the truth about personal training

[johnnynoname]

i'm gonna get right to it

first, I was working as a personal trainer on and off over the last few years but only persued it Full-time as of January

anyway, I am certified by a very well recognized organization ( i won't name it cuz they don't need their name run through the mud here.....and no! the organization is NOT NAMBLA, you assclowns)

needless to say, i kinda sorta know my shit- actually, I don't remember a fucking thing from my course work and BARELY passed my exam the first time around. But, none the less, I am certified

anyway, here are the truths
feel free to chime in with yours

-Personal trainers do not work in the health business, they don't not work in the fitness business- IT IS A VANITY BUSINESS
please, stop with the ck'ing of blood pressure or finding out what meds a client is on- all clients want one thing- to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie
-All your clients are either cougars/milfs or gay men.  NO STRAIGHT MAN PAYS FOR PERSONAL TRAINING
-All clients want to bang their trainers/ have masturbated to their trainers
-All Clients are attracted to the fact that someone is telling them what to do i.e.  they are the submissive type/have a submission fetish
-the booksmart Trainers don't survive, being a trainer is about being good looking and ,basically, kicking the shit out of your clients- Why? Because paying for a trainer is spending discretionary income and discretionary income is spent towards "luxury items". Why pay for a luxury item that looks like shit?!

there is alot other truths but i'm drawing some blanks at the moment so i will add some here and there as they come up in my head

[Mars]

you dont want to know how many self proclaimed certified personal trainers dont know shit were they talk about.

[webcake]

Pretty accurate list.

Average client is an overweight woman, 50+ who wants to lose weight. If you think you will get to train all these hot young sluts, you are kidding yourself. 

[Eyeball Chambers]

Lovely older women are always with trainers. 

[MAXX]

how many clients have you fucked?

[johnnynoname]

you dont want to know how many self proclaimed certified personal trainers dont know shit were they talk about.

i know the "self proclaimed" type...it is funny that these types are usually black guys...i'm serious

I (and i know i can be making more money independently) am employed by a major, national gym so I go through a vetting process before i got the job so they knew that i was fully qualified first

that aside, I can honestly tell you that I haven't retained that much from my education and basically kick the shit out of my clients.  But, the fact in this matter is this: I'm still certified which gives me the license to do whatever the fuck i want

having a PT cert is like having a driver's license-  
When you get a driver's license, you are certified by said state to drive but it doesn't mean that you are exactly a "model" driver.  You choose what kinda driver you will be.  Whether it be a slow driver, a speedster, a defensive driver...whatever.  But the fact of the matter is that you are still certified by the state to drive

just cuz you got a pt cert doesn't mean you have to train people the way they tell you to train in the text book.
Imho, your cert (and again, this is MY opinion) gives you right to train your client HOWEVER you feel, without any questions

[johnnynoname]

If you think you will get to train all these hot young sluts, you are kidding yourself. 

yes and no
rich hot sluts (usually, due to daddy's money) always want a "trophy trainer" just to talk to

hey, who am i to stop them from wanting to pay to talk to me.  the money is green either way

btw, that is a saying i use alot.."the money is green"

how many clients have you fucked?

none but only because I worship money more than i do pussy at the moment

*waits for a genius to do the obvious "pussy dick" misquote trick *

[Quickerblade]

fuck it, milk it as much as you can, good luck with it

[johnnynoname]

Lovely older women are always with trainers. 

my PT manager's appointment book looks like a casting sheet for milfhunter.com or myfriendshotmom.com

i always tell him which one of his clients i beat off to the night before and he ALWAYS gets a kick out of it

[Quickerblade]

my PT manager's appointment book looks like a casting sheet for milfhunter.com or myfriendshotmom.com

i always tell him which one of his clients i beat off to the night before and he ALWAYS gets a kick out of it

totally unprofessional

[Eyeball Chambers]

totally unprofessional

lol

[webcake]

yes and no
rich hot sluts (usually, due to daddy's money) always want a "trophy trainer" just to talk to

hey, who am i to stop them from wanting to pay to talk to me.  the money is green either way

btw, that is a saying i use alot.."the money is green"

My point is i think some people are a bit naive about the industry before commencing work and just assume that it will be hot milfs and young hotties all day.
Like i said, the typical client is just a normal, older woman.

And sleeping with a client, as tempting as it may be, will sooner or later come back and bite you in the arse.....

[Eyeball Chambers]

my PT manager's appointment book looks like a casting sheet for milfhunter.com or myfriendshotmom.com

i always tell him which one of his clients i beat off to the night before and he ALWAYS gets a kick out of it

Wait a minute...

