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Author Topic: i'm going to be 45 and i still don't have a real career?!  (Read 50647 times)
Montague
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« Reply #25 on: August 11, 2009, 07:44:27 PM »

Someone just brought this thread to my attention and asked me to comment.


Tom:

I hate to tell you what you already know but…  yes, it is too late to have a “real successful high paying career.”  At 45 you should not be taking out student loans.  In fact, you should already have anywhere between $100K and $500K in one or more retirement accounts (401K, 403b, Roth IRA, etc.) and that amount should be increasing rapidly as you get older.  In reading your post above, a couple things really stand out.

1) You appear to jump in and out of occupations without any real commitment to them or a real understanding of what the work entails.  That is no way to build a career.

2)  You also appear preoccupied with the fact that you are pushing 45 but “act alot younger.”  Has it occurred to you that this may be your problem?  Stop acting “younger” and start acting like an adult.  Young people “fuck around for alot of years” adults have a future orientation and make sacrifices that pay off in the long run.

The realist in me says, you have made your bed, now lie in it; the optimist in me says all is not lost.  It is still possible to secure your future.

-- as someone suggested, with your degree you could become certified to teach in a local school district.  No one gets rich being a teacher, but I think most people would agree that teaching is a more respectable profession than “working only part time as a manager at a recreational center.”  Good school districts require all teachers to eventually get a master’s degree at some point in their career.  But the district may many options surrounding this requirement including helping you pay for the degree.

-- assuming you are very attractive with a killer bod (presumably you have been building your body all these years) you could pair up with a successful companion and build a life with that person.  Sure, you would be the junior partner/trophy in the relationship, but would that really be a worse fate that the life you are living right now?

-- you could write your way out!  You claim to be a good communicator and writer (though your post above calls that into question). Embarrassed  Writing is something you can do right now—today—with no additional training or cost.  Just one good novel could put you on the map and secure your future.  Dan Brown literally became a billionaire with The Da Vinci Code. J. K. Rowling did the same thing with her Harry Potter books.  Their billion dollar pay days do not even include income from the film rights to their books.  But know that writing (especially a novel) requires more than imagination.  You must be able to focus on the writing project over many months or even years!  Can you do that?  Even then your novel must be good! 

As you noted above, California is expensive!  Unless you have a suitcase full of money, moving back here in your present state would be utter folly.  You appear to disdain the idea of being an office worker, sitting in a cubicle, and wearing a suit every day.  Would doing that (and building a future) really be more “horrible” than the future you are facing right now?  What will you do when your brother eventually puts you out?  No matter how much he loves you, you can bet he doesn’t want you living with him in perpetuity... 

It sounds like you want a 9-5, suit wearing income without doing what it takes to earn that income.  As I said previously, it is time to stop acting a lot younger and start acting like an adult. Undecided


Good post, Bay.
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« Reply #26 on: August 11, 2009, 08:36:36 PM »

Bay nails it.  The best advice you're gonna get on this one.
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The Master
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« Reply #27 on: August 11, 2009, 09:09:07 PM »

Hint: You are in this situation because of your own personality attributes.

You should spend some time figuring out yourself, finding out what you want and perhaps talk to a professional that can help you gain a better perspective and help you work through some of the things in your head that has gotten you into this shit in the first place.
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« Reply #28 on: August 11, 2009, 09:59:32 PM »

Hint: You are in this situation because of your own personality attributes.

You should spend some time figuring out yourself, finding out what you want and perhaps talk to a professional that can help you gain a better perspective and help you work through some of the things in your head that has gotten you into this shit in the first place.

Then build a time machine... go back into the past... and make better choices.  Bah ha ha ha ha ha  Doom is amused by your buffoonery.

Seriously, you are 45 years old, have no savings or retirement to speak of, you have $30K in student loans, live with your younger brother, and work part time at a rec center.  Bah!  There is a word for “men” like you:  L _ _ _ _.

Doom disapproves.
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gordiano
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« Reply #29 on: August 11, 2009, 11:00:44 PM »

My "advices"...


Option 1:


Got any money? Do they have a "lottery" where you live? If so, play it.

Option 2:

Find a lady a bit older than you and rich, and pull a an "Anna Nicole".

Option 3:

Buy a gun. Buy one bullet. Load gun....put gun to head, pull trigger.  Undecided
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HAHA, RON.....
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« Reply #30 on: August 12, 2009, 07:16:54 AM »

My "advices"...


