Wigga you gay!!
It had to be said, LOL!
Ask yourself a simple question: "Is it the idea of her I'm really in love with?". Most people aren't honest with themselves over stupid shit like. Someone gets depressed, bored or complacent and foolishly thinks changing partners will change them.
Also, having an emotional affair on your wife is wrong. The affection, feelings and other stuff is supposed to be for your wife. She'd probably rather you just bang some random bitch and be done with it than obsess over a relationship distance prevents.