I thought you were gay? Seriously?  

[Quickerblade]

My point is i think some people are a bit naive about the industry before commencing work and just assume that it will be hot milfs and young hotties all day.
Like i said, the typical client is just a normal, older woman.

And sleeping with a client, as tempting as it may be, will sooner or later come back and bite you in the arse.....

that applies with any other business too

[johnnynoname]

another truth

-their is a new breed of trainers coming up who aren't atheletes and are using their textbooks as guides to making workouts/diet advice.  it doesn't take a genius to figure out that these types don't last AT ALL.  The best trainers are a combo of LOOKS, BRAVADO AND ARE/WERE GREAT ATHLETES AND TRAIN THEIR CLIENTS LIKE ATHLETES (at least, those clients who want results)

totally unprofessional

my work environment is straight out of a sitcom

put it this way, I carry my playgirl nudes on my Iphone (because i'm a vain narcississt) and my PT manager makes me show them to some of his clients in between their sessions......ALL TRUE, BTW

[webcake]

that applies with any other business too

Yep.

You need to establish a sensible median between business and pleasure...

[johnnynoname]

Wait a minute...

I thought you were gay? Seriously?  

i just look gay
i'm totally straight

[Eyeball Chambers]

i just look gay
i'm totally straight

lol

I thought you said you were gay a couple times?  Maybe I'm mixed up haha

[johnnynoname]

My point is i think some people are a bit naive about the industry before commencing work and just assume that it will be hot milfs and young hotties all day.
Like i said, the typical client is just a normal, older woman.

that is a good point

another misconception is that a personal trainer works in the "Health" industry- AGAIN, it is not a "Health" business..granted getting in better shape makes you healthier BUT the bottom line is that it is a , AGAIN, vanity business

[johnnynoname]

lol

I thought you said you were gay a couple times?  Maybe I'm mixed up haha

trust me
i can see where you think this man is gay

[kyomu]

i just look gay
i'm totally straight

Look like good honest guy.

[webcake]

that is a good point

another misconception is that a personal trainer works in the "Health" industry- AGAIN, it is not a "Health" business..granted getting in better shape makes you healthier BUT the bottom line is that it is a , AGAIN, vanity business

Which in turns brings up the issue of "looking the part"

You don't have to look like a model or be as massive as a pro bb'er (which would limit your clients anyway), but when you see these trainers who don't even look fit/healthy, you gotta wonder how long they will last.......

[johnnynoname]

You don't have to look like a model or be as massive as a pro bb'er (which would limit your clients anyway), but when you see these trainers who don't even look fit/healthy, you gotta wonder how long they will last.......

DING DING
WE HAVE A WINNER

[Andy Griffin]

*waits for a genius to do the obvious "pussy dick" misquote trick *

Followed by "Epic self ownage, he won't recover."

[peroni]

i'm gonna get right to it

first, I was working as a personal trainer on and off over the last few years but only persued it Full-time as of January

anyway, I am certified by a very well recognized organization ( i won't name it cuz they don't need their name run through the mud here.....and no! the organization is NOT NAMBLA, you assclowns)

needless to say, i kinda sorta know my shit- actually, I don't remember a fucking thing from my course work and BARELY passed my exam the first time around. But, none the less, I am certified

anyway, here are the truths
feel free to chime in with yours

-Personal trainers do not work in the health business, they don't not work in the fitness business- IT IS A VANITY BUSINESS
please, stop with the ck'ing of blood pressure or finding out what meds a client is on- all clients want one thing- to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie
-All your clients are either cougars/milfs or gay men.  NO STRAIGHT MAN PAYS FOR PERSONAL TRAINING
-All clients want to bang their trainers/ have masturbated to their trainers
-All Clients are attracted to the fact that someone is telling them what to do i.e.  they are the submissive type/have a submission fetish
-the booksmart Trainers don't survive, being a trainer is about being good looking and ,basically, kicking the shit out of your clients- Why? Because paying for a trainer is spending discretionary income and discretionary income is spent towards "luxury items". Why pay for a luxury item that looks like shit?!

there is alot other truths but i'm drawing some blanks at the moment so i will add some here and there as they come up in my head

That may be your truth as well as a lot of other people's,  but as a trainer of 15 years and a gym owner, I'll say you're way off base as far as making the all ecompassing sweeping statement. I work with a lot of pro athletes, (mostly basketball and tennis), a lot of physical therapy, young athletes, housewives (not milfs), a few milfs, 1 lesbian, and a lot of business professionals who are no where near gay. Bitterness is a sign of failure. Lighten up a bit on the industry you failed in and you may succeed in your next venture.