Option 1:


Got any money? Do they have a "lottery" where you live? If so, play it.

Option 2:

Find a lady a bit older than you and rich, and pull a an "Anna Nicole".

Option 3:

Buy a gun. Buy one bullet. Load gun....put gun to head, pull trigger.  Undecided

really   ...you=dickhead
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Hustle Man
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« Reply #31 on: August 12, 2009, 07:29:59 AM »

It sounds like you want a 9-5, suit wearing income without doing what it takes to earn that income.  As I said previously, it is time to stop acting a lot younger and start acting like an adult.  Roll Eyes

Brutal honesty good advice Bay Man!

To the youngins (18-40) start early preparing for your financial future, don't leave anything to chance. You may have to go without in order to save for the future. If you are an average Joe like me it is imperative that you look toward the future, i.e. wills, savings vacationing etc., and for many of life's obstacles. Youth will not last so don't live in the moment, plan ahead not just to get some head.

Fortunately I lucked out and married someone who can support us (and vice versa) if the need arises.

Plan ahead and plan ahead again.

HM (old dog same tricks)
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W
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« Reply #32 on: August 12, 2009, 08:28:36 AM »

Then build a time machine... go back into the past... and make better choices.  Bah ha ha ha ha ha  Doom is amused by your buffoonery.

Seriously, you are 45 years old, have no savings or retirement to speak of, you have $30K in student loans, live with your younger brother, and work part time at a rec center.  Bah!  There is a word for “men” like you:  L _ _ _ _.

Doom disapproves.


Moron.

If he does not fix the source of the problem now, he won't be going far, and the problem persists.

Regardless of ones age, one fixes the problems by attacking the fundamental shit leading to them.

He is 45, he still has at least 20 good years left in him. Spending time working out his personal issues (the fundamental factor) while solving the practical problems simultaneously = the best route.
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BayGBM
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« Reply #33 on: August 12, 2009, 10:18:57 AM »

Debussey, you and VonDoom are both correct.  Notice that on the heels of what you suggest, Doom said “then build a time machine…”  Obviously, going back in time without addressing his issues would not lead Tom to a different outcome.  In any case, short of winning the lottery our friend’s future does not look too good. 

I know a school teacher that makes $80k.  He is 43, teaches junior high school, and is very happy with his career, retirement portfolio, etc.  But becoming a successful teacher requires a degree of professional discipline, and Tom shows little evidence of that.

It is not clear why any successful person would choose Tom as a partner given his history of decision-making.  Someone looking for a trophy can easily find someone a lot younger and probably in better shape.

Finally, if his post above is any indication Tom undertaking a writing career is a nonstarter.  I think everyone here can see that.

I don't want to be rude, but I'm going to give it to you straight. Writing isn't your strong suit, at least proper capitalization. So, it's safe to say, you can scratch that off your list.

Good luck.

Cry

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« Reply #34 on: August 12, 2009, 10:33:17 AM »

Debussey, you and VonDoom are both correct.  Notice that on the heels of what you suggest, Doom said “then build a time machine…”  Obviously, going back in time without addressing his issues would not lead Tom to a different outcome.  In any case, short of winning the lottery our friend’s future does not look too good. 

I know a school teacher that makes $80k.  He is 43, teaches junior high school, and is very happy with his career, retirement portfolio, etc.  But becoming a successful teacher requires a degree of professional discipline, and Tom shows little evidence of that.

It is not clear why any successful person would choose Tom as a partner given his history of decision-making.  Someone looking for a trophy can easily find someone a lot younger and probably in better shape.

Finally, if his post above is any indication Tom undertaking a writing career is a nonstarter.  I think everyone here can see that.
 
Cry


GOD DAMN...yall mean as shit..what if he took up acting. Maybe he is a natural. Mature Porn, Invent something, Maybe he can get into fitness and train..i dont know..Im just saying, he dont need to give up on life at 45...
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BayGBM
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« Reply #35 on: August 12, 2009, 10:46:09 AM »

GOD DAMN...yall mean as shit..what if he took up acting. Maybe he is a natural. Mature Porn, Invent something, Maybe he can get into fitness and train..i dont know..Im just saying, he dont need to give up on life at 45...

I’m not saying he needs to give up, but he does need to grow up!

