Rip, i understand that you didn't fatten-up just to be found attractive by 'more' men.
My point is, this so-called 'fat-state' that you speak of, is really your natural status. Yes, you are at your most appealing and sexiest when carrying those added pounds.
Lori, I just think it is time that you reassess your goals. When you cut-up and become 'sickly lean' you just look unhealthy and totally non sexual.
Yes, i know that you should not be judged by sex appeal or how men find you. However, i just believe your view of yourself has become distorted. Hanging around in gyms for as long as you have (with some pretty fucked up people in your ear) can certainly send you on a confused trip about body image and what apparently 'looks good'.
In summary, be yourself. Embrace that natural sexy body and cute plump face.
You look like a women should look.
Stay as you are and just train for health and psychological well being.
Peace.