Bristol Palin says abstinence best path for teens

[OzmO]

he already said he would not and I personally can't see how that can be the logical choice in any circumstance.

Bum - what if your child slips up just once and instead of getting pregant contracts HIV

that would be a real bummer

If you ever have kids Straw, and I'm assuming you don't based on what i know, you have to respect BB intentions even if you don't feel they are realistic.

Parenthood is an incredibly powerful thing that can dramatically change a person.

[MB_722]

Did you see Idiocracy?  It had a lot of the same people.  Even the guy you just posted a pic of although I bet most didn't pick him out.

yes, awesome movie!

[Straw Man]

If you ever have kids Straw, and I'm assuming you don't based on what i know, you have to respect BB intentions even if you don't feel they are realistic.

Parenthood is an incredibly powerful thing that can dramatically change a person.

I've already said I don't have kids and if/when I do I will speak and treat them like the intelligent human beings that they will be

honestly - I have zero respect for anyone endagers his own children by denying reality.

The reality is that humans are weak and a responsible parent should teach his/her children to protect their health in the event of that "indiscretion" which Bum has most likely experienced himself

[OzmO]

Teach them what specifically Ozmo?  How to use condoms?  How to get a birth control prescription?    

But in response to your questions, what you say about what we teach kids is true and we can say that about everything we teach them.  They can be real hard heads.  And when you add in hormones it can be a dangerous combination.  

I teach my kids about sex, so they don't have to learn it from their peers.  I'm actually in a constant battle with their peers, Hollywood, etc. over what is right and wrong.  It's hard work.

This is how I see this whole subject:  kids are not ready for sex.  They're too young to be parents.  Disease is pretty rampant.  Kids should not be having sex.  I think most parents agree with this.  If that's the case, then this is the message we should give kids.  We shouldn't surrender and say they are animals who completely lack self-control and take them to Planned Parenthood when they turn 12 or 13.  We shouldn't send mixed messages by telling a kid to not have sex, and in the next breath give them a condom (that they're not going to use anyway).  
 

Take them to planned parent hood when they turn 12 or 13?  OMG!  Yikes!

My point is that you can teach them all you want and still hormones win.  If hormones win and you didn't make contraception a no strings attached option, you may end up with a pregnant daughter who feels she's disappointed you all her life.

[OzmO]

yes, awesome movie!

It's what plants CRAVE!!!!!!!!!

[OzmO]

I've already said I don't have kids and if/when I do I will speak and treat them like the intelligent human beings that they will be

honestly - I have zero respect for anyone endagers his own children by denying reality.

The reality is that humans are weak and a responsible parent should teach his/her children to protect their health in the event of that "indiscretion" which Bum has most likely experienced himself

Most journeys start with the best of intentions.

Be careful not to judge another's path if you haven't experienced his burdens.

 

[Straw Man]

Take them to planned parent hood when they turn 12 or 13?  OMG!  Yikes!

My point is that you can teach them all you want and still hormones win.  If hormones win and you didn't make contraception a no strings attached option, you may end up with a pregnant daughter who feels she's disappointed you all her life.

that pretty much sums up what an intelligent and reality based adult would teach their child

[muscleforlife]

What is the correct age for a person to have sex?
I keep seeing "kids" aren't ready to have sex.
 What is the correct age?
If they get married under the age of 21, is that old enough to have sex?
If you have never had sex and are at the age of 21, what makes you prepared for it?

I teach my children about safe sex, condoms, diseases, birth control.
I know that once they leave the house and are left to their own devices and what the world has to offer, all I can depend on is what they learned at home.

My children will be the first to tell you their parent's are NOT their friends.  We ARE their parents.

Judge Judy asks "how can you tell when a teenager is lying? Their mouths are moving."

Sandra

[Dos Equis]

Take them to planned parent hood when they turn 12 or 13?  OMG!  Yikes!

My point is that you can teach them all you want and still hormones win.  If hormones win and you didn't make contraception a no strings attached option, you may end up with a pregnant daughter who feels she's disappointed you all her life.

Or not.  

If a parent is going to teach their kids how to use condoms, they should do it when the kids hit puberty, which is about 12 or 13 these days.  

I understand where you're coming from.  But . . . one of the things condom et al. use assumes is kids will actually step out of their alien bodies and be completely responsible with condoms.  The link provided earlier shows just the opposite:  only half the kids (probably much less) will actually consistently use them.  

I actually think giving kids that stuff can have the opposite effect.  Give them a false sense of security and encourage sexual activity.    
  

[Straw Man]

Most journeys start with the best of intentions.

Be careful not to judge another's path if you haven't experienced his burdens.

 

I'm 42 years old and I have plenty of friends with kids and there are children in my family.

