I usually shit very little since I eat only 1300 calories per day. At the same time, my hunger from my fat-man-appetite makes me so hungry on this diet that I have gone to desparate means. Every time I see a golden crapper in the bowl, I take him up, cuddle with him and bring him to the kitchen. I then put pepper on it and eat it. To get some extra taste, I store all my piss in the fridge and drink it while eating this meal.I assume that my shits don't have any calories in them, so I do not feel bad for having shit-feasts while being on a diet. Sometimes, when I feel extra dirty hungry, I pretend that the shit is actually chewing tobacco, and then I walk around all day with a lot of shit in my mouth. This dampens my hunger and gives me a feeling of eating something perpetually. It does bring some bad breath though but I dampen this bad breath by drinking gasoline for breakfast.Don't tell anybody this, but a few weeks ago I got so hungry that I went out in the street and picked up all the dogshit I could find. Ohh my god, I had a shit-feast like you can not immagine! I had about 10 pounds of shit in my fridge after hunting for treasures for an entire day, and I was not hungry for days. Im contemplating doing this again.
I collect all my shits in glass jars. I want to protect my newborns and make them grow up to be fine people like myself. My birth rate is enormous, just like my homies from 85th street.
I only shit in Pacos presence.
The only time I really shit is when I do Tabata cardio. Since I'm so fat, doing high intensity sprints makes me lose control over my ass and cock. When I've gone for a Tabata run, I've usually crapped in my pants and pissed myself. It makes a real mess, but since Im so smart people dont notice.One this is for sure, my shits are HUUUUUUUUUUUGE, ABSOLUTELY ENORMOUS!!!!!!! The dough of shit rolling around in my underpants after a Tabata Cardio session equals one of Wiggs kids.
Being a bald headed mongoloid with too many mental issues to finish my studies, my obsession with carefully measuring the size of my turds might come as no surprise. I often contemplate the metaphysical implications of the shit coming out of my ass, but sometimes I simply enjoy shitting forcefully like a savage. It stimulates my prostate and makes my ass feels good.
Being a future UCLA student, my mental issues of not going to UCLA makes it hard for me to shoot it out from my ass. The only way I can shit is if I watch Ducktales while jerking off. But once Mydavid fingered my ass, and I "came" all over her bar.
Being a creepy little freak, I usually take a dump into my palms before running out and throwing it on people on the street.
Steve Namet:
Measuring shit = a tricky scenario when taking into account the underlying factors. Debussey would like to measure it's own shit and eat it later, but it = not possible because it's asshole is either being probed by aliens or it's stool is being constantly pushed back in by God aka Gary Busey. However, Debussey knows it's shit = pea-sized just like it's IQ / brain because it doesn't like anything big, which is why it always attacks 600 lb whales like Onlysemen
ROFL, DF Oh, and to return the favor
i do not wear clothes as i like to show off. i take a dump wherever i like, for example in the park. i just lift my right foot up sideways and drop it out. But i do not pick it up like dog owners afterwards. I like to leave my mark. I am territorial.the length is difficult to estimate since its always a pile of shit.
Im a fucking savage on the toilet. I dont shit solid either, its more like a shit-spray and it sounds like a long fart when I go at it. Once I did it in my gfs face, and it looked like she got instant freckles. its fair to say Ive got a loose stomach.once i had fun with myself when i was bored. I layed on my back in bed, lifted my feet up to 90 degrees and shitsprayed my dog. I then did the walls while standing like I was being doggystyled. it took a few weeks to get the smell out of the dog and room but it was worth it. Ive never been so horny.
Back in college they used to call me "thunder". nuff said.
Brutal_1
A thread about shit!? Debussey - I might have known. Your parents need a good talking to.
I have this obsession with the geometrical properties of gourmet food, and when the time comes to drop some monkey babies out of my ass I like to emulate the visual appearance of my favourite dishes with advanced shit patterns. I usually do this on a plate, and tweak the poop patterns a bit with a fork afterwards. I find this economical and smart as I can both recycle my droppings into my next dinner and feel like a successful person from the upper class in england.
Dr.Chimps:
