Automated Voice Service

[Option D]

I call the God damn bank and i get the automated shit fucking all fucking day...fucking driving me crazy. I just want to talk to a fucking human being only. what the fuck is so hard about that. i want to talk to a person...fuck

[El Diablo Blanco]

I call the God damn bank and i get the automated shit fucking all fucking day...fucking driving me crazy. I just want to talk to a fucking human being only. what the fuck is so hard about that. i want to talk to a person...fuck

Press 0 numerous times on the phone and it usually transfers you tot he operator.

[240 is Back]

your bank is probably being bought out, bailed out, or just plain collapsing on you.  You're gonna miss your money, but you'll always have the memories.

[The Showstoppa]

When it asks for a response, just say "getbig" and all will be taken care of.

[benz]

When it asks for a response, just say "getbig" and all will be taken care of.

lol

[Option D]

Press 0 numerous times on the phone and it usually transfers you tot he operator.

tried that...THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS SAID  "invalid entry...invalid entry ....invalid entry...GOODBYE"  

fucking holy christ..

Then i get on the phone with this chick  with loads of attitude and "i dont give a fuckness" (yes she was black) i wanted to jump through the phone and slap the ever loving shit out of her face.

Fuck i wish i lived back in the old west or some shit like that when every thing was simple. You disagreed with someone and then you shot them...

[Option D]

When it asks for a response, just say "getbig" and all will be taken care of.

Lmao that made me laugh...fuck, was i ever steaming

[The Showstoppa]

Lmao that made me laugh...fuck, was i ever steaming

A couple of weeks ago a tele-marketer called and when he started to say something my response was "Carolina is playing on TV right now..."  He stammered a couple of things and I said "too slow." And hung up.  He is probably like "who the fuck is Carolina?" hahaha

[Option D]

A couple of weeks ago a tele-marketer called and when he started to say something my response was "Carolina is playing on TV right now..."  He stammered a couple of things and I said "too slow." And hung up.  He is probably like "who the fuck is Carolina?" hahaha

lol...

[leonp1981]

Nice little trick for telesales when they call you, they'll usually ask for the 'billpayer' or the 'homeowner', tell them you'll go get them and just leave the phone on the side.  Make those fuckers wait around for nothing instead.

Another slightly funnier trick is to have a whistle handy, whenever they call you, blow that fucker as hard as you can down the handset.  Usually stops them ringing for a while.

[Option D]

Nice little trick for telesales when they call you, they'll usually ask for the 'billpayer' or the 'homeowner', tell them you'll go get them and just leave the phone on the side.  Make those fuckers wait around for nothing instead.

Another slightly funnier trick is to have a whistle handy, whenever they call you, blow that fucker as hard as you can down the handset.  Usually stops them ringing for a while.

hahahaha lmao Thats fucking hilarious

[benz]

Lmao that made me laugh...fuck, was i ever steaming

Do you think your day sux? Whenever internet fail here, and the usual problem is the authentication process, i call the fucking isp, it redirects me to some mexi call center and this is a usual conversation:

sancho: "Hello sir my name is sancho, please give me your social security number"
sancho: "... alright...so whats the problem"
benz: "the authentication aint working i see it in my router, please fix"
sancho: "Sir, did you just say...ROUTER? our plan does not consider the usage of a router, please disconnect and plug the adsl modem direct to you laptop"
benz: "What? i wont unplug anything here, im telling you what is the problem, the auth server is failing, just fix it"
sancho: "Sorry but we have to follow the whole process, else the system wont let inform the problem"
benz: "what? ok I JUST UNPLUGGED IT , NOW IT IS CONNECTED DIRECT, AND STILL NOT WORKING"
sancho: "You did it that fast sir?"
benz: "YES I DID wtf is your problem"
sancho: "Sir ok i see here that we actually have a problem, as you say, with the auth server"
benz: "And you couldnt tell me that you fucking idiot since the beginning?"
sancho: "Sir sorry please do not insult me, i just have to follow the process"
benz: "fuck you, bye"