I can guarantee you that if/when I ever have kids that birth control, contraception and protecting their health and future will not be a controversial issue.

sex in general will not be an issue and won't be a subject of shame

[Straw Man]

Or not.  

If a parent is going to teach their kids how to use condoms, they should do it when the kids hit puberty, which is about 12 or 13 these days.  

I understand where you're coming from.  But . . . one of the things condom et al. use assumes is kids will actually step out of their alien bodies and be completely responsible with condoms.  The link provided earlier shows just the opposite:  only half the kids (probably much less) will actually consistently use them. 
I actually think giving kids that stuff can have the opposite effect.  Give them a false sense of security and encourage sexual activity.    
  

Bum - stop making up your own "facts"

50% was the lowest # and the vast majority were closer to 70% and education and lack of stigma all increased the percentage.

What exactly is your problem with teaching your kids that in case they are "weak" that they should protect themselves from disease and unplanned pregnancy.  What EXACTLY is the problem with that?

[MB_722]

It's what plants CRAVE!!!!!!!!!

hahaha




 

[muscleforlife]

unfortunately at the age of 12 or 13, your child may have already been exposed to topics on and about sex.

Television, music, sexting, computers, magazines, books, etc
Sex is all over the place in one form or another.
You don't know how your child's peers discuss this amongst themselves.

Again, you can only hope all of the home training has an impact against peer onslaught.

Sandra

[Straw Man]

unfortunately at the age of 12 or 13, your child may have already been exposed to topics on and about sex.

Television, music, sexting, computers, magazines, books, etc
Sex is all over the place in one form or another.
You don't know how your child's peers discuss this amongst themselves.

Again, you can only hope all of the home training has an impact against peer onslaught.

Sandra

very true

[Dos Equis]

Bum - quite making up your own facts.

50% was the lowest # and the vast majority were closer to 70% and education and lack of stigma all increased the percentage.

What exactly is your problem with teaching your kids that in case they are "weak" that they should protect themselves from disease and unplanned pregnancy.  What EXACTLY is the problem with that?

Quit distoring your own link.  Seventy percent did not relate to long-term use.  Here is the quote from you link about long-term use:

"Just one-half of sexually active teen males reported using a condom consistently with their most recent sexual partners."  

You should quite while you're behind.  lol  I'll be using that link.  [still laughing  ]

[OzmO]

My children will be the first to tell you their parent's are NOT their friends.  We ARE their parents.

Judge Judy asks "how can you tell when a teenager is lying? Their mouths are moving."

Sandra

I pretty much agree with the other stuff i deleted but this i don't agree with.  

I think it's important to be both otherwise kids will not always feel they can confide and "talk" to you about certain things for fear of punishment.  I have a daughter that's going to be 21 in June and a son who's going to be 18 in June.  I've been in the thick of it for some time.  I have been able to influence them in way never before dreamed of by my parents.

I think Judge Judy's opinion is cynical and negative.  She obviously raised some passive aggressive children.  

[Dos Equis]

unfortunately at the age of 12 or 13, your child may have already been exposed to topics on and about sex.

Television, music, sexting, computers, magazines, books, etc
Sex is all over the place in one form or another.
You don't know how your child's peers discuss this amongst themselves.

Again, you can only hope all of the home training has an impact against peer onslaught.

Sandra

Yes I do, and it isn't pretty.   

I agree with your last sentence. 

[OzmO]

I'm 42 years old and I have plenty of friends with kids and there are children in my family.

I can guarantee you that if/when I ever have kids that birth control, contraception and protecting their health and future will not be a controversial issue.

sex in general will not be an issue and won't be a subject of shame

This is something, much thanks to their Mom at first, I now very much agree with.  Too much "shame" is attached to sex and our bodies.  

I remember being at one of my children's cousin's house on their mom's side once and the 9 year old cousin and parents where watching a movie.  There was a scene where the leading actors were kissing and the parents changed the channel to a war movie saying that the kid shouldn't learn about sex, but it's ok for the kid to watch cowboys killing Indians.

[Dos Equis]

I think it's important to be both otherwise kids will not always feel they can confide and "talk" to you about certain things for fear of punishment.  I have a daughter that's going to be 21 in June and a son who's going to be 18 in June.  I've been in the thick of it for some time.  I have been able to influence them in way never before dreamed of by my parents.

I agree.  If your kids trust you, they will confide in you, and will be more likely to follow your training, and more importantly your example.

But I'm out.  Gotta kid pick up one kid, train with the other.  Been running my cyber mouth all day with you people.  

[muscleforlife]

I think that there will ALWAYS be something that a person will keep to themselves.

Did you confide every nth of your distress in your teenage years to your parents?
Is there no stone unturned in your angst years that you could confide in no one?

Your teen is going to tell you when they cut school?  tried the first cigarette?  first drink?  first drug? first grope?
What would your teen do to keep the parent in the dark because they may not be so innocent in some hijinks?

