December 21, 2008, 06:55:18 PM »

Jesus was a tiny tit

Tre · « **Reply #6 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:21:24 PM »

Quote from: The GodFather on December 21, 2008, 06:00:26 PM

WTF has that to do with BB...

According to one gospel, Jesus is alleged to have killed another young boy when he was about 5 years old.

Allegedly, he pushed the boy off the roof. Now THAT is hardcore...total GetBig material.

In another story, his father mistakenly cut a board too short and Jesus stretched it out for him.

Bast000 · « **Reply #7 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:22:03 PM »

why did he do that? I didn't read that book.

Tre · « **Reply #8 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:24:38 PM »

Quote from: Bast000 on December 21, 2008, 07:22:03 PM

why did he do that? I didn't read that book.

I'm not sure why he did it, but it gets better.

In one ending, he denies having done it. And to prove his innocence, he brings the kid back from the dead and asks, "Did I have anything to do with your death?" and the kid says, "No, no my lord, it wasn't you." I can't remember whether he sent the kid back into death or whether he let him live, though.

J Grey · « **Reply #9 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:27:00 PM »

dear lord baby jesus

I wish for a safe year

Tre · « **Reply #10 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:30:15 PM »

Quote from: J Grey on December 21, 2008, 07:27:00 PM

I wish for a safe year

Don't go up on the roof with Jesus.

A 5-year-old getting on the roof, though...kid was pretty badass, the Original GetBigger.

J Grey · « **Reply #11 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:32:02 PM »

Quote from: Tre on December 21, 2008, 07:30:15 PM

Don't go up on the roof with Jesus.

A 5-year-old getting on the roof, though...kid was pretty badass, the Original GetBigger.

damn! Jesus didn't play around

you don't mess with Jesus "kendel" Christ

Marty Champions · « **Reply #12 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:34:29 PM »

Quote from: Tre on December 21, 2008, 07:21:24 PM

According to one gospel, Jesus is alleged to have killed another young boy when he was about 5 years old.

Allegedly, he pushed the boy off the roof. Now THAT is hardcore...total GetBig material.

In another story, his father mistakenly cut a board too short and Jesus stretched it out for him.

lol

Soundness · « **Reply #13 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:36:51 PM »

Here's an interesting Jesus story:

"In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)

"He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water." (John 7:38)

JOEMUSCLE · « **Reply #14 on:** December 21, 2008, 07:52:48 PM »

The big question is: How much could Jesus bench?

WillGrant · « **Reply #15 on:** December 21, 2008, 08:31:26 PM »

J Grey · « **Reply #16 on:** December 21, 2008, 08:39:19 PM »

Quote from: Soundness on December 21, 2008, 07:36:51 PM

Here's an interesting Jesus story:

"In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)

"He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water." (John 7:38)

shut the fuck up with the piss!

chaos · « **Reply #17 on:** December 21, 2008, 08:48:41 PM »

Soundness · « **Reply #18 on:** December 21, 2008, 08:49:34 PM »

Quote from: J Grey on December 21, 2008, 08:39:19 PM

shut the fuck up with the piss!

It's true, either accept it and embrace it or throw your bible away. $:-\$

J Grey · « **Reply #19 on:** December 21, 2008, 08:51:23 PM »

Quote from: chaos on December 21, 2008, 08:48:41 PM

.

was jesus on steroids? ~~~ or just the magic piss?

Soundness · « **Reply #20 on:** December 21, 2008, 08:52:52 PM »

Quote from: J Grey on December 21, 2008, 08:51:23 PM

was jesus on steroids? ~~~ or just the magic piss?

I told you that piss would increase lean muscle mass! Look what it did for Jesus!
Fucker could walk on water and shit!

J Grey · « **Reply #21 on:** December 21, 2008, 09:11:04 PM »

Quote from: Soundness on December 21, 2008, 08:52:52 PM

I told you that piss would increase lean muscle mass! Look what it did for Jesus!
Fucker could walk on water and shit!

Be ye followers of me, even as I also [am] of Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1

should we walk on water then? or take steroids?

Soundness · « **Reply #22 on:** December 21, 2008, 09:18:09 PM »

Quote from: J Grey on December 21, 2008, 09:11:04 PM

Be ye followers of me, even as I also [am] of Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1

should we walk on water then? or take steroids?

What is your interpretation of that quote? Mine is that he also has Christ in his heart. So what's your point here?

J Grey · « **Reply #23 on:** December 21, 2008, 09:19:37 PM »

Quote from: Soundness on December 21, 2008, 09:18:09 PM

What is your interpretation of that quote? Mine is that he also has Christ in his heart. So what's your point here?

do what he does, take steroids and walk on water, I thought I made myself clear.

Soundness · « **Reply #24 on:** December 21, 2008, 09:30:54 PM »

Quote from: J Grey on December 21, 2008, 09:19:37 PM

do what he does, take steroids and walk on water, I thought I made myself clear.

Didn't catch the "joke." I thought the quote was supposed to say something about the multiple quotes I provided. My bad, I didn't realize it was just wasted space and didn't mean shit.