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Author Topic: Today's Funnies  (Read 6102 times)
24KT
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« Reply #50 on: April 09, 2009, 05:33:38 PM »

I don't know about laughing...but your avatar brings a smile to my face Grin

It reminds me of this...

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf80jYNg8Og" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf80jYNg8Og</a>


Rodney Carrington is hilarious!!!

the man's song
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk</a>


the woman's song
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpZcCpdFILY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpZcCpdFILY</a> 
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Migs
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« Reply #51 on: April 09, 2009, 10:23:11 PM »

rodney carrington is hilarious
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« Reply #52 on: April 09, 2009, 10:48:49 PM »

rodney carrington is hilarious

I just said that, ...sheesh... try to keep up!  Roll Eyes
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« Reply #53 on: April 10, 2009, 07:22:41 AM »

don't make me take you to the back of the mall and give you a mushroom bruise, m'kay.
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« Reply #54 on: April 10, 2009, 12:43:25 PM »

don't make me take you to the back of the mall and give you a mushroom bruise, m'kay.



First I'd have to find it before it could hurt me.  Tongue
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« Reply #55 on: April 10, 2009, 01:24:19 PM »

b*tch



kidding



is it time for tiramisu yet? 

 Kiss
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« Reply #56 on: April 10, 2009, 06:22:39 PM »

b*tch



kidding



is it time for tiramisu yet? 

 Kiss

Sha right!  Roll Eyes   After that comment, ...do you really think I'd trust the creme in the tiramisu?  {lol}
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« Reply #57 on: April 10, 2009, 07:42:07 PM »

it's not the cream in the tiramisu i'd be worried about.  I'm latin, you know all we have to do is walk by any fertile woman and bam! 
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« Reply #58 on: April 10, 2009, 09:36:35 PM »

it's not the cream in the tiramisu i'd be worried about.  I'm latin, you know all we have to do is walk by any fertile woman and bam! 

...and bam what? ...we'll have fuzzy dice hanging from our ta-tas?  Cheesy
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« Reply #59 on: April 10, 2009, 09:39:20 PM »

yup and all would ride in a 1976 pontiac with 21 inch rims.  electric green at that!
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« Reply #60 on: April 24, 2009, 02:04:18 PM »

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE 


A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:


'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.


Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.


After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


*****************
**************


FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine..
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake..
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« Reply #61 on: April 24, 2009, 02:12:34 PM »

ha funny cause it's true. Watch a woman do something very similar yesterday.
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« Reply #62 on: April 24, 2009, 02:28:49 PM »

ha funny cause it's true. Watch a woman do something very similar yesterday.

Did she do a #23 on you?
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« Reply #63 on: April 24, 2009, 03:16:15 PM »

Did she do a #23 on you?

No cause I was laughing at it all..she even stepped out the car to pull up her pantyhose...it was funny. She looked like she was having one of "those days" so all I could do was laugh. She smiled and waved and said sorry with the cutes grin...

...hard to get mad at that. Plus it takes a LOT to get me upset.
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« Reply #64 on: April 24, 2009, 08:00:54 PM »

evil woman trickery
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« Reply #65 on: April 25, 2009, 10:51:02 AM »

tada!  Grin

question : why is my poop green?


answer below!

http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Dye/dye.html
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« Reply #66 on: April 25, 2009, 12:21:20 PM »

tada!  Grin

question : why is my poop green?


answer below!

http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Dye/dye.html

I knew about the grape kool-aid effect but didn't know exactly why!
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« Reply #67 on: April 25, 2009, 12:49:59 PM »

I knew about the grape kool-aid effect but didn't know exactly why!

from experience?  Grin


attention everyone else : refer to toxic as your personal doctor for all future poop related matters


true story!
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« Reply #68 on: April 25, 2009, 06:53:09 PM »

tada!  Grin

question : why is my poop green?


answer below!

http://www.poopreport.com/Intellectual/Content/Dye/dye.html

what if it's rainbow colored?
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« Reply #69 on: April 26, 2009, 08:59:42 AM »

what if it's rainbow colored?

get an exorcism !  Grin
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carpe` vaginum!
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« Reply #70 on: April 26, 2009, 09:08:02 AM »

what if it's rainbow colored?

Then it means you've got a pot of gold up your ass...

 Cheesy
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ToxicAvenger
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« Reply #71 on: April 26, 2009, 09:33:52 AM »

The it means you've got a pot of gold up your ass...

 Cheesy

lmao! classic....

and i'd add...." and a leprechaun somewhere hunting for you"  Cheesy
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« Reply #72 on: April 26, 2009, 06:49:27 PM »

i can poop gold! 
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« Reply #73 on: April 26, 2009, 08:17:20 PM »

i can poop gold! 
This reminds me...I found a duck egg in my yard!
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« Reply #74 on: April 27, 2009, 06:43:37 AM »

This reminds me...I found a duck egg in my yard!

that'll go well with the left over mushrooms and some chives you have on the back left corner of the fridge....lower right shelf. 


 Grin
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