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Author Topic: Just got a call from an angry husband  (Read 1957 times)

danielson

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Just got a call from an angry husband
« on: March 13, 2009, 01:42:50 PM »
So I have been texting this whore back and forth that is always at the same bar I frequent. I have never touched her except when she gets drunk and reaches down my pants creating a scene ::).  Anyway this was the call.

husband: Is this Mike?

me: Yeah, can I help you

husband: You can start by stop fucking my wife!!

me: You must have me confused with someone else

husband: I read the texts, she told you to meet her at the bar you asshole!

me: Yeah, one of her friends kind of digs me, as a matter of fact I think I am taking her out tonight. Do you know Jill?

husband: Yeah, I know her. Well, why is my wife texting you then?

me: why are you going through her phone? Sounds like you two have trust issues, not sure what his has to do with me.

husband: Well, she has cheated in the past

me: sounds like you married a whore pal, again, what does this have to do with me?

husband: just seems fishy is all that she wanted you up there so bad and had been texting you all day.

Me: not when you consider she was hooking me up with her friend

husband: you are probably right, I am sorry, this bitch just drives me crazy.

me: Ok dude, have a good day

Husband: you too.

I wish it more more exciting, but that was it. Made me laugh anyway.
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danielson

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2009, 02:03:32 PM »
Quote from: disturbia on March 13, 2009, 01:59:42 PM
wow did you ever handle that well--you had him eating out of the palm of your hand

I never touched the girl, so I had nothing to hide. Besides, I used to get these types of calls on a monthly basis, no big deal. I got knocked out getting out of my car once by an angry boyfriend about 7 years ago. Big bastard blindsided me, but in hindsight it worked out for the best. Toe to toe he would have taken me, he is just a big dude(6'3" 220ish) who likes to fight A LOT, so at least I wasn't embarrassed. Just knocked the fuck out ;D Other than that and a few death threats, never had any problems.
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The Showstoppa

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2009, 02:17:17 PM »
haha, you called the guys wife a whore and he agreed with you.  Ever thought about politics, danielson?
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Man of Steel

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2009, 02:18:37 PM »
Quote from: danielson on March 13, 2009, 01:42:50 PM
So I have been texting this whore back and forth that is always at the same bar I frequent. I have never touched her except when she gets drunk and reaches down my pants creating a scene ::).  Anyway this was the call.

husband: Is this Mike?

me: Yeah, can I help you

husband: You can start by stop fucking my wife!!

me: You must have me confused with someone else

husband: I read the texts, she told you to meet her at the bar you asshole!

me: Yeah, one of her friends kind of digs me, as a matter of fact I think I am taking her out tonight. Do you know Jill?

husband: Yeah, I know her. Well, why is my wife texting you then?

me: why are you going through her phone? Sounds like you two have trust issues, not sure what his has to do with me.

husband: Well, she has cheated in the past

me: sounds like you married a whore pal, again, what does this have to do with me?

husband: just seems fishy is all that she wanted you up there so bad and had been texting you all day.

Me: not when you consider she was hooking me up with her friend

husband: you are probably right, I am sorry, this bitch just drives me crazy.

me: Ok dude, have a good day

Husband: you too.

I wish it more more exciting, but that was it. Made me laugh anyway.

Awwwww, that was sweet.
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danielson

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2009, 03:23:13 PM »
Quote from: The Showstoppa on March 13, 2009, 02:17:17 PM
haha, you called the guys wife a whore and he agreed with you.  Ever thought about politics, danielson?

Well, he was pretty worked up and convinced she was cheating. Also, not to toot my own horn but I sell people loans they don't necessarily want for a living, so I can deal pretty well with people.
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SS

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2009, 03:26:01 PM »
Too funny ;D
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chaos

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2009, 06:01:15 PM »
hahaha Makes for an interesting start to the weekend. ;D
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danielson

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2009, 06:04:39 PM »
Quote from: chaos on March 13, 2009, 06:01:15 PM
hahaha Makes for an interesting start to the weekend. ;D

My weekend technically started Wednesday. Coming up on one year at the new job and vacation and sick days don't carry over, which is stupid. Use 'em or lose 'em. So I have been using the fuck out of them :) Closed the bar the last two nights and came home with more than I left with thanks to karma and Keno!
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chaos

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2009, 06:11:23 PM »
Quote from: danielson on March 13, 2009, 06:04:39 PM
My weekend technically started Wednesday. Coming up on one year at the new job and vacation and sick days don't carry over, which is stupid. Use 'em or lose 'em. So I have been using the fuck out of them :) Closed the bar the last two nights and came home with more than I left with thanks to karma and Keno!
Same deal where I work, use it or get a big fat check at the end of the year.
You've become quite the Keno guy lately, never had any luck with that at all.
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danielson

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2009, 06:18:49 PM »
Quote from: chaos on March 13, 2009, 06:11:23 PM
Same deal where I work, use it or get a big fat check at the end of the year.
You've become quite the Keno guy lately, never had any luck with that at all.

No checks for us, it's literally use it or lose it. I don't have kids and am one the greatest hangover workers in the world imo, so I hardly ever miss work. Problem is with my job I may be losing money by taking time off. We have a "pay it forward"(gay) system where other people handle our accounts, but fuck that. I told the guy that was handling mine to say as little as possible and call me if there were questions. I really should have used this time wisely, went on a vacation like a normal person. Live and learn I guess.
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chaos

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2009, 06:51:02 PM »
Quote from: danielson on March 13, 2009, 06:18:49 PM
No checks for us, it's literally use it or lose it. I don't have kids and am one the greatest hangover workers in the world imo, so I hardly ever miss work. Problem is with my job I may be losing money by taking time off. We have a "pay it forward"(gay) system where other people handle our accounts, but fuck that. I told the guy that was handling mine to say as little as possible and call me if there were questions. I really should have used this time wisely, went on a vacation like a normal person. Live and learn I guess.
Where would you go on vacation?
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QuakerOats

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2009, 06:57:37 PM »
hahahhaha, good stuff Danny.
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CalvinH

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2009, 07:02:19 PM »
Quote from: QuakerOats on March 13, 2009, 06:57:37 PM
hahahhaha, good stuff Danny.


Whattcha up to tonight big man ???
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QuakerOats

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2009, 07:26:03 PM »
Quote from: CalvinH on March 13, 2009, 07:02:19 PM

Whattcha up to tonight big man ???
eating a piece of medium rare top round as we speak, how 'bout you?
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BFP

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #14 on: March 13, 2009, 07:53:20 PM »
Good times.

Jason
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CalvinH

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Re: Just got a call from an angry husband
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2009, 10:13:17 AM »
Quote from: QuakerOats on March 13, 2009, 07:26:03 PM
eating a piece of medium rare top round as we speak, how 'bout you?



Eh,ended up staying home with the girlfriend and havin some drinks.
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