And the other usual problem is the speed, now this is MORE funny

sancho: "Hello sir my name is sancho, please give me your social security number"
sancho: "... alright...so whats the problem"
benz: "The speed is wrong, im getting no more than 100kb/sec and my plan is at 8mb"
sancho: "Alright, what did you use to test the speed?"
benz: "speedtest.net"
sancho: "Oh i see, please go to our website and use our tool, the other one aint really good"
benz: "look...its taking me like 1 hour to load webpages, dont even think to tell me that..."
sancho: "Sir in order to help you we must follow the process"
benz: "fair, im doing it wait...ok 100kb/sec"
sancho: "Could you please provide a screenshot and send it to my sancho email?"
benz: "done, but this is not solving the problem, your mexi company aint giving me what im paying for"
sancho: "Sir, everything is fine here, lets do this, START - RUN - NETSTAT"
benz: "ok done"
sancho: "Sir how many connections do you see?"
benz: "the usual, over 20, im using telnet, sftp, and some other things"
sancho: "Sir, you have a VIRUS, usual is no more than 5 connections, as i told you, this is not a problem of us, please use a antivirus and anti spyware"
benz: "What the .... look idiot, im closing everything, doing netstat again and now only 2 connections appear..."
sancho: "Umhhh then we have a problem here i think, sir"
benz: "Yes you fucking idiot thats what im telling you fuck you wetback $%#"" (meltdown here)"
and i hangup

then i just wait a few hours and its all fixed lol

[The Showstoppa]

hahaha, you had me at "sancho." hahaha

[Option D]

Do you think your day sux? Whenever internet fail here, and the usual problem is the authentication process, i call the fucking isp, it redirects me to some mexi call center and this is a usual conversation:

sancho: "Hello sir my name is sancho, please give me your social security number"
sancho: "... alright...so whats the problem"
benz: "the authentication aint working i see it in my router, please fix"
sancho: "Sir, did you just say...ROUTER? our plan does not consider the usage of a router, please disconnect and plug the adsl modem direct to you laptop"
benz: "What? i wont unplug anything here, im telling you what is the problem, the auth server is failing, just fix it"
sancho: "Sorry but we have to follow the whole process, else the system wont let inform the problem"
benz: "what? ok I JUST UNPLUGGED IT , NOW IT IS CONNECTED DIRECT, AND STILL NOT WORKING"
sancho: "You did it that fast sir?"
benz: "YES I DID wtf is your problem"
sancho: "Sir ok i see here that we actually have a problem, as you say, with the auth server"
benz: "And you couldnt tell me that you fucking idiot since the beginning?"
sancho: "Sir sorry please do not insult me, i just have to follow the process"
benz: "fuck you, bye"

And the other usual problem is the speed, now this is MORE funny

sancho: "Hello sir my name is sancho, please give me your social security number"
sancho: "... alright...so whats the problem"
benz: "The speed is wrong, im getting no more than 100kb/sec and my plan is at 8mb"
sancho: "Alright, what did you use to test the speed?"
benz: "speedtest.net"
sancho: "Oh i see, please go to our website and use our tool, the other one aint really good"
benz: "look...its taking me like 1 hour to load webpages, dont even think to tell me that..."
sancho: "Sir in order to help you we must follow the process"
benz: "fair, im doing it wait...ok 100kb/sec"
sancho: "Could you please provide a screenshot and send it to my sancho email?"
benz: "done, but this is not solving the problem, your mexi company aint giving me what im paying for"
sancho: "Sir, everything is fine here, lets do this, START - RUN - NETSTAT"
benz: "ok done"
sancho: "Sir how many connections do you see?"
benz: "the usual, over 20, im using telnet, sftp, and some other things"
sancho: "Sir, you have a VIRUS, usual is no more than 5 connections, as i told you, this is not a problem of us, please use a antivirus and anti spyware"
benz: "What the .... look idiot, im closing everything, doing netstat again and now only 2 connections appear..."
sancho: "Umhhh then we have a problem here i think, sir"
benz: "Yes you fucking idiot thats what im telling you fuck you wetback $%#"" (meltdown here)"
and i hangup

then i just wait a few hours and its all fixed lol

i am fucking rolling on the floor

yes you fucking idiot meltdown

[jesusbod]

I call the God damn bank and i get the automated shit fucking all fucking day...fucking driving me crazy. I just want to talk to a fucking human being only. what the fuck is so hard about that. i want to talk to a person...fuck

Humans don't exist....

[Option D]

Humans don't exist....

i guess

[Big Mark C]

I call the God damn bank and i get the automated shit fucking all fucking day...fucking driving me crazy. I just want to talk to a fucking human being only. what the fuck is so hard about that. i want to talk to a person...fuck

the message you put on your cell phone is kinda funny too

[benz]

i guess

I think the ivr of your bank must have a way to contact the operator, if not, just pick the yellow pages and call directly to your nearest bank branch, theres always a direct phone, you just need to look it up

[YoungBlood]

your bank is probably being bought out, bailed out, or just plain collapsing on you.  You're gonna miss your money, but you'll always have the memories.

Ain't that what the FDIC is for?

[Option D]

the message you put on your cell phone is kinda funny too

i dont have one.. it just says my number