Author Topic: How old were you ? (Read 7713 times)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - During a press conference Saturday for the upcoming Gay Games, health and fitness guru, Richard Simmons shocked the world with his quasi-admission, “I might as well be gay.”

According to agent Skip Cohen, Simmons came to this realization soon after he received an offer to become master of ceremonies for the international event. “Richard has been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. It took a tremendous amount of courage for him to 'sort of' come out of the closet in front of a worldwide audience. I’m very proud of him."

Upon his initial offer to host the games, Simmons was unsure as to whether or not to accept. “I told the committee that it might be more appropriate to give this honor to someone who was actually gay. They just laughed and told me they needed an answer by Friday.”

Simmons eventually decided even though he merely “might as well be gay,” he could still be strong representative of the gay community. “And not just because I love rhinestones and Barbara Streisand,” Simmons said. “But because I’m a sensitive person who is supportive of gay people the same way I’m sensitive to grossly obese people and ugly people.”

According to Simmons, both Ellen DeGeneres and Melissa Etheridge called him the night before, urging him not to hide behind his macho public persona any longer. He attributes his final decision, however, to a talk with his mother.

“My mother was getting tired of questions from prying members of her retirement community and wanted me to stand up for myself,” Simmons said. “She explained to me that in this world, you are either on the top or on the bottom. I’ve usually chosen the bottom, but not today. Thanks mommy!”

Simmons’ mother feels she needs no explanation. “Richie loves women. Always has. When he was growing up, all his friends were girls. He even played high school baseball, switching easily between pitcher and catcher,” she said. “I’m very proud of my straight son.”

When Simmons tried to hug his mother for all her support, she grabbed his ear and hissed, “I want grandchildren. And stop borrowing my mascara.”

GigantorX · « **Reply #33 on:** January 06, 2009, 06:15:36 PM »

Quote from: johnnynoname on January 06, 2009, 06:13:13 PM

a thong shot would in addition to a tit shot would acceptable as well.

Good thinking my man!

Also, shoving a dildo up your whore pussy would be a plus you fucking slut.

Drama Queen · « **Reply #34 on:** January 06, 2009, 06:22:45 PM »

Quote from: GigantorX on January 06, 2009, 06:08:49 PM

Because you have tits and you should show them.

I don't have tits , I have boobs thanks

johnnynoname · « **Reply #35 on:** January 06, 2009, 06:25:03 PM »

Quote from: Drama Queen on January 06, 2009, 06:22:45 PM

I don't have tits , I have boobs thanks

luvvsuNOT · « **Reply #36 on:** January 06, 2009, 06:50:55 PM »

Sevaste should be on that list. Doesn't anyone find it suspect that he has so much gay porn on hand?

Drama Queen · « **Reply #37 on:** January 07, 2009, 07:57:20 AM »

Bump for Bluto

musclehedz · « **Reply #38 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:51:12 PM »

Quote from: Drama Queen on January 06, 2009, 06:22:45 PM

I don't have tits , I have boobs thanks

Show boobs please.

nzmusclemonster · « **Reply #39 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:54:04 PM »

Quote from: musclehedz on January 07, 2009, 12:51:12 PM

Show boobs please.

And vagina flaps.

johnnynoname · « **Reply #40 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:55:13 PM »

we've all shown are man tits so their is nothing to be uptight about

saucetradomous · « **Reply #41 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:58:23 PM »

drama speaks like a mang, there's no way he's of the female variety

Drama Queen · « **Reply #42 on:** January 07, 2009, 12:59:54 PM »

Quote from: saucetradomous on January 07, 2009, 12:58:23 PM

drama speaks like a mang, there's no way he's of the female variety

nzmusclemonster · « **Reply #43 on:** January 07, 2009, 01:00:39 PM »

Quote from: Drama Queen on January 07, 2009, 12:59:54 PM

Show us your tits to prove otherwise!

Drama Queen · « **Reply #44 on:** January 07, 2009, 01:04:07 PM »

Quote from: nzmusclemonster on January 07, 2009, 01:00:39 PM

Show us your tits to prove otherwise!

You've never seen tits before ,stud

luvvsuNOT · « **Reply #45 on:** January 07, 2009, 07:03:50 PM »

Quote from: Drama Queen on January 07, 2009, 01:04:07 PM

You've never seen tits before ,stud

Do pics of Savatase count?

johnnynoname · « **Reply #46 on:** January 07, 2009, 07:05:00 PM »

Quote from: luvvsuNOT on January 07, 2009, 07:03:50 PM

Do pics of Savatase count?

their are pics of sevatase on this site?*

EDIT:

^{*sarcasm, get with the program people}

saucetradomous · « **Reply #47 on:** January 07, 2009, 07:06:57 PM »

Quote from: johnnynoname on January 07, 2009, 07:05:00 PM

their are pics of sevatase on this site?

uh oh, Johnnies got some new whacking material

webcake · « **Reply #48 on:** January 07, 2009, 07:07:02 PM »

Play along, bitch.

Get the fun bags out now!!

tu_holmes · « **Reply #49 on:** January 07, 2009, 07:12:47 PM »

Quote from: Drama Queen on January 06, 2009, 06:04:18 PM

When did he come out

He didn't... He is not gay... Well, he's never admitted to being so and never been caught in a gay act.

His mother says he's straight and he once said, "I might AS WELL be gay", but he has never said he was.

I am going with extremely effeminate, and not gay... although missing his true calling in life.