My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
>
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
>
> I said, 'Dust.'
>
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ==================================================
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
> seconds..'
>
> I bought her a scale.
>
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ==================================================
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
> expensive....
>
>
>
> so, I took her to a gas station...
>
> And then the fight started....
>
> ==================================================
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
> nearby table.
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> 'Yes,' I
sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My Gosh!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
>
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ==================================================
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
> you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
> HAPPY!'
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
==================================================
> THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
> that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
> take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something
> more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
> point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
> grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I
> watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was
> gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
>
>
>
> I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
> driveway..'
>
> That's when the fight started...
>
> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will
always have a limp.
>
> ==================================================
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
> horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ==================================================
> I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my
> mother-in-law up.
> As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well,
> aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough."
>
> That's when the fight started...
>
> ==================================================
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed
>
> the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up
> to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour..
> The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on
>
> the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went
>
> back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I
> cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
> whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10
> years replied, "Can you believe my husband is out fishing in that?"
>
> And then the fight started .....
>