Actor, voice-over work, water treatment operator, teacher, inventor, CIA, etc. we can throw out suggestions until we are blue in the face, but if he doesn’t grow up and start making adult decisions he will fail in any of those undertakings.  By his own admission he “fucked around for alot of years.”  Remember Aesop’s fable about the ant and the grasshopper?  Tom is a grasshopper... and winter is coming!  Undecided


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* ant-grasshopper-fable-energy-prices-ready-graphic.jpg (53.03 KB, 437x273 - viewed 1550 times.)
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« Reply #36 on: August 12, 2009, 11:05:21 AM »

I’m not saying he needs to give up, but he does need to grow up!

Actor, voice-over work, water treatment operator, teacher, inventor, CIA, etc. we can throw out suggestions until we are blue in the face, but if he doesn’t grow up and starting making adult decisions he will fail in any of those undertakings.  By his own admission he “fucked around for alot of years.”  Remember Aesop’s fable about the ant and the grasshopper?  Tom is a grasshopper... and winter is coming!  Undecided

I gotcha..
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« Reply #37 on: August 12, 2009, 11:53:41 AM »

Debussey, you and VonDoom are both correct.  Notice that on the heels of what you suggest, Doom said “then build a time machine…”  Obviously, going back in time without addressing his issues would not lead Tom to a different outcome.  In any case, short of winning the lottery our friend’s future does not look too good. 

I know a school teacher that makes $80k.  He is 43, teaches junior high school, and is very happy with his career, retirement portfolio, etc.  But becoming a successful teacher requires a degree of professional discipline, and Tom shows little evidence of that.

It is not clear why any successful person would choose Tom as a partner given his history of decision-making.  Someone looking for a trophy can easily find someone a lot younger and probably in better shape.

Finally, if his post above is any indication Tom undertaking a writing career is a nonstarter.  I think everyone here can see that.
 
Cry




Some good points there.

Let's not forget that getting really really good in a field (which usually influences your bottom line) takes many years. This dude can't expect getting really good in a field unless he puts in 7-10+ years of really good effort, and given his questionable work ethic/decision making skills (as you pointed out) it's hard to see him really getting there unless he achieves some major changes in his personality.

 Undecided
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BayGBM
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« Reply #38 on: August 12, 2009, 01:02:10 PM »


Some good points there.

Let's not forget that getting really really good in a field (which usually influences your bottom line) takes many years. This dude can't expect getting really good in a field unless he puts in 7-10+ years of really good effort, and given his questionable work ethic/decision making skills (as you pointed out) it's hard to see him really getting there unless he achieves some major changes in his personality.

 Undecided

Exactly!

Everyone feels entitled now... They all want to start out making 75k a year... That's bullshit.

You work your way up to that salary... You don't just graduate and get it.

Todays kids are ridiculous.

So are some of today's adults.  Embarrassed

I dont really know what to do with my life.  I love to argue, and if I could make up my mind and set a goal I  would reach it.

Here we go again...  Roll Eyes

RPF... meet Tom.
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gordiano
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« Reply #39 on: August 13, 2009, 02:36:07 AM »

really   ...you=dickhead

 Grin
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HAHA, RON.....
BayGBM
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« Reply #40 on: August 14, 2009, 12:34:17 PM »

hi guys, well, here's my story: i just turned 44, (wow!) although i look and feel a decade younger.  just started working out again ( going on 3 weeks) after many years of not working out, although  thru my jobs have been "active".

 i'm 5 feet 10 inches and weigh 225 pounds, just did a bodyfat test where i for me i thought was shockingly high bodyfat ratio: 23 percent!

the guy told me 10-15 is lean, 15-20 is average and 25 or more is obese.


There you go again!  Stop trying to kid us (and yourself) that you are a younger than you really are.  Low self esteem and insecurity about your age is nothing to brag about.

Forget what I said about having a killer bod and becoming a trophy wife/boy.  Sounds like you can scratch that off your list as well.  Embarrassed
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BayGBM
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« Reply #41 on: September 28, 2009, 09:16:24 AM »

Maybe there is hope for you yet.  Smiley


Surprising Jobs that Pay $25 an Hour
Career websites typically compile a listing of jobs that pay $25 an hour. The list of professions -- and the career training you need to pass the muster of recruiters -- can be daunting. But you don't necessarily need a post-graduate degree to qualify for a job that pays several hundred dollars a day...

