I tried unsuccessfully to link to to a recent front-page article in Metro, a British 'freesheet' newspaper, which can be picked up on buses and trains up and down the country.
I see shite in newspapers every day, but this one I thought I'd point out.
First of all, the lurid headline: Steroid Junkies at the Age of 11. FFS, talk about setting out your stall.
Reading on; the main thrust is that the number of under-18s 'poisoned' by steroids has 'soared' by almost half since five years ago.
Now, poisoned. That's a hell of a word. What do they mean? Conjurs up images of gravely-ill people laying in hospital, their bodies racked with pain, hair falling out, touch and go.
The story does not detail how exactly any of these people were poisoned. Maybe there are twats out there injecting Sus into their veins, who knows.
Then, according to official figures, the number of 11 to 15-year-olds taking steroids almost doubled between 2001 and 2007.
Official figures? That's a phrase used every day to legitimise whatever someone is trying to push. Official? Meaning obtained from or published by an office? Which office?
Later in the text there's mention of a parliamentary exchange between a Government minister and some obscure third-stringer from the Lib-Dems.
But still no mention of where these youth-steroid-use figures originally came from.
So could it be that clipboard jockeys are simply surveying schoolboys about drugs in general, then relying on those boys' self-reports of having used steroids?
The rival politician said that the dramatic increase in the number of children being admitted to hospitals for steroid misuse is extremely concerning.
The implication being that the current Government is failing in yet another sphere. Typical political pointscoring.
But it seems we are talking about maybe a hundred boys per year, somehow showing up at hospitals having apparently been 'poisoned' by steroids.
Are we perhaps talking about boys whose mothers have heard them talking to friends about using gear, the mothers then panicking and taking them to the A&E department at the nearest hospital, or maybe to the family doctor, who in turns sends him to hospital just to be on the safe side and cover his/her own ass?
And how many of these boys do you suppose are eleven years of age? One? A handful?
But there it is, great headline: Steroid Junkies at the Age of 11
Then there were some 'facts' about liver disease, shrinking bollocks, stunted growth, and bearded women.
Even better, steroids are easily obtained via the Internet and at gyms.
How many underage boys have credit cards and gym memberships? Oh yeah, none.
Incidentally, the first time I went looking for gear, it took me a long time to identify a source. When I asked the guy, he asked if I was sure I wanted to do it!
And I was 22 years old then, far from a teenager or a kid.
Newspapers are for wankers.
DAMY