Would you trust your teen(18 and above) in your house alone while out of town for a weekend?

Sandra

[Straw Man]

Quit distoring your own link.  Seventy percent did not relate to long-term use.  Here is the quote from you link about long-term use:

"Just one-half of sexually active teen males reported using a condom consistently with their most recent sexual partners."  

You should quite while you're behind.  lol  I'll be using that link.  [still laughing  ]

yes please do use that link.  Most adults with normal brain function will be able to understand what it's saying

As I have also pointed out - 50% is the LOWEST level of compliance noted in the study

The worst case scenario is 1 out of 2 will use a condom

here's the summary of the pdf link:

Although condom use among teen males is fairly high, one out of three is not using a condom the first or most recent time he has sex and one out of two is not using condoms consistently in his most recent sexual relationship. Inconsistent condom use increases the risk of STIs and potentially unintended pregnancy. The study on which this Fact Sheet is based found that multiple dimensions of a male teen’s life influence his condom use and consistency. Increasing access to formal sex education, reducing the number of risky sexual partners, maintaining condom use and consistency in longer relationships, and improving attitudes about condom use are all promising strategies for improving male involvement in contraceptive use within relationships and reducing high rates on teen pregnancy and STIs in the United States.

[OzmO]

I think that there will ALWAYS be something that a person will keep to themselves.

Agreed and it should be that way.

Did you confide every nth of your distress in your teenage years to your parents?

I didn't.  I didn't have that kind of relationship with them to the degree I'm talking about.  Not that they were bad parents.  They were great.

Is there no stone unturned in your angst years that you could confide in no one?

Not sure what you mean by that.

Your teen is going to tell you when they cut school?  

Yep.  My son did.  

tried the first cigarette?  first drink?  first drug? first grope?

My daughter with their mom did.  I wasn't as approachable 5 years ago.  Hadn't learned the value of being approachable yet.

What would your teen do to keep the parent in the dark because they may not be so innocent in some hijinks?

That's passive aggressive behavior.  Allowing them to talk to me, to talk it out, helps lessen that.  I don't expect it to disappear because to a degree it human nature to buck full responsibility.

Would you trust your teen(18 and above) in your house alone while out of town for a weekend?

Sandra

Yes.  And have.

[muscleforlife]

Yes I do, and it isn't pretty.   

I agree with your last sentence. 

Life isn't pretty.
Last week a athlete fell over dead from a heart attack while running in track practice(no drugs)
A sophomore has throat clamydia.

This week...Today, the school was on "lock down" because of a police chase ended in our town, 2 blocks away from the high school.
This is the conversation I am having with my 18yr old and school personnel.

It was safer living in the "hood"
Teens working now have dispoable income,Media is  targeting them.
Sandra

[muscleforlife]

Agreed and it should be that way.

I didn't.  I didn't have that kind of relationship with them to the degree I'm talking about.  Not that they were bad parents.  They were great.

Not sure what you mean by that.
By this I meant every toe stub and bully punch.

Yep.  My son did.  
What did you do when he told you?
My daughter with their mom did.  I wasn't as approachable 5 years ago.  Hadn't learned the value of being approachable yet.
What did mom do?  In the two instances above, what was the punishment if any?

That's passive aggressive behavior.  Allowing them to talk to me, to talk it out, helps lessen that.  I don't expect it to disappear because to a degree it human nature to buck full responsibility.

At some point you hve to acknowledge the cord is being cut.  Life shows you thta sometimes when you fuck up, there is no support system to talk it out with.

Yes.  And have.
I only would when they have lived on their own and understand the responsibitity of home ownership.
Sandra

[OzmO]

When my son skipped school i asked him the reason he did it.  After he explained to me why he did I talked to him about how every choice made regardless of reasons have consequences.  He didn't skip school because of the typical reasons kids skip school.   Because it was his first time ever skipping, the consequences he dealt with were from the school.  It was understood that if it ever happened again there would be consequences from me also and that next time he was faced with though choices I encouraged him to come to me first to help make a better choice.  Since, he hasn't to my knowledge ever skipped school again. 

The other stuff ended without punishment on the first instance either.  My son is pretty straight and narrow but my daughter is a regular hell raiser.  The standing rule is as long as we are alive is that both my children can call us at anytime in their lives if they are too drunk or stoned or whatever to drive or don't have a fully sober ride and we will come and pick them up without fear or consequence. (not that we aren't going to say a great deal about it)  It's never had to happen so far, thank god.

At some point you hve to acknowledge the cord is being cut.  Life shows you thta sometimes when you fuck up, there is no support system to talk it out with.

Well I think life shows you that there isn't always someone to bail you out and I agree, you must sleep in the bed you made.   But as long their mom and I are alive we will always be there for them to talk with.