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-surprising_jobs_that_pay_25_an_hour-983
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Montague
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« Reply #42 on: September 28, 2009, 10:19:43 AM »

I wish I’d known earlier in life that advanced degrees are not the only pre-requisite for earning a good living.
The above are all certainly good recommendations if you can find availability in your region.

One other I read about a few years ago is “crime scene clean-up.”
Particularly in higher crime areas where the demand is greater, personnel in this field can earn over $60,000 annually.
Job details include safe & sanitary removal of biological remains, meth labs, etc. 

No formal training is required in most cases, although having a strong stomach is preferred.
And it doesn’t hurt to have a background in fire and/or HAZ-MAT – particularly when dealing with drug labs.
 
Some cities, though, rely on their own fire dept. or hazmat teams for this type of work.
One trick might be finding a privately owned & operated company that does this type of work.

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BayGBM
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« Reply #43 on: September 28, 2009, 10:51:05 AM »

In many cases these “alternative” career options are not as appealing as they seem.  Many of these careers do require training of some sort and the people who are looking for high paying alternative careers tend to hate the need for additional training—of any kind.  They also often find that the requisite training is “harder than I thought it was going to be.”

Many of these alternative jobs are not as portable as one may like.  Once you have the job, you are pretty much stuck; you can’t easily pick up and move to a new state to, for example, escape cold weather, be closer to relatives, or otherwise live the glamorous life in San Diego.  And you often hit a professional ceiling rather quickly and realize there is no where else to go.

Finally, many of these jobs pay relatively well, because they are jobs that no one really wants to do.  Yahoo managed to put together some attractive job titles (Paralegal, Police Officer, Interior Designer), but I think they are sugar coating the reality.  Does anyone really aspire to be a Respiratory Therapist?  In some markets garbage men make good money, but is riding on the back of a garbage truck how you want to spend the next 20 years?  Given all you now know, would you steer your child into one of these professions or would you encourage him or her to increase their professional options by getting a degree and relevant experience?

We would all like to “fuck around for a lot of years” and then waltz right into a job as a studio executive in the film industry, unfortunately, that’s not the way the real world works.
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Montague
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« Reply #44 on: September 28, 2009, 11:22:04 AM »

Does anyone really aspire to be a Respiratory Therapist?  In some markets garbage men make good money, but is riding on the back of a garbage truck how you want to spend the next 20 years?

A lot of that depends on the individual and what he or she aspires to. Some people view their job as a means to an end rather than their life’s meaning.
 
My cousin is a respiratory therapist. She’s very passionate about her career, has her own business, and makes a decent living.
But I also know several people who are involved in other jobs in the medical field such as x-ray techs, who simply do the work because it’s relatively easy and pays well, thus providing them a decent life.

If the work is tolerable and affords you a satisfactory lifestyle, that may be enough.
Some people want a fulfilling job.
Others want a fulfilling paycheck.

The most fortunate are the ones who make a damn good living doing what they love.
The least fortunate have a miserable, shit job that pays a shit wage.
Everyone else falls somewhere in between.

Our friend Tom needs to find the best combination of the above for himself.
I wonder how he’s doing.



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« Reply #45 on: September 30, 2009, 10:49:45 AM »

American capitalism fucked up the entire world economy... Big corporations have it all, the individual is nothing but a cannon ball...
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« Reply #46 on: September 30, 2009, 09:09:15 PM »

The dude hasn't posted since his original post. Maybe he got a job.
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BayGBM
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« Reply #47 on: October 01, 2009, 12:57:56 PM »

The dude hasn't posted since his original post. Maybe he got a job.

He has a job; he does not "have a real career."  He still posts here . . . as recently as September 28.  
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=299907.msg4287234#msg4287234

I’m sure if he went from “part time as a manager at a recreational center in the Midwest” to a satisfying, well paying career he would come back to tell us about it.
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Montague
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« Reply #48 on: October 01, 2009, 03:00:41 PM »

Or he landed that CEO position & has forgotten about us "little" Getbig folk who guided him to greatness...
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BayGBM
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« Reply #49 on: October 01, 2009, 03:40:08 PM »

Or he landed that CEO position & has forgotten about us "little" Getbig folk who guided him to greatness...

CEO is aiming a bit high.  He merely "wanted to be in the film industry as an executive for a studio or production company."  Roll Eyes
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